Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Fear

My ma and I went to get the blinds for Judah's room over the weekend because JC Penny was having a sale. I was about to get the cordless blinds because I didn't want Judah to accidentally strangle himself at some point. The cordless blinds were ugly, they looked cheap, and they cost more than the blinds that would have been perfect for his room. My ma had a talk with me and I got the corded blinds that are perfect and I'll place a command hook on the window frame for the cord.


Judah's room is next to the garage. If somebody wanted to, they could climb on our garage and into Judah's room if I left the window all the way open. I never do. I keep the window locks on which prevents the window from being opened more than 2 inches. When I was a toddler I popped the screen out of my window and was halfway out when my dad walked in the room, saw me, and grabbed me. Just in case Judah turns into a miraculous 4 month old and learns how to climb out of his crib and walk, I never take the window locks off.

My ma is sewing Judah's curtains. I picked a nice canvas type material because it's heavy and reminds me of a safari. She was asking what length I wanted them. I told her I needed to do some research because I wasn't sure if long curtains were a strangulation hazard. 

After hearing that my ma decided she needed to have a serious talk with me about fear. As I was talking to her I started welling up all over again. I try not to be scared, but I'm terrified of something happening to my sweet baby. There have been days that I would randomly burst into tears at the thought and then I would spend time holding Judah and praying for his safety and my peace of mind. I know the spirit of fear is an attack from Satan, so I'm working hard to not let it consume me, but it's been hard for me. I'm going to write out some scriptures and put them up in my bathroom so I can have some peace. At the end of our conversation my ma said "What's that saying? God protects babies and fools. You and Judah are both covered."

p.s. His room is going to be awesomeness times 12. I can't wait to finish! And today I'm trying the cloth diapers again. I'll blog about my cloth diaper rationale and my experience so far tomorrow (or Thursday, y'all know how I do). I also have a video of Judah explaining to me why he shouldn't have to take a nap, my phone said it was too big to send, so I'll have to try another way.

5 comments:

Jameil said...

Awwwww ((hug)) So natural & normal for you to be scared for him! And I'm glad your mom is there to shake you out of it! Two good mommies! Can't wait to see Judah talking!!

RandomBitesOfASweetLife said...

That's great that you are taking extra precautions with your little one. Your mother is funny though...only a mom can get away with saying that...
I had to catch up on some of your pregnancy posts and birth story because I found your blog recently and love it. :)

Adrienne said...

(((HUGS)))
LOL at your mom. That was funny lol. I love reading about you guys :)

Monique said...

I went through and go the same thing with my son and he's 3 now. I read every book and took every precaution I though imaginable. Like you mom said, God protects babies and fools. He will be just fine, honey, just fine.

Nerd Girl said...

I think it's perfectly normal for you to be overly worried about Judah. That's my way of saying I went through the same thing :)

He'll be fine. You'll be fine. Listen to your mom!!

 
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