You talkin' to me?

I just accidentally sent my boss an email intended for my work out buddy. She called me while on a conference call and I was trying to respond since I couldn't pick up the phone. SO embarrassed! Thankfully my boss has a great sense of humor and sent back LOL. Here's the email:

 

Yes ma'am…How can the great one assist you today? I'm on a call so the great one cannot speak.

 

On behalf of MyCompany,

Therapeutic Musings, The Great One

 

Whenever I answer my phone and I know the caller, I always say, this is The Great One. Normally my mom or TheCount will be like, "ohhh, I was trying to reach TM. Do you know her?" Haters!

*******************

 

At Church on Sunday our pastor said, in no uncertain terms, that people need to stop booty tootin' on Facebook and then jumping on stage to lead praise and worship. Well he didn't really say booty tooting, but it was similar. His point was live for God, or don't. Hot or cold. At least be embarrassed when you are acting a fool, don't be all cocky with it like you aren't wrong. People are friends with our pastor on Myspace and still put up stuff about smoking (illegal things) and drinking. Unfriend him if that's what you want to represent!  And please unjoin our church group if all your pictures are of you in your bra and panties, Jesus aint smiling at you about that foolishness. People are bold in their trifling ways.

 

****************

 

Today I was talking to 2 coworkers in an office. I saw him eating apples and I smelled tuna. I assumed he was eating apples and tuna. The other coworker asked what the fishy smell was. It turns out somebody else was eating fish for breakfast. I was like,

Me: "Oh, I thought you were eating apples and tuna"

Dude: "WHAT? Who eats apples and tuna?"

Me: "My bad, I thought it was a white people thing."

Lady: "No, mayo is a white people thing, apples and tuna is just gross."

 

I was falling out laughing this morning!

 

******************

Yesterday TheCount and I were in the hall talking. I took my sweater and started hitting him with it. I saw he had hs coat in his hand and thought he was going to hit me back so I start side-running away.

Him: "What are you, a rat? Why are you scampering.? Run like a human."

Me: "Naawwww man, you can't turn your back on the enemy! That's what Jua.nita By.num taught me."

Him: "No, she should have taught you not to turn your back on God."

 

Not that I find her beat down funny, but I sure found that funny. I used to tell TheCount all the time that her and her hubby weren't right, I could just feel it. He's going through all sorts of drama right now and she has flipped off the deep end (google pictures of her last bday).

 

****************

Last night, I sure hope God wasn't talking to me at church. So I  said yesterday I got off the pill. I have been scared because I'm not really trying to have kids yet and the pill seemed the best way to prevent it. So I've been praying about it. I'll give y'all one guess what Bible Study was about. Children are a blessing from the Lord. Uhhh, God, you talking to me? The couple speaking was awesome! It was one of the best messages on family I have heard in a while. She is living my dream! They have 7 kids and now she runs a christian daycare that services people that can't afford daycare. That is my ultimate goal in life :) They spoke on everything I have been feeling lately and I really enjoyed it. I have to get that CD on Sunday so I can pass it around since my circle of friends are now getting married and having babies. That word was on point, but I sure hope God was giving me that knowledge for the distant future and not now :)

Little bit of everything

Laughing808 and Kisz4tj, I really am going to send you the information, as soon as I remember to bring it from home. It would probably help if I woke up on time and got to work on time. In the meantime, check out the website.

**********************

Time for some TMI. I am no longer taking birth control. NOOOOO we're not trying to have no darn kiddies, but I can't deal with the side effects anymore. You can't convince me that birth control isn't the devil, I know that it is. I'm going to go 2 months without to see if I can get back to normal and then go talk to my doctor again. I need to see if my theories are true before I go mouthing off, lol.

*********************

I panicked on Sunday when I realized Easter was next week and I had no outfit. Then my sisnlaw informed me I was working in the nursery so  no good clothes! It's going to be packed :) The other workers will probably be all mad about all the screaming babies and I'll be in heaven, lol. Babies are the best!

*********************

One of my friends called me yesterday to tell me she's engaged! I'm so happy for her, they've been together for like 7 years and have 2 kids and they live together. In all that time, I don't think I've ever hung with her and the dude though. The only time I remember being around him was at the hospital for their first child. I have no idea what he's like. Maybe I'll go busting up in there house one weekend, or invite them all over for dinner, she lives right around the corner from me and has never been over. We are trifling friends, lol.

*********************

You know what I like about TheCount? He can tell when I'm in a mood and he knows what he needs to do. I haven't done ANY housework this week, which is really unlike me and rather than make snide comments, I think he realized that I just can't do anything right now aside from sit down wrapped up in blankets. This morning he was washing dishes which is good because I was refusing to do them (secretly). I was mad that he had 3 cereal bowls in the sink. Take it out and rinse it and use it again. Don't keep grabbing new dishes man! Tomorrow, I'll be back in action. I have a spot to clean on the floor and I'm going to finally put my clothes away. Shoot, I might even throw in a load of laundry!

*********************

Ohhhhh, I think I have some people that have the potential to be friends :) They are corny like me and they don't have the drama! I love it. On Sunday as TheCount talked to his man friends after church, they came running over to me to talk! This is a monumental occasion.

*********************

My sister has been having nightmares for the past 3 weeks. Why? She's scared about the sorority thing. About 300 girls applied and only 57 are going to get picked. She's had some funny dreams man!

*********************

This dude was trying to tell me how much I looked like his niece. He kept going on and on about how we might be twins (we are the same age) and stuff and then he hit me with, "she even has pimples just like you do!" I'm so glad I realize my cuteness, cuz I just laughed and laughed and was like, did he really just say that? Dude, that's something you can think, but you don't say! Too bad I have a feeling this chick is not going to be as cute as I think I am. They never are. People tell me how much I look like somebody and then it's some homely, stick thin chick with damaged hair, glasses, and acne. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. Shoot, that was the 15 year old me. Now I'm the plain, but fly chick, with healthy flowing hair, contacts, and bright skin that's clearing up, lol. I cannot wait to see this girl. I pray it's not as disastrous as the last time I met one of my "twins!"

Seminary or Starbucks

My best friend from high school called me last night. Some people from our high school are trying to get together and plan a reunion. She doesn't want to help plan it, but couldn't think fast enough to get out of the meeting on Thursday. TheCount was on the phone with the dude right when she called me so I was like, oh well, TheCount just got us out of it! I haven't talked to my friend since 2 days before my wedding. Why? She was supposed to do my makeup, it looked horrible at our rehersal dinner trial run and she wanted to charge me way too  much. We told her never mind, my cousin was going to do it because we didn't have any more money. She never showed up to the wedding. Last night we did our catching up conversation. I asked how her husband was doing...

Background: December 2007, I was graduating from college so I called to invite her over for my graduation/Christmas celebration. She was like sure, and told me she was dating a new guy. It shocked me because I thought she was still dating her college boyfriend (of about 3 or 4 years). She was like, no. I asked why. She told me while she was working at Mac this dude that worked at the Starbucks came up to her and they began talking (this was November). She told him that she had a boyfriend but that they could be friends. Within 2 weeks of meeting, he convinced her that her boyfriend wasn't serious about marrying her (even though he said they would as soon as he got out of seminary school) and that she should be with him instead. Ok, whatever floats your boat. He was in his 30's with a 7 year old daughter, she was 22. Anyway, I talked to him on the phone, he sounded a bit to effeminate for my liking, but considering she had dated 2 dudes that turned out to be gay before, I guess she likes her dudes a bit softer. Anyway, they never showed up for my graduation celebration, but it was cool. In February 2008 (3 months after meeting dude) I see on Facebook that she is married. So I call her and I'm like, excuse me, what's going on? She tells me that on Valentine's day they decided to sneak off and get married. I find out that I'm not the only one mad at her,  her parents were livid. They were crying and stuff because it's just not wise to meet and marry somebody in 3 months. You have to date them long enough to let the crazy come out so you can make sure you can tolerate it! Come on, I hid my crazy from TheCount for over a year! Ever the supportive friend, I was like, ok, what's done is done, I wish y'all the best. The last time I talked to her, October 2008, they were doing well. When I talked to her last night, I find out that they are divorcing. Why? Cuz he's crazy! He is controlling (duhhh, he convinced you to leave your long term boyfriend after knowing him for 2 weeks) and won't let her do what she wants (duhhh, you were going to move to Ohio, until you met him and he said don't). And you silly behind snuck off and married him! If you have to sneak, you shouldn't be doing it. She makes me so mad, lol. So she's back at home with her parent's now. I'm going to have to make a point to talk to her more often now because she is too smart to act this dumb.

Jammie Jam wrap up

You sorry suckas didn't even join the prayer circle! Mostly lurker Jazzy came out and supported me, thanks! Well I had a great time! I got up to the resort and had to buy some pajama's and pick up dinner for my overnight roomies. When I got to the hotel to change, my niece was in the middle of the room butt nekkid. I brought in some pizza for us so I told her to put some clothes on:
Me: Little girl, put some clothes on
Niece: But you know me
Me: Yeah, and I know you're nekkid. We don't eat nekkid. It's not acceptable.
Niece: But you're my aunt.
Me: And you're nekkid, go cover your butt!

My sisnlaw chased her down and put some panties on her so I could eat in peace.

I'm not going to lie, when I got to the place I did sit in the back corner because I didn't know anybody and my sisnlaw was in the back getting ready for the fashion show. It was cool though, the speaker was really good! She got up there she was talking about how somebody commented on how long her hair had gotten. She looked at them and said, "girl, it's unbeWEAVEable what God can do!" Y'all I was falling out laughing especially because she was a white woman in a room full of black women! She was up there dancing while singing "Brick House," it was great! That night we had smoothies and popcorn set up for midnight snacks and then I found a friend and went to hang out. At about 1:30am my sisnlaw texted me to make sure I was ok, and told me they were going to bed (good!). I made all sorts of new friends with the young ladies at my church which was great. We played games, had a dance off (I did NOT participate) and they did the limbo. It was some good clean fun! It was funny because we were coming up with nicknames for ourselves and one girl was like, "I'm forest fire. Because I burn...but not like an STD." Everybody was just staring at her before we cracked up (I'm guessing she meant she's on fire for Jesus, lol).

Anyway, I left their BEAUTIFUL hotel with the waterfront room to drive down the street to the hotel my sisnlaw, niece, and random stranger were staying to go to bed. I got in about 3 and my 6 year old niece is staring at the tv in a trance. She doesn't get to watch tv during the week so when she can watch it, she gets it in! This little chick didn't go to sleep until 6am! I was awakened at 8am with my sisnlaw talking nonstop! Y'all why TheCount aint tell her about me? She was getting on my nerves with story after story. Then my niece wakes up and starts hugging and kissing me. God bless her sweet little heart, but I pushed her and told her to get out of my face. I stayed in bed for an hour as an act of rebellion since nobody would be quiet. I didn't completely act out though, even when my niece brushed her teeth for 20 minutes. She doesn't even have any teeth! All of my threats to knock out her remaining teeth if she didn't get out of the bathroom were ignored. Why don't people take me seriously?

I was a taste bit cranky all day since my morning started off rocky ( I did have a really good breakfast at Denny's but I got so mad at my sisnlaw for being SOOOO greedy then complaining about her gut, that I couldn't fully enjoy my meal), so I scheduled in some me time. Everybody planned to stop at the outlets, but I dipped out so I could shop alone. I ended up with a bright yellow nine west bag (my momnlaw found me in that store and helped me pick it out), 2 polos, and a cute BCBG sweater. I successfully avoided having a partner for the majority of my trip, then I made my way home. I walked in to find a spotless empty house! I was walking through here cheesing, then I passed out on the couch. When TheCount came home he had flowers and a new vacuum for me :) Oh my, it was wonderful!

Too bad I snapped on TheCount Sunday morning, lol. I literally screamed at him as he was telling me to get up for church. I really had to apologize cuz it got ugly in there.
Anyway, our church is doing a series on marriage, it's for married and single folks so I'm compiling a lot of the information so I can give you guys some. It's been really, really good.

Let me stop blabbing. TheCount just hit me in the eye with a grape and I need to go attack him.

Join hands, bow your heads, and close your eyes

We need to all join hands in a prayer circle today. After work today I have to hop in my car on this rainy gloomy day and drive 2 hours to my church's Women's Ministry Pajama Jam. I want to go, but I would much rather jam 30 minutes away. I also have to share a room with my sister in law. I love her dearly but she talks to darn much. I also haven't purchased any pajamas that I would be willing to let my church see me in. PJD suggested that I wear my lovely pink one-piece jammies, but I really don't have the nerve. I'm bold as long as I have a sidekick, but neither my mom nor my sister will be there so I must remain invisible, lol. I figure I have to pass a walmart or target in a 2 hour ride...right? I wore a really cute outfit just in case I don't have time to get jammies, people will be so dazzled by my style and this EXCELLENT hair week I've been having to notice that I'm not dressed for bed. Anyway, pray I don't fake car trouble just so I can stay home or that I don't put a pillow over my SIL's face to shut her up. Thanks, much appreciated.

 

Thanks for all the answers yesterday, I was looking at my screen like really? Insurance gets that expensive? Well I guess when you have actual things to insure aside from a busted laptop, a good laptop, a discount big screen tv, and an ipod (seriously those are the only valuable things in our house and it doesn't even top $2000) then insurance would cost more. On to the website. The spending plan was really helpful to provide a general guideline. There are also other helpful tools on the site that you can use as your needs dictate. Under the financial & career tools tab there are many free worksheets and such. In high school I used the teen version of their materials and I taught ( the only gainfully employed teen that actually participated in church = default teacher, lol) a Bible study series on managing money. It was really helpful, I learned he material well since I had to teach all summer, it's why I'm so rich and my friends are so broke. Years ago my parents used this website to get out of debt, it's why they are so rich and their friends are so broke. [Ugghhh guys, you know I'm hyping it up right, please don't think I'm actually implying that we are taking money baths over here. I'm really just saying, we learned the skills to effectively manage the income we have to meet all our needs/wants okkkkk, no snarky comments please]

 

Hmmm that makes me wonder, is it rude, in this economy, to say that you haven't really been affected by the recession? I mean, don't go up to a friend that is getting thrown out and talk about something great you just bought, just in general. In a lot of discussions recently people talk about things they have given up because of the economy and I just sit there because we haven't done anything differently. Maybe it's because we just got married when all of the craziness started so we began our bill paying lives with the recession in mind. Don't get me wrong, jobs are something we often pray about, especially since TheCount gets an email almost every week of somebody getting let go from his company, but we do just that, pray and keep it moving. I feel like God has really kept us during this time because, honestly, when I did our budgeting before we got married, I had no idea how we were going to make it. Now, it's not even an issue and I feel bad because it is an issue for so many people. I think I'll just keep my little mouth shut and keep living.

 

Back to my weekend, don't forget that prayer circle! I finally bullied my ONLY female friend from church into going, so hopefully I'll have somebody to talk to this weekend and not end up in the corner alone (did I ever mention I'm very socially awkward?) like I so often do without a sidekick. Prayer circle...commence!

Privacy Invasion

I need to invade your privacy once again. I'm doing budget things and I want to make sure we're on track and I'm not living in some delusion that I'm saving money, when y'all are being more frugal than me. I must be the cheapest! I'm using this very good Christian based money management website and when you enter in 3 basics, they break down how much you should spend in each category. I will be happy to share the website with you guys, after you give me the information I want! Here we go:

 

1. Do you tithe?

2. How much does you spend per month on groceries? How many people are you feeding?

3. Seriously, do you spend $2000.00 a year in insurance?

 

I don't believe in asking questions you aren't willing to answer so here are my answers as well:

 

1. Yes, we were both brought up tithing. If you don't, it's cool, I'm just wondering. Please keep your rants on how the church only wants your money to yourself, thanks (but feel free to share any other reasons, lol).

 

2. When we put in our 3 basics they tabulated how much we should spend per month on food. The personal budget I set for us is $300 per month, last month we only spent $200! Whooohoooo. Anyway, the budget said $500. Now for only 2 people that is a bit much in my opinion, but I easily cook for 4 every so I guess if we had kids or male teenagers we could easily reach $500 (who I am kidding, I am a coupon and sales queen, unless I have 6 kids I aint spending that much).

 

3. I don't know how much home owners insurance is so maybe it is super high, but the budget website said up to $2000 in car/life/and homeowners insurance per year. Our car insurance is about $800 a year and our renters insurance is less than $150 (I really can't remember but I think I remember it was supposed to be $11 or $12 a month). Which is all less than $1000. Health insurance was a different category, so that wasn't included in the $2000.

 

The website is really interesting, I'll tell you if you tell me.

Who thought of this dumb day?

I hate April Fool's Day. I think it's mean, I guess I'm a grinch like that. The Grinch that Stole Fool's Day. I'm pretty sure I faked sick and didn't go to school on April 1st, I'm not sure, but it seems like something I would do. I can't get with pranks. When I was about 10 or 11 my parents played a joke on my sister and me. My mom told me her and my dad were getting a divorce. First of all, this evil woman did it while we were washing dishes after dinner, not while we were all at the table together which common sense would dictate. So I'm looking at her and I start crying. She just looks at me and is like "what are you crying for, you don't even like your father." So I start crying harder and manage to get out, "yeah, but you aren't supposed to divorce him!" I grew up in a house where we were taught divorce isn't an option, you stay married and you be happy, lol. After a few minutes my mom felt bad and was like "April Fools!" and starts laughing. What kind of demon are you? She apologized and said she didn't think I would react like that and she wouldn't have done it if she knew. Her and my father got a huge kick out of it, he was cracking up too. I don't remember SisterTM's reaction, but with her evil self she was probably in the back packing my daddy's clothes!

 

Has anybody ever gotten you with a good joke?