Thursday, November 18, 2010

How you doing?

Apparently, when you're pregnant, all of a sudden people care how you're feeling. I haven't figured out if it's genuine concern or just nosiness yet, but the new found concern for my well being amazes me. Whenever I say I'm doing well with no morning sickness people seem surprised. Do they just want to see me miserable? Cuz I'm not going to do it. My dad calls me at least 3 times a week now just to ask how I am, my coworkers ask if I need anything. For the record, I feel great and I don't sit around and complain- except to MrC and my momma because they won't act right!
MrC: What you been doing all day?
Me: resting
MrC: You know what, you ain't been doing nothing for the past two weeks, I'm thinking about putting my hands on you (it's a joke people, I think from the Kevin Hart DVD- please don't call the police, lol)
Me: You know what I've been doing for the past 9 weeks? I've been using all my energy to grow a healthy baby! That's what I've been doing *places hand dramatically on belly while sighing deeply like I've actually done something*
MrC: Here we go!
Me: And we're going to keep going till I get what I need from you to raise your kid (also a joke, from Save the Last Dance- we need to grow up)
MrC and I have at lease one conversation a day that turns out like that. This morning we had this episode:
MrC: *opens container of whipped shea butter that I made only to find it empty* You need to get back in the lab, you've been slipping on our beauty products.
Me: Wanna know why? Cuz I've been too busy trying to grow a healthy baby!
It's hilarious. It's also hilarious that he thinks I'm going to wash all those dishes in the sink. Because I'm not.
My momma refuses to allow me to turn into a helpless pregnant woman. I guess that's a good thing, because nobody likes a brat, but what's the point of being pregnant if you're not going to milk it for all it's worth? We went to my parent's house after church last night and I had every intention of convincing my daddy to make me macaroni and cheese and pina colada's. It was the easiest task ever. I walked in their bedroom:
Me: Is that mac n cheese on your plate?
Daddy: Yeah, I made it yesterday, there's some in the fridge
Me: *runs down the hall like a maniac singing and screaming for joy to warm up my food*
Dadddy: *comes in kitchen*
Me: Ummm, daddy, don't you want a pina colada, cuz I know I do
Mommy: Girl, shut up and go home. Are you going to clean up after him? Go do those dishes
Daddy: *pulls out blender, pineapples, and pina colada mix and makes his baby a fruity drink*
See? Why can't everybody be as nice as my daddy? I'm only growing a human in my belly ;)
Yesterday when I went in my parent's kitchen I took out the macaroni and sat it on the counter. My mom came in with the headbands she was making for me. MrC was in the kitchen going through the fridge when I took the macaroni out, but he went and sat on the couch. My ma and I sat in the kitchen for 5 minutes arguing over the headbands, because she wouldn't do what I wanted and then tried to force a small headband over all my hair. The macaroni was still on the counter. MrC was still on the couch. We finish the headband argument (I won) and I got up to warm up my food. MrC asks "is that for me?" Umm no it's not for you! You have had ample opportunity to warm you up some food. So I warm it up, and then decide to be nice and take him the bowl. He refuses it and calls me mean! I almost stabbed him with my fork. My ma (who never takes my side) was like "what? She just brought you the bowl and you said no." He claims I only brought it because I felt guilty. Dude please. So I sit down and start eating. Halfway through, he comes over, takes my bowl, and goes to sit down and eat it. I don't think I've ever snatched something so fast in my life! "Baby, have you lost your mind? You can't take the food I'm already eating!" My ma found this hilarious. He finally warms up his food and I get up to get seconds, but I can't find my fork because MrC is using it. I don't know what that dude was smoking last night, but I'm pretty sure there is a rule about not taking a pregnant woman's food. He found this all hilarious, I did not. Somebody better pray for him, because I'm going to cut him before the next 7 months are up.


K. Rock said...

You are hilarious.

I am all about milking pregnancy. But you may want to wait a few months. When you start showing, they will do anything for you.

Sheena said...

...And let the games begin.

I agree with K. Rock. Once your belly actually begins to show, your mom and MrC will be doing things too.

GorgeousPuddin said...

This whole exchange was too FUNNY!
I love it! Congrats on no morning sickness you ARE blessed.

blog design by