Beware!

This will be your only warning. Do not invite us to your house, we will not leave! TheCount and I are taking over my parent's house. It's been great :)

Wednesday: Noon
Me: Mommy, we spending the night at your house tonight, ok?
Ma: No! I just cleaned up, y'all are messy
Me: Ok, see you after church.

I got there about 10:30pm, TheCount got their at 11. He parked in the driveway blocked my mama's car in when she was trying to go to Thanksgiving morning service.
Ma: Tell your husband if he has the balls to park in my driveway again, I'll break his neck

Thanksgiving night around 9pm
Me: Ma, you wanna go to the outlets, they are having a pajama jam at midnight!
Ma: Girl please, go home.
Me: Ok, come with me, spend the night at my house since the mall is 2 minutes from my house. TheCount can spend the night with daddy.
Ma: Shut up, just go downstairs and go back to sleep. Get me up at 3:30

Later between my parents:
Ma: You going to work tomorrow?
Dad: Yeah
Ma: Then TheCount will be here by himself
Dad: So, he has a key
Ma: THEY DON'T LIVE HERE AND THAT BOY AINT FAMILY, PARKING IN MY DRIVEWAY LIKE HE CRAZY (btw, she was joking folks)
Dad: Please, them kids here more than we are

Friday:
Daddy: Ummm, y'all only rented this room for one night. Why are you still here? Do I need to give you the extended rates?
Me: No daddy, we are leaving when TheCount gets done at the barbershop

I fall asleep in the bed with my mom watching tv. I wake up 2 hours later and TheCount is beside me, not my mom. At 9:30pm I go upstairs to talk to my mom.
Ma: Y'all getting ready to go?
Me: Yeah

It's midnight and guess where we still are?

I have lots of Thanksgiving pictures and the Black Friday loot to post later!

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

Re: Yesterday's post: Everybody has jokes! LOL

 

Moving On:

 

Since I was on time to work on Monday and Tuesday I decided I could be late today :) Well the fact that I refused to get out of bed because I woke up in the middle of the night with a headache and I needed to make up for that hour of lost sleep. And the fact that we are spending the night at my parents house tonight and they are spending the night at ours on Thursday so I had to make sure the house was spotless and the fact that the right side of my hair which is normally the good side went all crazy on me. All that said, I got here 1 1/2 hours late, it's all good though as soon as I finish this I'm going to get my breakfast and finish the rest of the day by doing nothing.

 

Anyway......It's holiday time! I love Thanksgiving/Christmas time. I get all super cheesy and emotional and I love holiday traditions.

On Thanksgiving morning TheCount goes and plays football with the church. I've been going to but only because a couple of years ago he fractured his leg and kept on playing. Ever since then I've been the girl on the sidelines trying to beat up other players that get too close to my baby. We always go to at least 3 houses to eat, cuz we are greedy like that.

 

My mom, my sister, and I always go shopping on Black Friday. Well my sister won't be coming home this year but TheCount is joining us. He went with us a couple of years ago and he aint been right since, lol. We took him to Wa.l Ma.rt that dude still hates that store to this day! He has nightmares and flashbacks of the people, the lines, oh the horror! I promised him I would never make him do that again. We will probably split up, him and my dad go to Circuit City to get the t.v. and my mom and I go to JCPe.nny, Ma.cy's, Target, Loe.manns (or however you spell it), Ul.ta, Ex.pre.ss, and anything other than that will just be bonus shopping. Those are the stores I must hit.

 

Saturday I plan on slleeepppinnnngggggg till I feel like getting up. Hopefully TheCount will be so worn out he'll keep his early bird behind in the bed too. He always gets up all early talking 'bout "this chick is the most sleepingest girl ever," or "Babe, what you doing?" Duhhhh I'm sleeping get out. When I finally roll out of bed he be on the couch pouting, lol, telling me that I'm not a bear and it is not cool for humans to hibernate. HATERRRRR!  Just cuz you can't enjoy a full 14 hour rest don't get mad at me!

 

What are your plans for Thanksgiving?

 

 

(ohhh are emails aren't working today! You know what that means? Extra no work! Let's all go home!!)

Dear People of the World

The following people owe me an apology:

 

Pink

Pserendipity

MamaTM

PapaTM

TheCount's 2 best friends

 

Why? Cuz I am NOT pregnant! Whooohoooo I so failed that test this morning :) I told y'all I am not having kids for another 3 years. I will continue to take my birth control every day and I will continue to not be pregnant.  Also, between the 6 of y'all somebody better come up with $8 to give me for making me waste my money on that test, lol.  I really am just sensitive to smells, lazy when it's cold, and get sick from doing stupid things like eating an entire pan of cheddar garlic biscuits.

 

On another note, how about TheCount and I got a random check in the mail for $150 yesterday! I was praise dancing all around, lol. Keep it coming :)

 

Now, let the apologizing begin.

TheCount's 23rd Birthday

We had a lovely, lovely day on Saturday :) We woke up around 9ish and I fixed him Cinnamon pancakes and eggs. Then we went up to the movie theatre (we are old, we like to go to the movies early on Saturday's, cheap tickets and no people!). We went to see Role Model. It was funny. There was only about 10 other people in the theatre and they were all old, except the people behind us which were parents who brought their daughter (in college) and son (in high school). It was awkward because I'm sure their kids wanted to laugh at some stuff but didn't want their parent's looking at them sideways, lol. Shoot, I was laughing so hard at some parts but I didn't want all the old people in the theatre to go complain about the loud black girl so I was doing my silent laugh, which only made it worse. I had my head on TheCount's shoulder and I was shaking so hard from laughing. We had fun, it will probably be funnier when we rent it and watch it with our friends. It's always more fun when you have people that crack additional jokes as the movie is on. **Sidestory: We were walking up to the movie theatre ticket box and I saw this older lady walking up from the other direction. I like to do this thing where I race people to a certain point, even though they have no idea we are competing. So I said to TheCount, "hurry up, let's race her, she's trying to beat us." He shook his head (as usual) and was like "baby that woman aint thinking about you." So I'm looking at her and racing and she looks at me, figures out what I'm doing and breaks into a full on run! I am not kidding she had to be at least 60, lol. I was in disbelief and started cracking up. When I got to the ticket counter (behind her) she turned around and mugged on me! TheCount was like, well dag, bet you won't race old folks no more!**

 

So after the movies we went to the mall to get our niece and nephew a birthday present. Limited Too was having a buy 1 get 1 free sale! I was having wayyyy too much fun in there :) After we procured their gifts we went to lunch at That's Amore in Columbia. Service was so-so, I think it was because they were having a banquet on the other side so all the attention went to them. I ordered this pasta with shrimp, scallops, clams, mussels, and calamari. It was good but after a while the smell started getting to me so I had to stop. I haven't been able to make myself eat any of the leftovers. It didn't help that TheCount was making faces at me every time I picked up the baby octopus, yeahhhhhhh I just made myself sick all over again, lol.

 

After lunch we drove all the way from Columbia to Waldorf for the kids' birthday "party". A party it was not! But it was fun. It can't be considered a party if the only people their are your siblings and aunt and uncle, in my opinion. But we played with the kids, watched Muppets From Space (y'all TheCount keeps making me watch that movie and each time he says he's never seen it before, I think he's embarrassed. I've seen that thing at LEAST 4 times with him, lol). After we watched the movie we decided to walk the kids' dog since that poor nappy headed thing hasn't been cared for properly in a long time. The kids all decided they should come with us so TheCount and I bundled up 4 kiddies and went walking around the neighborhood. It was a lot of fun. The kids have been asking to come up to the apartment (there have even been requests to come live with us, another story, another day). So we're trying to find some time for them but it's hard because they live an hour away and every time their mom says she is going to do something, she doesn't. After we left their "party" TheCount's friends took us to Outback ( I need to do some post's about them too). That was fun too, and tasty! After dinner we went and watched 88 minutes. Ughhhh I am not a good thriller movie watcher. I try to kill everybody because I get so frustrated when people act stupid. I kept hollering "just shoot her, come on, kill her, nobody will tell." Anger management was recommended for me, lol.

 

On Sunday we went to church and chilled at my parent's house. My mom decided she wanted to get on facebook, lol, so I helped her get her page up because my dad and my sister couldn't do it.

 

Me: Mommy what's your password?

Mom: Retired

Me: That's what I keep doing.........Mommy, spell retired.

Mom: RETRED

Me: No ma'am, that would be incorrect (I typed it in it still didn't work)

Mom: Move, y'all are stupid, let me do it. (she types it and gets in)

Me: Write down what you typed

Mom: RETRIED

Me: Are you dyslexic? That's retried, as in try again, you spelled that soooo wrong!

 

We were laughing her out, and she had to go tell my dad that the reason he couldn't log on to any of their accounts lately is because she spelled the password wrong, lol.

 

Great times with family. It doesn't get any better than that! How was your weekend?

This post is not about me

Did you read that title Pink? This is not about me, lol.

This happened to one of my friends this week. Three people are involved. Friend, Friends Mom, and Friends Grandmom. Got that? Follow along kiddies:

Mom: Why are your boobs so big? Are you pregnant?
Friend: No mom.
Mom: Yes you are, your boobs are getting bigger
Friend: Ma, please

A few days later

Grandmom: Is friend gaining weight? She's looking a little bigger. Don't say anything, I don't want to hurt her feelings.
Mom: gets to thinking. Hmmm her brothers have made me an illegitimate grandma 4 to many times. This girl better not be lying to me.

A few more days later. Friend is in the bathroom


Mom: bursts into the bathroom
Friend:Ma! I'm using the bathroom
Mom: Girl pee on this stick. You better not be lying to me, pee on this stick now
Friend: I already used the bathroom.
Mom: locks the bathroom door and stands in front of it You aint leaving till you pee on this damn stick!
Friend: I'm not pregnant ma!
Mom: Then pee on the stick

Friend pees on the stick. Guess what boys and girls? Duhhhhh she is soooo pregnant, lol. Well I shouldn't say sooooo. She is 20 days along. In 20 days her momma and grandmomma with Alzheimer's noticed she was getting big. IN 20 DAYS!

The story cracked me up, her momma is pissed though. She called MamaTM cussin and fussin. Told her husband then ran out the house. Lord, it's going to be some interesting times coming up.

I still have one question though. How do these little high school girls hide a pregnancy for 9 months (My friend no where near small, how did they see she was getting big)? These high schoolers live with their parents and interact with teachers and peers every day and nobody notices they are pregnant? My friend got busted in 20 DAYS! Unless somebody is lying about a timeline, these other parents got some splaining to do![you must read that part in the voice of Ricky Ricardo, go back, read it again, then comment, lol]

Sleeping In

This morning I decided I didn't want to get up, so I didn't. I'm supposed to be at work at 8, I got out the bed at 8:45. Strolled my happy tail into work at 10. Then I realized I left my lunch and all my snacks at home :( I had planned on going out and running all my errands today anyway, but then I looked at the bank account and it looked a little different from what I was expecting, lol. So now I will be eating whatever I have in my desk drawer which turns out to be a granola bar, oatmeal, cashews, and my emergency stash of easy mac! All good things to have on hand because you never know when times are going to get a little iffy. It's going to be alright though, I'm not too worried about it. 

 

Ohhh you know how yesterday I mentioned the maintenance worker came and "reseted" our plugs? Well how bout that sorry sucker didn't check to make sure they worked!? Ugggghhhh don't half do a job! This morning I went to curl one side of my hair (the right side came out looking fierce! The left side was all bushy) in the bathroom. I plugged in the curling iron and nothing! It didn't even work. Then I wanted to check the plug the worker replaced in the kitchen and they fixed it off center so you can't even put anything in the socket! For real? Y'all gonna do me like that? Needless to say, TheCount will be going back down there so they can come fix it correctly. 

 

It's funny because a wholllleeeeee lot of things have been happening lately that seem to be trying to frustrate us or throw us off course. Somebody's mama is doing some major hating and throwing salt in our plans. Things are coming up that were really unexpected. And crazy health issues keep popping up. Something great must be about to happen for us if Satan is working this much to steal our joy :) I can't wait until we find out what it is so I can share it with everybody, all I know is it must be great cuz everyday I'm falling to my knees praying so I don't get discouraged.

 

Let's change the topic shall we? Let's bring some happiness to this little blog o' mine. We went to the gym last night (ohhh and I made some great garlic parmesean potato wedges!). Aside from me hollering out "I'm going to die" every five minutes it was fun. I saw my best friend's daddy. But I don't particularly care for him and I didn't think he would recognize me so I didn't speak. Now I gotta see this sleezeball man a few times a week because he is a gym nut and when he isn't out cheating on his wife, he's in the gym. Ooops did I say too much? Ok I'll end this now then.  

We are a raggedy pair

Y'all, TheCount and I have been super raggedy as of late, lol. We need to be locked in our apartment so that the masses don't have to be tortured. TheCount is sick, thankfully he doesn't whine and carry on (he leaves that to me!), he simply requests hot food and tea, I love it! When he whines I know he is on his death bed (it's only happened twice in the last 5 1/2 years) so this is just a mild cold, but good gracious he is looking all types of sick, lol. He moves all slow and has his mouth hanging open, lol. Lest you think this is just a "make fun of my husband post" let me get on myself!

 

Our outlet in the bathroom wasn't working. I washed my hair Friday night but it wasn't dry yet when TheCount was ready to go on Saturday so I had to blow dry it and flat iron it. Why was my raggedy behind using the magnetic locker mirror on the side of our fridge. That thing was so small I couldn't even see my whole face. Let's just say this is a bad hair WEEK! That Saturday it rained hard as crap which didn't help my hair at all! Yesterday I had to go  up to the mountains for work (Frostburg for folks in the area). On top of it being a 3 hour drive it decided it should snow! Oh good Lord if my hair wasn't jacked up when I got there (which it was, lol) it was even more jacked by the time I lugged those huge boxes across campus in the snow! {Sidenote: Why does my boss keep mailing these HUGE boxes of materials to the work sites. I drive a flipping Saturn, I don't have room for that mess! And my arms are bony as all get out, I could barely wrap them around the box, we stopped every 5 steps to readjust} We rectified that mirror situation on Saturday and now I have a full length mirror in the bedroom and our maintenance person came and "reseted" (their word not mine) our bathroom plug.

 

Lately I've been getting these blinding headaches and my vision in my right eye goes blurry at various points of the day. Well last night I noticed my eyelids were swollen too. Woke up this morning and they still were. So now I have on my glasses that are broken. They aren't taped or anything, don't want y'all to think I'm that raggedy but let's just say if I bend over, they will fall off my face, lol. It's already happened twice today.

 

No need to even mention the bandaids on my sliced up fingers, lol.

 

On a bright note to all this busted-upness, TheCount and I joined a gym on Saturday and we are going tonight. I was talking to a personal trainer yesterday at the health fair in the mountains about how to get a Beyonce body. He was cracking up, I looked at him like, I'm sorry I missed the joke. I'm dead serious right now. The problem is I can't do high impact exercises (jogging, treadmills) because of the lupus. He was really helpful with telling me moves that would keep my hips and knees from getting any more damaged. Operation Beyonce is in full effect!