Friday, February 4, 2011

Ma'am, we aren't that close

Now that I'm pregnant, people that didn't really talk to me before suddenly have things to say to me. Some of this has been fun because I learn new things about people (word? you didn't know you were pregnant until you were 5 months? that's insane!) Some of it is not fun because some people don't know boundaries. Last week I went out to dinner with about 30 people. There were 18 at our table, I sat by my mom and sister and across from an older lady that I don't really care for. I was starving because I didn't have time to eat properly that day since we had just left from church. I was eating the bread on the table:
Ma: Girl that's your 2nd piece of bread
Sister: cough3rdcough
Lady: You better stop eating all that bread
Me: *side eye, dips bread in olive oil*
Lady: there's no such thing as eating for two. You better not eat that bread.
Me: *Looks at bread, puts it in my mouth, chews and reaches for another piece out of spite while staring her dead in the eye*
AnotherLady: Don't pay them no mind do what  you want
Me: You see I haven't even paused right? They don't have to see me naked, I don't know why what I eat is any of their business.
Later on we were getting ready to order more food since it was all you can eat family style. The hostess said to put the food we hadn't yet eaten on our plates so the waiters would bring out fresh stuff and we could just box up the stuff on our plates at the end. So I put a couple of pieces of chicken parmesan on my plate so they could be boxed up later and we could get a fresh platter brought out:
Lady: You going to eat all that?
Me: *rolls eyes* I thought we covered this already. How about everybody look at their own plate and worry about what's in front of them.
Lady: *notices somebody else doing the same thing* you going to eat all that?
Me: Didn't I just say everybody is only paying attention to their plate? Focus on you!
This lady also proceeded to ask me if I was having a natural childbirth and if I planned to breastfeed. If we aren't close enough to be sitting on my couch sipping tea with our shoes off wrapped up in blankets then we aren't close enough for you to inquire about what I'm doing with my va.gina and bre.asts.  


Jameil said...

Girl why you got me bout to HOLLA & wake up my momma with that last line?!?! Increasingly funny but that??? LOLOLOL!!!

InnerDiva said...

How rude! People think that pregnancy gives them the right to say whatever. I've had people tell me that I better eat so the baby doesn't make me topple over, tell me I'm nuts for trying to have a natural birth, and monitor my food intake...and these are just co-workers.

Anonymous said...

Whew goodness, I surely remember the unwelcome conversations and questions. Seriously??? Did you just ask me that??? Some people are truly ridiculous.

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