Thursday, August 28, 2008

Ohhh Scandolous!

I just got back from the doctor. She was saying all sorts of words I didn't want to hear and I won't repeat them because words have power. I'm about to call a specialist and go in to see her. I won't say I'm scared, but I am a little concerned. And I will be angry if what the doctor was saying turns out to be accurate. I will be angry because I have seen 2 doctor's and had 2 emergency room visits behind this. Yeahhhhhh, it's been going on for years! Anyway I would like to take this time to say Kaiser is tha bomb! She's going to email me my lab results in about an hour to rule out some things which is helpful, no long waits and stress. Woohoo!

Yesterday they decided on Bosslady's permanent replacement. Wanna know who? Wait for it.......wait for it.....her best friend! It's not as scandalous and dramatic as I just tried to make it though. I was trying to spice up my day, lol. But seriously her BFF is taking over her job. I found out the client requested the Bosslady be taken of the account, she liked the rest of us but referred to Bosslady as incompetent (she said it in a nice way though) she even volunteered to call her and explain herself, but Bossman told her that's ok, he'd take care of it. I like the new lady though. I don't know what to call her. I'll have to think on this one, she was my office sHero though. She started out in customer service and worked her way up to where she is in 4 years (that's kind of a big deal) and she has a new baby, and her wedding picture is her computer background ( I like things like that), and she's pretty with nice hair (I'm obsessed with hair). She also has a very loud, very ugly, laugh. Why is that relevant? Because when I was younger Mama TM had this conversation with me: Baby, you laugh way to loud. Why do you do that? No man wants a loud woman, especially one that starts screaming out in public. You need to tone it down if you ever want a man. It was so funny to me, because when I say "I was screaming laughing" I mean it! I can't help it, if something is really funny I scream and laugh calm down and repeat. About 4 times! If I simply can't be loud then my laugh is completely silent which usually results in my curled up on the floor shaking violently from laughter. They are equally as embarrassing! Anyway, I have to think of a name for new Bosslady. I'll have one by Tuesday.

Tomorrow I'll be at another health fair right by my house which means I'll be home by 2:30 on Friday woot woot! Start the long weekend out right :)

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


I had to go to Hagerstown for work today so I haven't been around. We picked up my moms cousin from the train station (the one that had the twin sister die last month). She's about 60 and has an adopted 2 year old boy. They've been here an hour and it has prompted me to make this public service announcement.

Dear Parents,

When you are putting your child with other people, especially childless people, it is vitally important that YOU remember a car seat! Lady that left your child last week, how did you forget to give us a car seat? Cousin that just rode the train down here 3 hours, how did you not bring a car seat? Do they not use them in New York? Also please remember to bring YOUR child some toys! If you know you have a 2 year old boy why would you leave for a 5 day trip with not one thing for him to play with? Ummm it's not appropriate for him to keep on playing with the sliding glass doors, you could have bought him an action figure or something! One more thing. I'll beat your child if you won't!Got that? If he touches it again I'm popping his hand. And I'll keep on popping it until he learns not to touch it. Thank you. That is all.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Movin' on up!

Last weekend Mama & Papa TM came along with the Count and I to go check out our future neighborhood after dark. That is the BIGGEST regret I had about the last apartment I lived in (the one that lasted 2 weeks- I blogged about it but can't find it to link it). Had I gone after dark I never would have moved there. I'm sorry but I can't do the whole neighborhood out all night, and half the neighborhood getting arrested in one swoop. Nope! TM does not need to be there :) I also didn't want it to be like last time where my second day there every dude not only knew my name (I didn't tell it to any of them) but decided that instead of Therapeutic they had the right to call me Thera, y'all don't know me like that! -when I was moving out, random dude #26156451 was hollering across the street "aww Thera, don't leave us. We got your back, it'll be ok" Dude-who are you?

Anyway as we walked around the neighborhood there were only 2 people outside and both of them were on the phone, I know how that is, my neighbors across the street now go outside to talk on the phone (although as loud as they are they only end up telling more people their business). I was very happy! There was also plenty of parking which was a concern of mine because I can't just be circling the lot all day (had to do that in school and it wasn't cool). Also there is a gas station, safeway, day spa and some other things right down the street! Like walking distance :) Yayyyy that means the count can go fill up my car for me when he gets home, or before work. As we were walking we saw people on the ground floor with their blinds wide open watching huge flat screens.

Count: Well it must be pretty safe around here

MamaTM: Why you say that?

Count: Cuz these fools just advertising what they have, and their window faces a main road! Try that mess in our neighborhood now and when you get home from work, trust, your tv won't be there!

Me: Ohhhh you think we should steal her tv?

MamaTM: you make me sad when you say things like that

Me and Count: Hahahahahahaha! ( I really do talk about stealing a lot. A whoolllleeeee lot, but I've never stolen anything. I promise!)

But people were just bold with how they let you see in the house. Which I guess is a good thing, cuz I surely enjoyed looking in their windows. Count and I did the details of our budget last night. You want to spend $15 a day on food? There's 2 of us, that $900 a month for groceries! Dude, I like to eat but not that darn much. You better take your tail down to that Safeway and catch some sales! After we worked out grocery budgets, tv, internet, phones, school loans, entertainment, the list goes on and on we then filled out the paperwork, which he is supposed to take up to the place today or tomorrow. I am one of those over planning types. I need to evaluate the worse case scenario. Have it all written out, that way I know what to expect. I don't deal well with surprises. Especially money surprises! I want to move him in the apartment on the 13th. That gives us some time to get ready. There should be a lot of good Labor day sales this weekend, so if you see some, please pass the info this way, y'all know all we have is a mattress (that he can't have until I move in, in October, so ughhh, I guess we need an air mattress for him until then)!

Oh and my cousin said we could have a lovely leather love seat. She's uppity so I knew it would be nice, lol. Prayerfully more people will just so happen to have extra furniture around!

This story is still hilarious to me. I randomly remembered it today. Skip down to the bottom 3 paragraphs.

Monday, August 25, 2008

The Conclusion of the Bosslady Chronicles

As I'm sitting at my desk on Friday taking out my braids* I see my old officemate run up to my door, jerk it open and slam it behind her:

Officemate: "Bosslady just got fired," she exclaimed!
Me: "Whhattttttttttttt," I cried loudly.
Officemate: "The receptionist just told me, apparently they are letting people go today."
At this precise moment the director of our department knocks on the door
Director: "I need to talk to you 2."
Me: "Ohhh your dress is so pretty."
Director: "Thank you. I forgot to call you 2 into my office earlier. Have you heard the news today?"
At this moment current officemate opens the door, sees Director in there and freezes.
Current Officemate: "Should I leave back out?"
Director: " No, it's fine come in. As you know I had to let Bosslady go today. Many factors played into the decision, like client satisfaction and retention. How good of a job they were doing and whether or not somebody else could do it better. There will be more cuts on Monday so don't say anything."
Seeing the instant fear in all of our eyes, she continues,"Oh, but you guys are fine! Don't worry this is the last of the cuts, I'm going home now, this has been a tiring day. But your jobs are safe, don't worry."

She leaves the room and we all stare bug eyed. She mentioned the names of the other managers that got the axe and of course we had to discuss them. My friend and black-man-brother Superhero came in at that moment. Both of his bosses got cut. He was like ummmm "what do I do now?" The rest of the day no work got done. Everybody was walking around talking about the news wondering if the other offices were having such an eventful day (they were, the stories are very sad). About an hour or so later my phone rings:

Bosslady: "Hey honey, how are you?"
Me: "I'm fine," is all I say because what do you say in this situation?
Bosslady: "Did you hear what happened?"
Me: "Yes ma'am, Director just came in and told me."
Bosslady: "I'm sorry I didn't come in and say goodbye, I just couldn't. They were very diplomatic they came in and talked to me and then let Bosslady's Friend come in and talk to me afterward. I took the back way out."
Me: "That's understandable."

She went on and asked me to pack up her things for her and called out a list of her belongings. I felt so weird in "her" office packing up her stuff. Y'all was I wrong for taking her heater for myself? Superhero was like, "oh the heater isn't hers." I turned to him and said, "duhhhhh this is going to my office!" That was the laugh of the day! I found some great supplies, cuz hey, she won't be using them!

Seriously though, I am sad that the Bosslady Chronicles have to end this way. I actually liked Bosslady when she wasn't yelling at me in front of company. I'm sure there will be many interesting stories in the days to come. I'll have to wait until I get home to post them, because I'm no fool!**

*Don't worry I wasn't yanking out weave in the office. I was unbraiding the hair in the ponytail. By the end of the day I had a huge crinkly pony tail. Would you believe they kept telling me it was cute?

**I typed this Friday night and am going to post Monday morning from my phone. You never know who's watching, and a sista needs her job, I's gettin married soon!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Whatchu know about Chico's?

Another Double post Friday!

Yesterday I had to go to Salisbury to do a health fair for work. Since my mom is still shopping for her mother of the bride dress (see post below) she decided to ride out there with me. So I show up at 9am because bosslady told me it started at 10 and I needed to be an hour early. I was the only fool there! Why? Because #1, it only takes 5 minutes to set up a table and #2 an email went out last week changing the fair time from 10-2 to 11-3:30. I was pissed! I know bosslady got that darn email! Anyway, the fair went well, I had a lot of fun. On the 2 1/2 hour trip back home MamaTM and I stopped at the outlets because she didn't find any good stores in Salisbury. Oh my goodness we were mad women running through those stores! Oh the sales :)

First we went in BCBC because of course, that is my favorite store. As I began grabbing things MamaTM decided we should come do that store last. We went next door to WhiteHouseBlackMarket to get our Michelle Obama on and would you believe all their pants were on sale for $19.99 and shirts for $29.99! Say what now? I went to this rack and there were 2 pairs of brown pants. One in TM's size and one in MamaTM's size. I grabbed those for us and my turned to my mom who had a pair of white pants in her hands for us. It was great! So now we have 2 of the same pair and I kept running around telling her "we're like twins almost" because that's what my sister and I used to always say when we liked the same clothes. We got those and the next great find came in Nine West. I got 2 new pairs of shoes a cute pair of low heels and some dazzling 4 inch heels. In Dress Barn I tried to assault MamaTM because she was picking up some ugly clothes! I made her get dressed and leave the store to continue on our deals of the century trip. MamaTM went into Chico's because I kept telling her that's where Michael Phelps' mom shopped (not sure if it's true by MamaTM loves all things Mike so she went). I'm standing waiting for her not really looking around because, well, it's Chico's. The saleslady comes and asks if I'm finding anything and I was like oh, I'm just waiting for her. Saleslady looks at me and declares "I have the perfect outfit for you! Ohhh but you're teeny, you probably need a size 1." Mama TM hears this obviously delusional woman's statement and tells me to turn around so she can see my rear! Apparently Chico's has developed their own sizing because my mom was a size 2.5! I was like ohhh wowwww I never thought I would have any clothing with numbers this low. If you're ever feeling fat, head over to Chico's and put on a size 1 or 2 or 3, heck any of those numbers will make you feel good! We each ended up with 2 pairs of linen pants out of there (I'm pretty sure we bought the same thing again). We head back over to BCBG to finish out our little 2 hour shopping trip and we end up with 4 dresses. MamaTM was dancing around the dressing room (we were in the same one) talking about how cute she was and the sales lady was like, oh try this and through it over and my mom was loving that too! BCBG dresses for $29????? Can't say no to that! I got a white dress with tan trim to wear to the rehearsal dinner and on the honeymoon. I tried to convince my mom to buy me a $230 bag. It was huge like a diaper bag, I was in the corner whining "please mommy, I'll have a baby next year if you get it for me!" She almost considered it until she realized that there was no guarantee. She was like you're gonna be looking at me next year talking about "I don't know why we can't get pregnant mom, maybe because I'm still on birth control, or maybe because the count uses condoms, either way, thanks for the bag!" The sales people were cracking up and she was soooo right! I aint selling my uterus for no $230 bag!

Wedding Wednesday: Friday Edition

Mama TM and Mama Count went out on Tuesday to shop for their dresses for the wedding. Mama Count didn't find anything but my mom came back in with 2 dresses. I went into her room to watch her try them on and I had my sister on the webcam so she could see too. The first one was very pretty but needed a few alterations, it was a nice light gold color. The second dress was a little bit more silver and when my mom stood in front of the computer to show my sister my sister screamed out "If you don't take that aluminum foil off of your body and take that mess back to the store!" We were screaming laughing. It was so unexpected, I didn't think the dress was that bad, but it's going back tomorrow. Mama TM also made Mama Count cut down her list of guests. MamaC was trippin with all those people she wanted to invite, yet she isn't putting in any money. She was cool about it and trimmed down the list so now some people I actually know will get to attend the wedding.

My dad owns a catering business with his cousin. On Sunday this woman comes up to cousin while my mom was talking to him and asks if they can cater her daughters wedding in October. This is how the convo played out:

MamaTM: Oh what day in October?
Lady: the 11th
MamaTM: Oh! That's when my daughter is getting married, what made you guys pick that date?
Lady: well she picked it
Cousin: Well we're doing Thera's wedding that day
Lady: we wouldn't need yall to do much just.....
MamaTM: Sorry they are booked
Lady: well, you know my daughters in the hospital. We almost lost her, we didn't know if she was going to make it for a while there
MamaTM: maybe you should postpone the wedding then....
Cousin: (cutting my mama off cuz he saw where this was going) Well maybe you could use "my mom's best friend that is also a caterer"
MamaTM: oops! sorry, we booked her too

When my mom told us this story on Sunday we couldn't figure out why the lady felt the need to bring up the fact that her daughter almost died. Andddd???? I mean I'm sorry but does that now make her wedding more important? I wish my daddy would be cooking for somebody else when I'm having a reception for 250ppl. Attention over here: TM has that church on lock lady, you need to change her date, all resources and people have been committed to me!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

A bunch of nothing

Why did I just go in the kitchen to warm up my snack and I see this lady putting out sandwiches I turn around for 2 seconds and turn back around to see every black employee and intern under 25 swarming her for food! Ya'll did they put out a memo? It was like 10 people in the ktichen all of them black and all of them way too excited about some sandwiches!

I went to the cleaners yesterday to pick up my pants. I paid turned around and walked right out without my clothes! Oh lord, I must have been some kind of tired.

My mom laughed me out yesterday when I told her I wanted to be a pole vaulter for the next olympics. It could happen hater!

I haven't mentioned it before but I looooveeeeee watching the olympics. I jump I scream I stay up way to late. It's great :)

Bosslady has been extraextra sweet lately. Yesterday she was in her office but not answering calls or emails. What the heck is going on? My officemate said something is going on so I'm going to make sure I'm on point because I aint going no where!

I'm going shoe shopping!!!!! I keep breaking the left heel of my shoes. When I stand I put all the weight on one leg and looking at my shoes you can definately tell :( So what are your favorite dress shoe brands? If they make your feet hurt I don't want to know about them, keep that pain to yourself!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Let them eat crab balls!

My tummy hurts and it makes me sad :(

I did have a great weekend though! Apartment hunting went very well. There were a few places that when we pulled up we looked at each other and said "next!" and pulled right off. Some places we went in and were looking at each other like "now you know this aint gonna work" and quickly kept it moving. The place that I liked a lot on line was one where we were looking at each other saying "this is a divorce waiting to happen." The closet was about 1/4 the size of mine now, and I'm already bursting out of that one, so where would The Count put his clothes, the patio storage closet? And to pile worse onto bad it was a basement apartment that came fully equipped with crickets. NO GO! **funny cricket story--I have pet Geckos, Kimmy and Clint named after Kimberly Elise (my favorite actress) and Clint Eastwood (don't remember why The Count picked that). Kimmy and Clint now live with The Count because I never fed them, why? I am terrified of crickets and they eat crickets. I used to keep them in my bedroom. One day I got wire tank extender so they could climb up and enjoy life more. I was in bed one night, I looked up and saw a cricket had gotten out of the tank. I was terrified! An hour later my mom found me on the couch sobbing. First question: who died? I told her nobody. Second question: Did you and Count break up? I told her no. Last question: What's wrong? I told her a cricket was loose in my room. She looked at me like the worlds biggest fool, but she went back there assured me she killed it and told me to go back to bed. Did I mention I was 20?**
Needless to say the no closet cricket infested apartment was not for us, but to add even worse to worse and bad the upstairs neighbors were jamming to some music and jumping up and down (probably killing crickets). And this was at noon on Saturday. Imagine how they get down at night!? We found a place we like though, still deciding if we are going to move forward.

Saturday night we spent 8 hours doing invitations and only got halfway through! I had a sweatshop set up in the basement and I paid my 4 workers in crab balls and chicken ka-bobs. It was great, but by 3am even I had to agree that it was time to close shop.

Sunday we went to the dress fitting. It fit perfectly! I was feeling so beautiful and dancing around, until I got stuck with on of the needles still in the dress, lol. Then I calmed my happy but down and stood there and basked in the compliments. "Oh you look stunning!" "That dress is perfect for you." My mom was looking at them like please stop filling her head with this garbage. It was great fun!

We went to the National Harbor after that to view the hotel and activities for out of town guests. My friend screamed at me when I suggested we eat ice cream after lunch.

Me: Ummm, ice cream, let's get some
Friend: You can't have that! You haven't been watching what you eat?
Me: Yes I see it, I get it, I eat it, and it's gooooodddddddd
Friend: You're going to be too fat
Me: I need to maintain the same weight, so I need to eat the same way. If I eat less I'll lose weight and the dress will be to big and it will fall and expose my boobies. In fact when under stress you loose weight, and weddings are stressful, so I need to eat more food to make up for that. So lets get ice cream and a cookie!
Mom: Please stop talking to her before she makes us eat lunch again!

Soooo, what did you do this weekend?

Friday, August 15, 2008

Hmmm, what now?

Yeah, it's a double post Friday. Mostly because I've run out of things to do and it's not even 3 full hours into the day yet. Bosslady is out of town at her family reunion yet she keeps calling me. At 8:10 she called. Thank God I was on time today! Had the computer on and everything. Can somebody say raise????

I had 2 inappropriate conversations with my parents this week. My mom is throwing me a surprise bridal shower because she got tired of my ideas. I was talking to her while waiting on the train:
Mom: "so if we throw you a shower are you actually going to talk to people and participate or are you going to sit their like you're scared of your shadow"
Me: "I'll talk, I might even play a game, but don't count on that one"
Mom: "ok, so what size are you?"
Me: "Huh? In what?"
Mom: "in lingerie girl, people want to buy you stuff"
Me: after much nervous giggling I tell her
Mom: "ok, so what do you prefer, the gowns, or little shorts and panties? What does The Count like you to wear?"
Me: "umm, he like shorts and stuff and I like the nightgown type stuff."
Mom: "ok, do you want naughty gifts too?"
Me: "ummm, I'll probably just laugh uncontrollably,"
Mom: "when you get it or when you use it?"
Me: "Maaaaaa"

I can't take it! I'm too much of a prude for this, lol. I'll probably be all embarrassed at the reception because everybody will know we are going to do it! I don't know why I refuse to discuss all things sexual while everybody else is just as free as can be!

This morning as I was riding to work with my dad:
Dad: "Thera, have you seen Michael Phelps' body?"
Me: "yeah"
Dad: "Isn't it amazing? It's just a sight to behold"
Me: in the voice of Riley from the Boondocks "ewww nikka you gay!" (I didn't really say that, I did however give an uncomfortable laugh and go back to looking out the window).

Did a memo go out that it was worker skip day? I know it's Friday and all, but geez, the metro was empty, the shuttle was empty, this office is empty. And I am ready for bed! Aside from blog hopping and actual work, what do you do to pass the time during the work day?

Free Sampson! and other fair fun

Last night was so much fun! Seriously, you guys have no idea. The Count and I were joined by my childhood best friend who didn't talk to me for about 2 years when she decided to come out as gay, then we mended the friendship a couple of months ago but yesterday was the first time she came to the house in years but I had to put her out of my room because she smelled like smoke and I don't play that! That's too long of a nickname so let's condense that to bestie (lol, like best friend). So we get to the fair around 8ish. Already we spot people that clearly got a different memo than we did. Misslady right there in the stilettos--yes you. This is an agricultural fair. Meaning outside. On gravel. And grass. And it rained, no stormed today. Which means there are puddles and mud. In case you were wondering, yes you look stupid trying to walk in those. On to more exciting things. We walked around looking at all the food choices before making a decision on what to eat. I'll post what we ate as a group because there is no need to embarrass myself with the gluttony that took place:
*Italian Sausage
*French Fries
*Corn Dog
*BBQ dinner
*Funnel Cake
*And somebody snuck off and bought 2 candy apples and 2 caramel apples and began running around like a maniac when her fiance demanded to see what was in her bag. This same person also tried to buy 4 ears of roasted corn and her stupid bestie dragged her out of the fair claiming she would be sick if she put anything else in her belly.

We didn't actually ride anything but we did go and look at the animals, see a monster truck get stuck on top of a van, dance to the music, take pictures in the photo booth, and harass random strangers when we saw them eating something different (like crab dawgs). The Count and I don't need to hang out with Bestie anymore, though. She encourages our foolishness. I threatened to poke his eyes out and he threatened to throw me in traffic, meanwhile she jumping up and down chanting "I love it, I love it, fight, fight, fight" and a 10 year old boy is staring at us in horror scared he will have to testify to the police. "Sorry little boy, this is all just an act, remember, violence is not the answer." The Count broke the straw for my souvenir lemonade cup. The look I gave him made the worker handing me my fries jump back. It was so funny. He apologized for the count, that's how evil I looked.

When we left the fair even more fun happened. There was construction and multiple accidents on 270. We got through the construction and everybody was flying along and then traffic jsut stopped abruptly. It just happened a few minutes prior so we were only like 20 cars back and the police blocked off the entire road so no traffic could get through. So we turned on Chrisette Michelle, turned off the car, and begin talking to strangers. It was great!
Me: Hey mr. truck man, you're up high, what happened?
Truckman: Man about 5 or 6 cars are all over the d--n road. My buddy said we were getting by, but now the police done blocked the whole d--n road off.
Me: ok, thanks mr. truck man

Then he kept talking to us about our plans for the evening (it was almost 11) I told him about the fair. He denied seeing it. I was like, look it's right there! Silly old man! How did you miss all those lights? He was talking to us about how his truck had 2 beds, instead of just the 1. It was funny. Everybody was out of their cars making friends. I had to tell this lovely little white girl to not bend over and talk to boys in their cars with those little shorts on. It made her appear fast, which I'm sure she was. When we finally got to start moving people were running back to their cars. It was great! Fun times had by all.

At the fair their was a giant 2,700 pound horse named Sampson. This horse was freakishly big! The place they had him stored in was no bigger than my bedroom. And it was tented. He looked so sad. We think he was sedated because a horse that big can do some major damage if he ever got upset. I tried to talk to him and cheer him up, but it didn't work. So when I got out I began a chant to free Sampson. While we were in traffic I asked if I could get out and go talk to the other cars about starting a free Sampson the horse group. The Count and bestie told me no. I just may sneak back up to that fair and set that horse free because that broke my heart. I was begging people not to take their children in to see the horse or the animal freak show. It's just not right gawking at 2 headed raccoons and 5 legged goats. I think I'll free all the freak animals. If you see it on the news this weekend, don't be surprised.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

How random is this?

~I'm going to the fair tonight! I'm so excited, I love fairs, carnivals, pumpkin patches, picnics....basically all things that serve cool food! I've been planning in my mind the plan of action. First something like a sausage thing or something cool, unhealthy, and fried! Then some funnel cake. Then maybe another cool snack. And finish it off with caramel and candy apples to go! Ohhhh yeaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm pretty sure I'll be running from the count trying to order my food before he can tell me no! We do that a lot in public, I'll sneak off to do something but I always get caught. Normally if I start singing loudly I get away with it because he wants me to shut up! Oh pizza!!!!!!! Add that to the list of fair foods. And popcorn!

Update: This is the list of foods they are having oh boy!!!!!!: Food - Barbeque, Gyros, Pizza, Grilled Cheese, Roasted Corn, Italian Sausage & Peppers, Latin Food, International Asian Cuisine, Crab Dawgs, Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Taco Salad, Curds, Funnel Cakes, Snow Cones, Soft Pretzels, Roasted Nuts, French Fries, Kettle Corn, Dippin' Dots, Fudge, Cotton Candy, Root Beer Floats, Specialty Apples, Smoothies, Italian Ice, Deep Fried Oreos, Milkshakes, Hand dipped ice cream, Green Mountain Coffees.* Golden Bull Grand Cafe will be in the "Air Conditioned" Dining Hall located in the Heritage Building.

~My dress fitting is on Sunday. It's the first time anybody other than my momma will see it. I'm excited. Nobody from his family is invited though. They have too many opinions and I probably won't want to hear them, lol. They haven't learned yet that if you say I have to do something, there is a good chance I won't do it just to prove you wrong!

~Bible study was crazy good last night. It was the graduation for the Ministry Training School. Very good word from 4 different people. Had me on my feet! Of course my shoes were off because my feet hurt like heck....people probably hate sitting by me, I always take my shoes off in church, I need to be able to move! Ohhhh, but at the end this dude from another church got up to speak before we did the offering and he said some things that were just not right. The church got dead silent! I felt so bad for him. People were looking at him like ummmm dude what are you talking about. He better be glad the Pastors already went to the back or they would have had to bring some correction right then....I can't wait to see what they say on Sunday. One of the crazy things he said: "you can't beat the devil, since you are made out of dust he will pound your flesh back into dust and then eat you." WHATTTTTT? I was sitting behind some of the elders and this old man looked up and said "say what now? who is this man and what is he talking about?" Too funny!

~The count still had on his work clothes yesterday at church. I told him he looked like he was supposed to be white. Apparently that wasn't the right thing to say. It was even more wrong to say when I told his friend who agreed and we laughed him out together. To make it worse this other dude was like, what are you? The milkman? I was screaming laughing (still am)!!! It's not our fault you are the only black dude on the job and this is what you wear: A light blue short sleeve button up shirt with the company's logo on it, khaki shorts, socks (white I think), and those ugly dark brown work boots. To top it off, Count had the nerve to put his Deacon Count badge on too! Oh my goodness, the laughter will never end off this one, I'm going to try and sneak a picture one day.

~Yesterday I found a secret (well secret to me) hallway on the first floor. I was excited because I thought I was going to find that oh so elusive gym everybody keeps talking about. No go! I did find the fed ex room and the kitchen for the thai restaurant though.

~I hate it when people hear one side of a phone conversation and assume they know what's going on. Last night I was in my room talking to the count before bed. I was hollering in the phone things like: "it doesn't matter what you want, I said we were going to the fair! Let you not show up and see what happens. I will body slam you...I will take your name of the wedding invitations if you don't come on Saturday to put them together." I said many other crazy things. My dad was like don't talk to a man like that. Let me tell you what the count was doing on the other end: Hysterically laughing at me and singing! "You can't make me do nuffinnnnnn...what chu gonna do if I don't show up? I'm going to leave you waiting at the Metro again...hahahaha you aint going to the fair....if you leave my name of the invitations people will just talk about you more, that's why they don't like youuuuuuuu." I was like daddy listen to this fool and then he understood. We are just playing. Mind your business!

~Mom get mad at me yesterday and walked away as I was talking. Ughh, I don't entertain foolishness so I just went down to my room. This morning she called me and was like are you mad at me. I told her no, she walked off so I went to bed. We had a nice heart to heart because she had a nightmare that we got in a screaming match over invitations. So not my style ma! I'll elope before I start hollering about some paper!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Wedding Wednesday

I went to a vow renewal ceremony on Saturday. It was beautiful! 20 years of marriage, it made my heart happy. That Sunday they had a cookout at their house. He sang Some Enchanted Evening to his wife. Toward the end of the song he approached her and held her and danced as he sang. My chin was shaking, lips quivering, eyes full of tears, but I did not make the ugly cry face! My mom was so proud :) It was a very touching moment, tears were flowing all around!

At the reception Saturday I got in a debate with one of my mom's friends. She has been around me since I was little so I don't know why she thought she could reason with me:

Lady: Remember baby, this is your day, do what you want
Me: I know! That's why I'm wearing slipper socks at the reception
Lady: Umm, no you're not. What about changing into low heels?
Me: What about slipper socks?
Lady: You are not doing that. I will buy you some low heels. You'll be mad when the photographer gets a picture of those socks.
Me: Mad? I'm posing in pictures sticking my feet out! They'll be the wedding colors.
OtherLady: What about ballet flats?
Lady: Yes, some pretty satin ones.
Me: You must not be able to hear me, just for that, now they will now be mismatch slipper socks.
Mom: You know this will only get worse if you guys keep on. Shut up before she just shows up in her panties!

I was cracking up, why do people continue to tell me what I have to do? I'm actually known for my mismatch socks. The Count and my mom went out and bought me 4 packs of identical black socks because they thought it was ridiculous for somebody in their 20's to still be wearing the socks I had on. When I leave for work my mom will sneak in my room and match my socks up, because if she doesn't there is a good chance I'll have on a pink sock with stars and a pink sock with monkeys. They are both pink, so at least it's a common theme. The Count's nieces and nephews used to come up to me, tap me, and whisper "umm your socks don't match." Hahaha it only made me do it more!

This weekend some of the bridal party is coming over to do the invitations. When I told them my plans they looked at me like I was stupid, stamps, embossing, ribbons, cutting, gluing. I told them my mom and I are trying to take over Martha Stewart's empire! I'll post some pictures of our creations next week. If anybody has some cool ideas that I could try let me know! The wedding is 58 days away and I'm still chilling like it's not crunch time. I won't even tell you that I haven't had one hair consultation........

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Congrats Baby!

The Count started his new job yesterday! Yayyyyyyyyyy insert happy dance! He loves it already! It's so funny because people kept asking me what he was going to be doing and I was like I don't know. Then I had to hear the speeches on how I should take an interest in my man and blahblahblah. I was like ummm guys, I don't know because he doesn't know. That's the funny thing about both of us, we just show up! Don't know any details, just show up with a great expectation! Well as I saw my baby yesterday with those ugly dark brown work boots and that monogrammed L.L. Bean book bag he looked just like an environmentalist! First he was excited when he saw his name plate outside of his cubicle. Then he saw how huge his cube was and got more excited, then he got his work cell phone and his laptop, couldn't tell that boy nothing. Ya'll when he found out he was going to be traveling???????? Lord have mercy I almost had to shoot his big head out of the sky!!!!! He always wanted a job that allowed him to travel. I was happy too. I was making plans for what I would do when he leaves, lol, even though it won't be until after his 90 day probation. I'm fixing dinner talking 'bout "ohhhh I'm going to go spend the night over my mova house, and Ima hang out with the girls, and turn cartwheels, dance on the tables, watch Disney and Nickelodeon all week without somebody whining in my ear, eat in bed, ohhhhh hook up an electric griddle next to the bed and cook in bed....." My mom was just shaking her head laughing at us, and my dad was looking at me like "you not coming back to this house!" The Count was like "you do all of that now! Well, except for cooking in bed because that is extremely fat!" I wonder why nobody else thinks it's as fun as I do? I tried to hook up a microwave under my bed and my looked at me like she was about to jab me in the eye. Well I'm having slumber parties when The Count leaves for his trips, everybody is invited! On that note, we have a list of about 6 places to look at Saturday. 3 of them have been recommended by friends of ours that live there. I think it would be nice to live near somebody we know because they can check in on me when the count leaves, because I scare very, very, easily! I'm still open to suggestion in Laurel/Columbia area so if you know some, let me know!

Sunday, August 10, 2008


Ok, so a couple of weeks ago I lamented on how tired I was. The oh so lovely Pink tried to subtly suggest that I was pregnant. I still don't think she believes me when I tell her that being pregnant is an impossibility for me right now. Impossible!!!!!! Well I have still been super tired and other things with my body have been a little off (don't want to go into detail and gross you guys out!)
Last week I was late to work every day because I just couldn't get up. Today I missed church again because I just couldn't get out of bed. I was buried under the covers just thinking about all the good stuff I was missing at service because I couldn't move. My mom has been trying to make me go to the doctor but I don't want to for numerous reasons. The first time (toward the end of high school) I went to the doctor about being tired and stuff she spent the whole visit trying to educate me on STD's. That's all fine and good except, 1. I knew all that, and 2. I wasn't even having sex and the fact that she said she didn't believe me when I told her that turned me off to her. The next time I went was in college. This time the doctor focused on my swollen ankles and knees. She made me go to a rheumatologist because she was concerned. The rheumatologist diagnosed me with Lupus. Ok, whatever. I just want to not be tired! When I used to actually go to my follow up appointments she managed to make me mad to so I stopped going. The last visit I went to I told her about the patches of my hair falling out and how I was so tired. Her response "oh you're just probably depressed." Well then doctor lady what should I do??????? It's like why go to the doctor if they aren't going to do anything about it? I could spend that $20 copay on snacks and a fluffy pillow so my time in bed will be more enjoyable.

Today my dad was really concerned that I was once again sleeping and I turned down chocolate chip pancakes because I couldn't get out of bed.

PopaTM: Thera you know stress makes you tired. It gives you headaches, and it changes your eating patterns.
Me: yeah but I'm not really stressed
PopaTM: Have you stepped back and looked at your life? You have a new job, your fiance is starting a new job tomorrow, ya'll are looking for a place to live, and you're getting married in 2 months. Honey, if that's not stressful I don't know what is.
Me: Hmmm, you might be right daddy.

When I look at stress I normally associate it with worry (which I try not to do, I know it will work out) and complaining. But I guess just going through life changes can be stressful on the body without you even realizing it. The thing I am most apprehensive about is the apartment situation. Your home is your castle, ya know? I want the count and I to enjoy where we live not have it being a miserable situation. Well I'm off to take a nap because I'm still freaking tired. I'm sure mamaTM is gonna come down here fussing soon, lol. Oh lawd, and when the count finds out I didn't go to church today (he had to work) he's gonna fuss too! Maybe I should fake an illness to get them off my back. Ughhh to tired to do that!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Mama TM says.....

This post goes right along with yesterday's post....go read it, we'll wait (it's a long one too).

There is a line that my mom hits me with all the time and it always causes an argument. "Alright, keep on having all these expectations and you'll be disappointed. The sooner you learn to accept it, the better your marriage will be. But don't worry honey, I'll be here when you come crying because Count didn't give in to one of your demands." You know that record scratching sound that stops the music? Insert that right here: scrrrrrrraaaaaaaatccccccccccchhhhhhhh. What you say MamaTM??? You betta get outta here! I'm not saying I don't value my moms opinion, because my parents are on their 23rd year of marriage and that is a beautiful thing, but I will say that my mom puts up with some things from my dad that I just would not and do not tolerate. Not saying if everything isn't always sunshine and roses I'm on the first train out of my relationship. But I am saying that as women, we need to have an idea of things that we will and will not tolerate and stick to them. If you look at my family you will see that my dad treats me, my mom, and my sister all differently. Why? Because you teach people how to treat you. If you reinforce certain behaviors, good or bad, they will be repeated. I shared my feelings about my moms statement with one of our premarital counselors and she came back with an even better line "you don't need to change your expectations, you need to learn how to express them, so that he will know what they are and how to meet them." Yall I thought that was the most insightful thing since the Bible! It covers so much and deals with so much of the crap that goes on in relationships. Let me break this simple quote down:
1. Your expectation determines your outcome. If I expect great things from my relationship with the count and work toward them, that is what I'll get. If I have a mentality of oh I want this but he probably won't do it so let me just be quiet, then guess what? It'll will never get done, and I'll be unfulfilled and resentful all because I didn't share with him my expectation.
2. Communication is the key to successful relationships. All of the older wiser couples that have been talking to us about our upcoming marriage keep reiterating that to us. Learning to express yourself properly will lead to not only knowing what each other needs but it creates a bond between a couple that can't be broken. If the count is able to express to me what he needs, desires, wants, and is feeling then guess what? There is no place for Bonquisha down the block to try and fulfill a need in his life that I haven't! Why? Because we are working together to get it right.
3. If he isn't trying to meet your expectation then maybe he isn't the one for you! There are things that if I have it my way, I just won't do. My mom gets mad when I say "oh no, sorry, TM doesn't do that." When I say she gets mad, ya'll she will stop talking to me or even coming near me when I say stuff like that! But it's like seriously mom, I believe that is a job for a man, and since both of us have men, why are we here doing it? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I can't do it, or if something, God forbid, should happen to count I wouldn't be able to suck it up and get down to doing all the things that I hate. But what I am saying is that just as husbands expect wives to cook and clean wives should expect husbands to do things too.

On Mother's Day, you know the day you honor your wife/girlfriend/jumpoff because she is the mother of your children? The day children show extra love toward the woman who birthed them...guess what mom and I were doing? Cleaning off the back of pickup truck that my dad borrowed to help carry supplies to a catering job (for a catering business he started without even consulting his wife, another story, another day). I'm all for helping out and supporting your man but it was a truck that is used for construction so the stuff on the back of it was 1. dirty, 2. heavy, 3. extra funky! Some things I couldn't even pick up! After a while I was off in the corner dry heaving because it smelled just that bad. Ya'll it was mother's day!!!!!!!! Where was my daddy? Ughhhhh in the house sitting down. Oh I was sooooooo mad, I was talking big trash outside and my mom's response was "let's just do it to help him out and then we'll go shopping to make ourselves feel better." My response "let's not do it, it will help him out more because he'll man up, and still go shopping because it's mother's day!"
I know if the count was there neither my mom nor I would have been dealing with that foolishness. This is one of the expectations I have of my fiance (it's ok if you don't mind the hard labor stuff--that's you, not me), he is aware of it, and I can't tell you the last time I had to struggle to do something in his presence. I have no problem helping, but when a man decides he should sit back and relax while women folk do stuff he should/could be doing, I have a problem. We won't even get into the time my dad was refusing to cut the grass so my mom did it and then got ran over by the lawn mower! Her whole right leg was bruised. Did I mention it was a huge riding lawn mower? Seeeeeee, that's what I'm talking bout. Foolishness because instead of telling them what you expect from them, you accept their crap and only hurt yourself in the process.

Dag, I talk to much! I had something else to say but this is way too long. I'll be back tomorrow. It's ok if you agree with my momma, talk about it, I'm all about hearing various opinions, maybe it will help me see her side. I doubt it, but hey, it's worth a try!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

SisterCount says.....

Alright everybody, let’s do as Jamila suggested yesterday and get our cookies and tea and talk about this line: "See TM, you expect to much from men, they can only do but so much."

And to this line I say bullcrap! This is how the whole situation went down:

The Count and I were riding down to the family reunion with his cousin. His cousin is around 28 I think, has his masters, a good job, and a 1 year old daughter. He is not with his daughter’s mother since she was just a jump off that he got pregnant while he had a girlfriend. Now said cousin, let’s address him as CousinNoClue was bringing his daughter down with us to the family reunion so she could spend time with the grandparents. I was riding in the back with the baby. We played for a while and then both went to sleep. I woke up and realized 1. There was no air on in the car, while it wasn't too hot, the baby and I were definitely sweating and 2. This baby had not eaten or been changed since at least 5am. It was approaching noon! I was starving so I knew the baby was hungry. I started munching on chips and cookies but I took out a bag of grapes and started biting them in half to give to the baby. Her dad never even attempted to feed the child or suggest we stop. We finally get to the house and I go to take babygirl out of the carseat and what do I discover? She is soaking wet, he diaper has leaked. I hand her to her father so he can go in and change her diaper and clothes. What does CousinNoClue proceed to do? Put the diaper on wrong, and not take out a new set of clothes! We are about to go out in public why the heck do you think it would be acceptable to have your child out there in a t-shirt and diaper? I laid babygirl back down and was showing him how to properly fit a diaper to her body and do you know what this dude says? “Well it’s only like my 7th time changing her, I didn’t know.” Whatttt????? She is about to be 1! That’s not even averaging 1 diaper a month, what the heck, do you even see this child on a regular basis? He proceeded to do some more trifling stuff like throw the diaper out the car window even though we left a house that came fully equipped with trash cans-but we won’t go there. Now it’s about 2 in the afternoon and do you know he has not attempted to feed this child yet!? I mean my grapes can only go so far. Fast forward to about 7/8 o’clock (we fed the baby, and by we, I don't mean her daddy) and we are leaving the family reunion at the hotel. I haven’t been with him or the baby in the last few hours so I go up and remind him to change her. He informs me that he just did. I give him the ‘head tilted, pursed lips, side eye’ and ask “when?” and this trifling dude tells me "before we got here!" As in 6 hours ago!???? That’s when I let him have it. I’m sorry but this is not acceptable. I’m standing off in a corner with him reading him the riot act on what you do with a child and other helpful hints like perhaps not using the n-word around a baby learning to speak because when she starts saying it you’ll be mad.

During this same time at the hotel I look up and see The Count’s sisters (sistercount) baby’s dad. Now sistercount has her daughter there, but I did not expect to see the dad there, because they are so not together. It turns out he was just there for business, but you wanna know something? This dude didn’t even take his daughter out! He had time to attempt to take sistercount out for drinks, but not time to take his daughter out? This dude also does not pay child support, and only see’s his daughter on Sunday afternoons. That’s a big oh noooooooo from me!

Well sistercount heard what I said to CousinNoClue and saw how I was looking at baby’s dad and came over to talk to me. This is how it went:

Me: “See, oh no, I would stab the count in the eye if he acted like either one of those dudes. He slipped up and said the n-word in front of the baby and immediately turned and apologized, he knew he was dead wrong.”
SisterCount: “yeah I don’t like that either kid’s are parrots”
We keep talking about various situations and then she pulls the line
SisterCount: "See TM, you expect to much from men, they can only do but so much."
and I started reading the riot act again, lol. “what?? No you don’t expect enough! They do what you allow them to get away with. If you expect nothing you get nothing. Watch how your brother and I interact, if I don’t like something, I express it and we get the problem fixed. Men are not stupid, it’s comments like that that contribute to the problem of all these dead beat dads. Yes I expect the count to be involved in our children's lives and I won't be hovering over him making sure he does it right. They will be his kids too and he better be just as, if not better at raising them than me........”

At this point the count either heard or saw what was happening and came and scooped me up, lol. I just don’t get it. What would make her think that either situation is an appropriate way for a man to act? This is really long, I’ll talk more about it tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Happy Birthday Sister!

Happy 20th bday Sister!

I had a great weekend with the count at his family reunion. I'm still feeling extra tired and I have some good ideas for upcoming posts but today is not the day I will be writing them! I'm going out for my birthday tonight so I doubt I'll be getting my extra sleep.....maybe Thursday?? Until then here are some snippets of funny conversations over the weekend........

we were on our way to church with the counts grandparents:
Grandma: "see me and grandad been knowing each other ever since the 4th grade...."
Grandad: "and you been talking ever since Virginia. Would you shut up! When you die you aint gonna have nothing to talk about in heaven, you used it all up down here. You aint gonna have no last words you using them right now. Been talking to me for the last 70 years"
Grandma: ".....and I haven't regretted one minute of it....." she kept talking like she never even heard him! In his defense she sure does talk alot! Even when nobody was listening....gotta love grandma!

we were on our way to see the worst movie ever...Mummy....and were trying to fit 4 people in the backseat of a hummer.....
Cousin T: "Well ya'll should fit TM and my wife are teeny they can squeeze anywhere"
Everybody: looks at the other cousin trying to fit in the back seat who is quite large and eating a bag of sunchips
Cousin T's wife: "maybe she could sit in the trunk?"

sitting around at the family reunion waiting to go to the mall:
Aunt D: "what are you TM, about a size 2?"
Me: "umm no, more like a 6 or an 8"
Aunt D: shakes head "I don't know why they keep bringing these skinny ole girls down here" (she wasn't trying to be rude, she just really likes meat on the bones, lol)
The Count: Looks over at cousin sunchips and looks back at me like, that's why!

walking through Express after just buying all sorts of fun things at Macy's
The Count: "babe, do you have a budget in mind for this weekend?"
Me: "of course I do" walking off trying to avoid the conversation
The Count: "well I would be interested in knowing it, so I can help you stick to it"
Me: throws hands in the air, starts waving them and singing and running through express "It's my birthday and I'll buy what I want to Go TM it's your birthday, it's your birthday"
The Count: stares at me wide eyed as I continue to sing and dance out of the store

My post tomorrow or later today depending upon when I get the energy is going to be based on something the Counts sister said to me as we were discussing men and marriage. I want you to think about the line before I put it in the context of our conversation: "See TM, you expect to much from men, they can only do but so much."

Monday, August 4, 2008

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my 23rd birthday!!! Let's all join in and sing happy birthday....ready....go ----

Hmmm, I don't hear anything. Oh well it didn't work at midnight either when I tried to get my sister and the Count to sing to me. Shoot.

Oh and happy 52nd bday to my daddy too!

Oh and happy birthday to Barack! I tell ya, all the best are born today :)

Friday, August 1, 2008


My mind has been going a mile a minute today on stupid stuff. I haven't had one important thought but I still feel the need to share them

1. My birthday is Monday and people (as in the count, mom, dad, and sister) keep asking me what I want and every time I tell them what I want they tell me I shouldn't want it and they won't get it, lol. So let me tell you: a blackberry, a new laptop or somebody pay to fix my old one, my school loans paid off, and clear skin.....can anybody make those things happen?

2. I have been wanting red lobster for the past 3 months. I have no idea why or why I haven't been yet. I drove past it 3 times today while trying to decide on lunch and still never went in.

3. I'm going to N.C. this weekend for the counts family reunion. I love his mom's side of the family. They are the most loving people you will ever meet and they give great hugs!

4. People are still coming up to me apologizing for how I was treated on Wednesday, lol. These people are so nice.

5. August 15 is tour the world day and the count and I will do our first visit to potential apartment complexes.

6. I just got the most unexpected and lovely email from a lady I used to work with. She saw my wedding website and sent me an email telling me how proud she was and how she considered me one of God's angels and wishing me success and blessings in my marriage :)

7. Pink----I know I'm getting married but you are still too grown, lol.

8. Why have I been walking this floor looking for our mail room guy? I just can't track him down.

9. Speaking of finding-I may be the dumbest person on earth when it comes to finding obvious things. When I started at UMBC I went to the library but had to walk out because I couldn't find the books!!!!!! That whole first year I never went back. When the count transferred to UMBC he took me in and showed me the staircase and elevators that led to the books....what a fool I am! In our building at work they say there is a gym on the first floor. Why have I never seen it!?? I walk that floor every single day and I have never seen a gym! People go to it during lunch (I wonder if it's free) or maybe one person made it up and everybody else is just lying saying they are going to the gym and nobody has bothered to check if it even exists (probably not though, lol)

10. Bosslady keeps calling me a picklehead.....hahahahaa And she thought my new shoes were gym shoes, for a second I was like dag are my shoes ugly? Not 5 minutes later somebody came up to me and told me how much they liked my new shoes were because they were interesting....which is my code word for ugly. Oh well, I still like 'em.

11. Speaking of interesting. On Wednesday I wore this pretty purple satin halter. I did my eyshadow to match. It was L'oreal Hip in Wicked....I did a great job! I was 45 minutes late to work because I was making sure I did it right! A few people told me how nice my eye makeup was. I was so very excited because I have been practicing hard. Wanna know how else I know I did well? The next day somebody tried to do it with some pink eyeshadow, however it looked like they took a pink crayon and colored in their creases, lol.

Ok, an hour left! Time to dance around....get ready for the weekend.......happy dance time!

It's not me, it's you

I have an aunt that doesn't like me. It's my mothers sister and she lives 10 minutes from our house so I interact with her pretty often. I was thinking about her this morning because my birthday is coming up and I was bracing myself in case she decided to try and pull one of her stunts. In order to understand this story fully you need to understand 3 facts. My birthday is August 4. So is my fathers, that means we were born on the same day. We celebrate on the same day, August 4. My sisters birthday is August 5. The day after my father and me. Now on to the story........

When I was 15 I dated a white boy. "Who cares?" you ask yourself. My aunt. My racist hating behind auntie, lol. That's when she started not to like me. When I was 17 I dated a boy with a black dad and a white mom. "Who cares?" you ask yourself again, "at least he is half black." Well to my racist hating behind auntie the only thing worse than dating a white dude is dating a half white dude. She would always make snide comments and stuff that I just ignored. She acts like it wasn't a problem and will deny to high heavens that she had no issue with it, it just coincidentally coincided with the time she stopped liking me. She said she didn't like my mixed dude because he was too short for me, he was 2 inches taller than me. It is important to note at this point that my aunt is 6' 3", her last 3 husbands have been 5' 4" or shorter! Her reason for not liking me? She said I'm stuck up and I think I'm better than everybody else and my parents treat me better than they do my sister. Now, I am a lot of things (high-strung, intense, overly emotional, and dramatic) but stuck up I am not! What really gets me is that she loooovveeesssssss my sister and everybody knows that chick is stuck up and mean! Everybody in the family knows my aunt doesn't like me and we make jokes about it so I don't cry over it (anymore, lol) I just accept that it's not me, it's her.
So what does this have to do with my birthdays? Let me tell you bout this chick:

Age 20: When I turned 20 we were celebrating as a family. She called my dad and sang happy birthday on the phone and told him happy birthday. I was with him, I heard it. When she hung up we all waited for her to call my phone. It never happened! The next day she called my sister and sang happy birthday. I was with her, I heard it. 15 minutes later she called me talking about "I am so sorry, I forgot it was your birthday. I just remembered I left you out." Yeahhh okkkkkk- I got no song.

Age 21: My aunt got married on August 5, my sister's bday, so she could make the day extra special, lol. This was her second August 5 wedding.

Age 22: On my 22nd birthday I had a surprise party. My aunt was mad because my sister didn't get a surprise party so she planned a birthday event for just her and my sister. My family was really mad at my aunt because 1. she was planning to take my sister out and since I had no idea about my party I thought she was just leaving me out to be mean (which she was) and 2. my parent's weren't the people throwing the party so why was she taking it out on me. I'm not sure if I posted on this before but on my 22nd bday I had a surprise party because Jonathan planned it because that's how he wanted to propose. My evil aunt was convinced that this was a plot to make my sister feel left out so that's why she wanted to do something special for her. The funny part? My sister didn't even want to go! Instead my sister stayed in the house helping my mom with the decorations and details for my party because she was happy to see her big sister getting engaged. If I could show you guys a picture of my aunt during the party....ughhhhh her old hatin' ass (ya'll know I don't curse but it really is the only way to describe it!)

Age 23: We'll see, lol. She kind of likes me now, but only because she is in love with the count, it really has nothing to do with me!

Oh wait! One more thing. How 'bout she was hating at my college graduation too! My family was soooooo mad at her. We had a graduation/Christmas party since I graduated last December. Why did she show up an hour before the party ended (with no gift cuz she only gives me gifts when she gives my sister one) and never came downstairs to the party. She sat upstairs, in the living room, by herself. If you ever meet my aunt, you will see that that's not her personality at all! We all gave her the stank face for that one. My sister was like oh that's just too much she makes it obvious that she doesn't like you (but she'll never say anything because my aunt sends her money while she's in school, lol)!

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