Smells Good! No More Funk!

I had a great weekend! Friday when I left work I went home and packed my bags so we could spend the weekend at my parents house. We went to church for intercessory prayer Friday night. I did not want to go. Not because I don't like praying, but because I'd never been to an intercessory prayer meeting. The church we go to now is much different from the church I grew up in, sometimes I find some people to be a bit "extra." We had a good time at church praying. Some of the "extra" people were there, but it was cool. I don't know if God is working on them and their "extraness" or me and my patience. Either way, I'm glad everybody was on their act right.

 

 I washed and twisted my hair Friday night while watching my 4 hours of Criminal Minds (as I do every Friday night). I didn't wake up until 1:30pm on Saturday thanks to a very large dose of cough medicine. I lounged around my parents house by myself because everybody had things to do (Walmart and the barbershop) and nobody would let me go with them. That evening we got all glammed up to go to my company Christmas party that finally got rescheduled. I wore the exact same thing I wore to my other company Christmas party last month (different company, different group of people) so I knew I was cute. Our table was only half full, and there was this really obnoxious dude at the table. I think he felt the "get away" vibes because he went and sat in the lobby right after the meal. For our evening entertainment we had two comedians. The first comedian bombed. Oh my goodness it was so painful, but he was not funny! Thankfully his set was only about 5 minutes. The main comedian was really funny though. It made me feel bad for the other dude though. We left early because we don't dance or drink and that's all that was going on. Did I mention I won $200. Yeah, y'all I won $200. I almost praise danced across the floor, thankya Jesus! Good looking out. They picked my name out of a hat and that was that! When we got back to my parents house my mom came running out of the room because she wanted to see my outfit. I had texted her what I was wearing (Black ruffle shirt from Walmart, Black blazer from Ann Taylor, Black and tan mini skirt from forever21, black tights from Walmart and 4 inch nine west pumps) and my parents couldn't envision what I was saying and they couldn't believe I had on a mini skirt.

 

Sunday I ended up working in the nursery at church (probably more on this to come) even though it wasn't my Sunday to be in there. I was tired when I left there! It was a really busy Sunday and there was a 5 minute period when we thought we lost a child, y'all have not seen panic and fear until you think you've lost somebody's child. I was about to flee the country I was so terrified and confused (I put gates up in front of the door because 15-24 month old like to escape). We were switching out staff because they were doing something special in the sanctuary and each of us had to go get consecrated and when all of our relief was gone and the original staff was back, we noticed Kennedy was missing. I went running around the halls looking for the staff that just left to ask what happened to this little girl. All of a sudden this lady walks in with her and we all looked at her like "and who is you?" Turns out it was her grandmother and she came to get her so she could be consecrated too. Yeahhhhh, that's why I don't like to switch out staff. Just stay where you belong- unnecessary panic!

 

After church I went out with my mom and 2 aunties to dinner and a play. Tortoise and Hare Bar and Grille is really good, and if you want to watch football, it's a great place to go. There were 8 TVs showing the Jets vs Colts game and the environment was fun. There was even a cute bartender if you're single and looking! Our waitress was really nice and everybody loved their food. I might go back for a Steelers game next season. The play we went to go see was Stick Fly. I recommend that too. I laughed, I got mad, I was highly entertained. Even a horribly embarrassing episode of me choking and gagging couldn't ruin the play for me. Since we were sitting near the back of the theatre I excused myself and gagged away in the lobby while watching the play on the screen. You know it happened during the climax of the play, right? The play is NOT appropriate for your children because there is cursing and talks of doing the nasty, but using the f-word. Even though I had face scrunched up in disgust at one point, even prudes can enjoy this play. I'm not going to tell y'all how my auntie was trying to encourage my flirtation with one of the actors. I had to walk away because my mouth will get me in trouble! I'm glad I'm married, because I think I would be a groupie if I wasn't.

 

We didn't get home until 1 am, so I'm tired and I look a hot mess today, but it was worth it! I'm going to have to spend $2.50 of my $200 prize money to go to forever21 right now and buy a camisole today because I look a hot unfinished mess with no undershirt on.

In a Funk

What do you do when you're in a funk? There are days when I get incredibly sad, sometimes for no reason at all, and this seems like one of those days. It started out with a slight disappointment that something wasn't going to go the way I wanted it to, then add on it was going to cost more than I wanted it to, and then slap on MrC not responding the way I wanted him to and toss in a bit of decongestants which always make me feel really weird. That my friends is an equation for disaster (and a very poorly constructed sentence). I'm telling my brain to stop being selfish and be happy. I'm telling my brain that it will work out just as it always does. I'm telling myself to snap out of it, but somehow this feeling of sadness is just sitting here on me. I'm going to eat my lunch, because starving to death certainly isn't helping my mood. I'm going to pray for a few minutes and listen to some music. My Nap.ster library won't load and I really need to listen to Smokie Norful's "I Need You Now." The Bible study I have planned for today is really fun, so I'm going to do that after I finish eating (my delicious baked ziti).

 

What are your best get out of the dumps solutions?

Turn the t.v. off

Last night my coughing was out of control, so I slept on the couch so I wouldn't wake up TheCount. He had to get up at 4 am to catch a flight to Houston and I didn't want him to have a rough day because of me. I was watching HGTV and couldn't sleep. When I finally did fall asleep the tv show that was on was incorporated into my dream. This happens all the time so I only watch 2 channels at night, Nickelodeon and HGTV. Well last night I had a dream that I was Bob the Builder and I was working with Bob Villa on my dream home (my house is nice y'all). We had on our bright yellow hard hats and were about to install my granite counter tops when TheCount woke me up to take me to the bed. Does this ever happen to you? What dream can you remember that was because of what was on t.v.?

 

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I finally gave in and called the doctor today because the coughing is too much! Well they were asking me a few questions and she asked if I had a fever. My initial response was, "I don't know, I'm not a thermometer," which caused me to laugh and laugh (in my head). Fortunately, coughing prevented me from saying my response. Does anybody know what show that line is from? No? So now I'm the only one that watches True Jackson, V.P.? Y'all suck, I ain't talking to you no more till you go watch some Nickelodeon.

Controlled Spending

I have recently put myself on a shopping ban. During my ban, I am not allowed to buy ANY new clothes/shoes. I realized that even though I was getting good deals on all the clothes I was buying, I was spending way too much money on clothes. It seems as though there are always clothing tags on our bedroom floor, and I'm always buying new hangers despite the fact that I donate clothes to the goodwill on the regular. Aside from buying NO clothes/shoes, I also curtailed my other spending including food and random things that I just like buying. I have done really well so far. I told TheCount I wasn't going to buy any new clothes until March and I really want to extend past March- but we'll see. Now when I decide I need something I type it up in my phone and begin my research and take my time before I buy it.

 

I have some purchases that I get to make soon and the amount of research I'm putting into them are ridiculous! Today I'm going to go buy a power drill so I can put my bookcase together- but I have a $25 gift card and the drill I want is $35 so spending $10 is reasonable. With the new bookcase, I can finally get my huge stack of magazines/cookbooks off my kitchen counter freeing up space for me to move things around. I have to fix my spice cabinet. It's above the stove, quite small, and it's packed! Every time I cook I find myself trying to duck and dodge the bottles that are flying out of the cabinet. I've been on the hunt for affordable spice storage solution- it's not easy. I have around 50 spices in my kitchen and all the racks I've seen hold 16 or 20 spices. I'm not buying 3 $40 racks- there's gotta be a better way. Anybody found a cool, neat way to store their spices? When I find it, I'll post my before and after pictures. I also need a new cutting board, TheCount killed the cutting board I used for my veggies.

 

The purchase I'm most excited about researching is my bridesmaid dress. I'm in a wedding in June and she wants us to wear fuchsia short dresses that don't look like bridesmaid dresses. I'm going to start my search today. If anybody has a good place they find party dresses- let me know so I can search there too.

Lies! All Lies!

I just went to a CousinCount's wedding website and read the story of the proposal- it really was quite cute! She's a teacher and he proposed over the PA at her school and then ran into the library (and pushing one of her students out the way that tried to stop him) and got down on one knee while her friend's recorded and photographed the whole thing. Very, very lovely! My problem is he said his father and future father in law helped him pick the ring. No sir! You came to our apartment, ate up our food (and took home the leftovers), and we went to the mall together and TheCount and I helped you pick out that ring! I even tried it on, so you could see it. TheCount got you a huge discount because he used the work there. Where's my credit man?

 

Another friend that's getting married asked me for some advice. I told her a location and a photographer- she's going to use them, but conveniently forgot I told her about it. Oh, this was all your bright idea now? Where's my credit man?

 

I could be a wedding planner extraordinaire, but my word of mouth clients are stealing my shine. What can I expect from people getting married on a Friday and a Monday, trying to be all different and stuff. Get married on Saturday like everybody else! People from miles around need to know about my wedding idea skills, so I can get my business going and be on one of those fancy wedding shows. They are trying to squash my dreams! I'm great and the world needs to know I'm great. I'm going to do a toast at their weddings and totally thank myself for being the inspiration for their day.

 

{I'm totally kidding guys, I really don't want the credit- I just thought it was funny he completely lied (or forgot) about the ring situation. I really am great at wedding ideas though- and I'm thrifty! I also have lots of time on my hands, so if you ever need help, holla at me!}

Because y'all needed to know this about my life

Y'all know Boss' Boss didn't acknowledge me yesterday, right? Righttttt. Y'all knew.

 

For the past few days on twitter, I keep talking about vomit. Real cute of me, I know. My body is trying to be sick which is causing all sorts of uncomfortableness, but I just keep on fighting. One thing about me is my blatant refusal to throw up when I'm sick. My body will try it, and I'll outright refuse. TheCount thinks I'd feel better if I stopped fighting it, but it's gross and I just won't do it. Yesterday night, I contemplated throwing up on him because he wouldn't get out of my face telling me it was time to go to church. I already told his raggedy behind I wasn't going, and he kept insisting. I didn't go, and had been sleep for a good 2 hours by the time he got back home. I woke myself up around 1 am because I was moaning in pain in my sleep. I whined myself awake, how lame is that? TheCount was in the living room preparing some work for today and he forced me to take medicine (I always seem to give in when illness interrupts my sleep) and sit next to him on the couch. I sat next to him and blew my nose and dry heaved into a bowl, it really was quite sexy, I know he wanted me! Since he refused to bring my humidifier into the living room, and I was much too dramatic to carry it myself, I went back in the bedroom and sat next to him while he slept and tried to force myself back to sleep. Every hour or so, I whined myself back awake, I really need to get that under control. I came to work today, simply because I hate using my leave if I'm not going to be enjoying myself. I can be miserable at my desk using somebody elses electricity. I'm not doing too much coughing and sneezing  so I shouldn't get any "if this heffa don't take her sick butt home" side eyes. You can only tell I don't feel well when I talk. Yesterday my office mate so lovingly decided to tell me I sounded terrible every time I opened my mouth. I repayed her love with a little love of my own, and posted a picture of her on twitter in all her cream stretch pant glory. I felt bad about it, so I won't post it here. You should have been on twitter (@mrscount) and you could have been part of the fun.

 

Crap! I forgot I have a conference call that started 5 minutes ago- gotta go!

Do I detect a hint of sarcasm?

This was my morning prayer today: Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you so much for the scientists that created Aleve. Thank you for giving them that wisdom. Bless their lives. Amen. My throat was sore yesterday to the point where by bedtime, I couldn't talk. I woke up in the middle of the night in pain. Finally at 4am I gave in and took 2 aleve. I am not a medicine person. I don't see the point in treating symptoms if it doesn't get rid of the problem. I always feel like if my body is in pain, it's telling me I'm doing something wrong. Taking medicine to make the pain disappear, doesn't fix the problem and makes me think I'm doing more damage. Maybe my throat doesn't want me to talk or swallow, maybe it's trying to go on vacation. Well I took the medicine, so vacation over throat!

 

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Y'all can't tell me my daddy isn't smoking crack in his free time. He wants to take my mom away for her birthday at the end of the month. He wanted TheCount and I to come too. Fine. We talked about some possible locations, and I told him "don't pick anything expensive, because we won't pay you back." A weekend trip for a regular birthday (53) should be $200 (in my cheap opinion). This fool called me yesterday with this loveliness:

Dad: "TM, airtran is having a special, we can go to Vegas for $129 each way- would you want to do that?"

Me: Would I like to pay $516 to fly to a city where we then have to pay for a room and then have to pay for meals and then walk around and look at each other because we don't have any money to go to shows and we don't gamble or drink, is that what you're asking?

Dad: I didn't say it was $500 to fly, I said $129...ohhhh yeah, that's each way, per person. So that's a no?

Me: Daddy, pick somewhere in driving distance. Let's go visit the amish in Pennsylvania, they have good pretzels.

 

Somebody come get this man!

 

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TheCount was such a lovely husband and fix me lunch this morning. It was the leftovers from dinner- that had been sitting, uncovered, on the stove all night. I understand, he was too busy playing video games to 1:30 am to put the food away, that's a valid excuse. I accidentally left the container by the front door.

 

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How many times to do you think you should have to introduce yourself to somebody before you get offended that they don't remember you? My boss' boss cannot remember who I am. We've had lunch together. Sat in 3 hour meetings with only 10 people in the room, and she comes to this office frequently. Most of the time she just acts like she doesn't see me, and I make a joke of the fact that I don't think she recognizes me. Yesterday morning she was in my boss' office and I needed to get in there.

 

Me: Good Morning, Lady'sName. I need to forward Boss' phone, excuse me.

Lady: Sure, no problem.

 

Later on we were in the kitchen. She was talking to WorkFriend and I was commenting too, you know, cuz I know you. She pauses and says:

 

Lady: I'm sorry, have we met?

Me: (are you serious face) ye...

Lady: (cutting me off) I'm Lady'sName (extends hand)

Me: I know, I'm TM, you're over my account. (still making the are you serious face)

Lady: Oh! I didn't recognize you here. I've never seen you in this building, I've only ever seen you in ClientsBuilding.

Me: (hussy, that ain't true. I see you and speak every time you come here. I spoke to you this morning and addressed you by name. This is about the 10th time we've met in person!) Yeahhhhhhh

 

It was pointed out to me yesterday that she probably thinks all black people look alike and she can't tell the difference between me and the other 5 black women that work on this floor (despite the fact that I'm 20 years younger than ALL of them). It's funny that a white person came up with that explanation.

 

I'm about to go walk past her see if she recognizes me today (I'm choosing to ignore the fact that she walked directly into my office and turned around and walked out without speaking already this morning).