Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Labor: Part 1

Alright, here's my labor and delivery story :) It's long. Well it's not long, but I'm feeling talkative. I'll post it in parts.

Picture this: Sunday, May 22, 2011. My parent's house. Late evening. 

Ma: Why don't you have pants on?
MrC: We aren't at home, put your pants on!
Me: But it feels like Judah is about to fall out of my va.gin.a. It's uncomfortable with pants on, so I took them off.
MrC: You're nasty

Monday Morning. The Count's apartment.

I was feeling so lazy Monday morning. I was hoping to be in and out of my doctor's appointment really quickly. Got there and passed the first series of tests then went back for the non stress test. While hooked up to the test I had a contraction. Judah did not like it at all. His heart decelerated after the contraction. The nurse went and showed StalkerDramaDr. StalkerDramaDr walked in 5 minutes later and said 

StaklerDramaDr: Well, MrsC, we're going to go ahead and have this baby today.
Me: What???
StalkerDramaDr: Yeah, you're at 36 weeks. We see the fetus didn't like the contraction and at this point we don't want to risk anything. Let's just get him out healthy. Head on over to the hospital. 
Me: Well alright then.
Nurse: It might not be today, induction can take awhile. Tell your family not to rush
Me: Shooot, if I have to be there, they have to be there too. I'm calling them right now.

Me (to front desk ladies): Well guys, I guess this is goodbye. It's been real, I'm about to head over and have the baby *waiting room of pregnant women look up at me in a panic*
FDL: Awww! We're going to miss you. You've been one of the most bubbly pleasant patients we've had in along time. We'll miss seeing you every other day. 
Me: Thanks for all your help these past few months. I appreciate y'all.

Then I got in my car and called MrC.
Me: Hey babe, we're about to have a baby
MrC: Whatt?
Me: Yeah, she told me to go to the hospital now. Judah didn't like the ONE contraction I had during the test.
MrC; So what are you about to do?
Me: Go home. I got stuff to do.
MrC: I knew it. I'm on my way

Then I called my momma:
Me: Wanna meet your grandchild today?
Ma: Whattt?
Me: Yeah, I'm about to get induced. Well after I go home first.
Ma: I'm on my way.

So then I went home. And proceeded to tweet about it. And make pulled pork sandwiches and french fries. And send my time sheet in to work. And dance nekkid in the middle of the floor (of course that's when MrC came home and demanded I get focused.) And then I took a shower, shaved, exfoliated, and greased myself up. By the time I finished that my ma was there. I danced around for a bit more and then we headed over to the hospital.


laughing808 said...

you are too funny...........

Jameil said...

LOLOL You are definitely one of the best pregnant people I've ever known! Almost all sunshine and light. I truly enjoyed the journey! Can't wait to read about the rest!

InnerDiva said...

Congrats! I know at some point I'll need to post Nasir's birth story, but it's been super hectic around these parts. When they induced you, how long did Judah take? They ended up breaking my water after hour 27...

Hope you guys are doing well and getting some sleep!

Adrienne said...

ROFLOL! Congrats again!

CaliSlim said...

LMAO. You are soooo special!

Nerd Girl said...

You are hilarious!!! And now I've got to try and fill my mind with visions other than you and your naked preggo dance!!

Jazz said...

you are too funny.

BK said...

I'm dying at you dancing nekkid and Mr. C walking in lmao hahahahaaa

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