PSA!!!!

I had to go to Hagerstown for work today so I haven't been around. We picked up my moms cousin from the train station (the one that had the twin sister die last month). She's about 60 and has an adopted 2 year old boy. They've been here an hour and it has prompted me to make this public service announcement.

Dear Parents,

When you are putting your child with other people, especially childless people, it is vitally important that YOU remember a car seat! Lady that left your child last week, how did you forget to give us a car seat? Cousin that just rode the train down here 3 hours, how did you not bring a car seat? Do they not use them in New York? Also please remember to bring YOUR child some toys! If you know you have a 2 year old boy why would you leave for a 5 day trip with not one thing for him to play with? Ummm it's not appropriate for him to keep on playing with the sliding glass doors, you could have bought him an action figure or something! One more thing. I'll beat your child if you won't!Got that? If he touches it again I'm popping his hand. And I'll keep on popping it until he learns not to touch it. Thank you. That is all.

SisterCount says.....

Alright everybody, let’s do as Jamila suggested yesterday and get our cookies and tea and talk about this line: "See TM, you expect to much from men, they can only do but so much."

And to this line I say bullcrap! This is how the whole situation went down:

The Count and I were riding down to the family reunion with his cousin. His cousin is around 28 I think, has his masters, a good job, and a 1 year old daughter. He is not with his daughter’s mother since she was just a jump off that he got pregnant while he had a girlfriend. Now said cousin, let’s address him as CousinNoClue was bringing his daughter down with us to the family reunion so she could spend time with the grandparents. I was riding in the back with the baby. We played for a while and then both went to sleep. I woke up and realized 1. There was no air on in the car, while it wasn't too hot, the baby and I were definitely sweating and 2. This baby had not eaten or been changed since at least 5am. It was approaching noon! I was starving so I knew the baby was hungry. I started munching on chips and cookies but I took out a bag of grapes and started biting them in half to give to the baby. Her dad never even attempted to feed the child or suggest we stop. We finally get to the house and I go to take babygirl out of the carseat and what do I discover? She is soaking wet, he diaper has leaked. I hand her to her father so he can go in and change her diaper and clothes. What does CousinNoClue proceed to do? Put the diaper on wrong, and not take out a new set of clothes! We are about to go out in public why the heck do you think it would be acceptable to have your child out there in a t-shirt and diaper? I laid babygirl back down and was showing him how to properly fit a diaper to her body and do you know what this dude says? “Well it’s only like my 7th time changing her, I didn’t know.” Whatttt????? She is about to be 1! That’s not even averaging 1 diaper a month, what the heck, do you even see this child on a regular basis? He proceeded to do some more trifling stuff like throw the diaper out the car window even though we left a house that came fully equipped with trash cans-but we won’t go there. Now it’s about 2 in the afternoon and do you know he has not attempted to feed this child yet!? I mean my grapes can only go so far. Fast forward to about 7/8 o’clock (we fed the baby, and by we, I don't mean her daddy) and we are leaving the family reunion at the hotel. I haven’t been with him or the baby in the last few hours so I go up and remind him to change her. He informs me that he just did. I give him the ‘head tilted, pursed lips, side eye’ and ask “when?” and this trifling dude tells me "before we got here!" As in 6 hours ago!???? That’s when I let him have it. I’m sorry but this is not acceptable. I’m standing off in a corner with him reading him the riot act on what you do with a child and other helpful hints like perhaps not using the n-word around a baby learning to speak because when she starts saying it you’ll be mad.

During this same time at the hotel I look up and see The Count’s sisters (sistercount) baby’s dad. Now sistercount has her daughter there, but I did not expect to see the dad there, because they are so not together. It turns out he was just there for business, but you wanna know something? This dude didn’t even take his daughter out! He had time to attempt to take sistercount out for drinks, but not time to take his daughter out? This dude also does not pay child support, and only see’s his daughter on Sunday afternoons. That’s a big oh noooooooo from me!

Well sistercount heard what I said to CousinNoClue and saw how I was looking at baby’s dad and came over to talk to me. This is how it went:

Me: “See, oh no, I would stab the count in the eye if he acted like either one of those dudes. He slipped up and said the n-word in front of the baby and immediately turned and apologized, he knew he was dead wrong.”
SisterCount: “yeah I don’t like that either kid’s are parrots”
We keep talking about various situations and then she pulls the line
SisterCount: "See TM, you expect to much from men, they can only do but so much."
Me: and I started reading the riot act again, lol. “what?? No you don’t expect enough! They do what you allow them to get away with. If you expect nothing you get nothing. Watch how your brother and I interact, if I don’t like something, I express it and we get the problem fixed. Men are not stupid, it’s comments like that that contribute to the problem of all these dead beat dads. Yes I expect the count to be involved in our children's lives and I won't be hovering over him making sure he does it right. They will be his kids too and he better be just as, if not better at raising them than me........”

At this point the count either heard or saw what was happening and came and scooped me up, lol. I just don’t get it. What would make her think that either situation is an appropriate way for a man to act? This is really long, I’ll talk more about it tomorrow.

Wedding Wednesday

Last week I asked if you would be offended if you got invited to the ceremony but not the reception. This is why I asked: people keep inviting themselves to my wedding! They are people that I interact with so they naturally assume that they are coming to the wedding and reception and that's the problem. I searched high and low for a venue to hold at least 250ppl for a reception that wasn't crazy expensive (I am not about to break the bank for a few hours of food). When people hear 250ppl they assume that I'm having it that big so I can invite everybody I know....wrong! The Count and I have huge families. With just family (great aunts and uncles, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins) it's about 150-175 people. These people are blood related and whether we like them all or not, they will be at our wedding and traveling from Virginia, North Carolina, Georgia, Arkansas, California, Jamaica, and New York so obviously I want to have a decent reception as a small thanks for travelling to see me get married. After family we can invite 75-100 more people and that space was taken up quickly by our parents friends that have known and been apart of our lives since we were born and then lastly our friends. Honestly we had to fight to get enough spaces for our friends! So why do people that I used to work with keep giving my sister their address so I can mail their invitation. Why are casual acquaintances from church coming up to us talking about where is the reception. How come every time we go to a cookout this summer with old friends/acquaintances they talk about how they are going to cut up at our reception. News flash guys: YOU AREN'T GOING TO BE THERE! I don't say it to mean, I say it to let you know so you don't have to clear you schedule. My mom prepared a script for me to say:
"We both have large families so the reception will be family members and out of town guests."

I hate hurting peoples feelings but seriously I cannot afford nor do I have the desire to entertain everybody that ever knew me! You wanna know what really irritates me? To me, the most important part is the ceremony. You know the part where we make a covenant with God. The part where we pledge to be faithful to each other forever no matter what. I honestly enjoy ceremony's more than receptions because I love seeing people commit to each other, I'm honored that I can witness that (my ugly crying face is proof of that). If we are close and I neglect to invite you to the reception, by all means be upset with me, that is fine. Don't buy me a gift, don't come to the shower, but if you really loved me, you wouldn't miss seeing me get married, it's only happening once.

You want to know something else that is bothering me about this wedding planning stuff? When people tell me what I have to do. The quickest way to make sure I don't do something is to tell me I have to, I won't do it just to prove you wrong. Our reception is a reflection of us, so guess what we're going to do, whatever the heck we want! If you don't like it, don't come! We'll invite somebody else. We don't have to do a first dance, we've only danced together once in our lives and it was the last dance at prom. If you would shut up for one second I would explain that we are going to dance our way out of the reception off to our hotel to the same song. We don't have to have drinking and dancing at our reception. Why? Because we don't drink or dance, again, don't like it, don't come. We are going to have a laid back jazz lounge type of feeling. Sit down, eat your food, and talk to the people at your table. You want to drink and dance, go out after you leave OUR party. I don't tell you what to do at your events don't tell me what to do at mine. And I don't eat cake, yes we will have one, no I will not put it in my mouth for the picture. It is disgusting, it makes my stomach churn. If you let me spit it out in your hand, then I will consider putting it in my mouth.

I really am enjoying this experience, I guess I needed to vent. Feel free to disagree, I like to hear varying points of view. If you think I sound like an idiot or a selfish bride PLEASE tell me (The Count and my mom have threatened to call Bridezilla on me, they were joking, I think).

Freezing in the Summer

When I first came to this office when I was ordering my supplies I asked for a heater, everybody else had one, and it is freezing in here! The lady that handles our supplies told me she couldn't order me a heater because they are no longer allowed to do that since they blow fuses. Imagine my surprise when I walked in today and saw that my officemate, who has a heater, now has a box for a new heater on her desk. She comes in and says "oh good, my new heater is here." Ummmmmm yeah. I'm still over here dressed in layers carrying a jacket to work when it's going to be 80 out today. Let's see how this plays out.

Will Therapeutic be getting a heater too? Should she ask again to see if the rules changed? Or should I go snip the cord on her new heater?

Friend applications now being accepted

I spent my 4th in the bed with a headache. I didn't leave the house all day and honestly I would have slept all day if it wasn't for my company coming in my room at 8:40am telling me to wake up. I almost slapped her. She's my best friend and we lived together for a year so she should know that you don't interrupt TM's sleep, especially before 11am and most definitely not on a holiday! She had enough sense to stand back when she started talking because my first reaction when somebody wakes me up is to kick and kick hard (ask my sister who stood too close and got kicked into a wall!). But my interaction with her and a fellow bride-to-be has given me the desire to create a little info packet for my friends. If our relationship is going to last you need to know some things about me! The packet will be available on my birthday (8/4) because these chicks need a little assistance with knowing how to act! I welcome my friends to give me packets as well because I'm sure I'm no picnic either.

Friend #2, the bride-to-be has decided she should call me every single day to ask me things about what I'm doing for my wedding and her plans for hers. It would be okay except: 1. I don't care 2. I don't realize why she doesn't understand that if I'm getting married 2 weeks before her it doesn't make sense to think that I'll have time to design and print her invitations, plan her parties, help her with her flowers, chair covers or any other dumb task she'll come up with this week. 3. I really don't care!
My sister works with her and said she talks about our weddings all day every day. The thing that really gets me is, the stuff she's asking me about her venue does for free! She's having a $30,000 wedding , I'm having at $10,000 wedding. She's getting married here and this is my location , an empty hall. She has servers, decorators, set-uppers, take-downers, all provided by her venue, why is she asking me for stuff? I really don't get it. I keep asking bride-to-be "doesn't your place provide this in there fee?" Her response, "Yes but......" I mean if you just want to talk to me then call to talk, but don't be having me dig up all this information for you for no reason, I'll help you pick what you want for your wedding but it shouldn't be contingent on what I do for mine, we are 2 different people in 2 different places in life. Yall probably reading this like TM stop whining it's not that serious but you wanna know why I'm really mad? She called my cell 3 times and my house twice on Friday for stupid stuff even after I told her I was sleeping and if that wasn't rude enough she had the nerve to ask for my mom's cell phone number because she wanted to ask her something but we always say she isn't home. My response? "You are not about to irritate her like you are irritating me, she's grown, she'll call you when she feels like it, I'm sleep don't ring this phone again. If you want my mom's cell number get it from her, you're being rude she doesn't even know you." Do you think she got the hint? Nope, she hung up with me and turned to my sister (they were at work) and asked her for my mom's cell number. Not once, but 5 different times!



ughhh my headache is back, lol. Time for happier posts :)

Really Metro? Really?

Dear Metro,

You need to get your act together. It is in the best interest of your other patrons that I write this letter. I’m just saying, 2 hour commutes in this heat are not really going to work for me. I pay you $9 a day (without parking) and I expect to get what I pay for. Standing around waiting for a train for an hour on Monday and Tuesday evening only to have to fight my way on it and then realize that not only are we crammed in like slaves, there is no air, is not good for me or you. I am a drama queen, if you do that to me tonight I will put on such a show the cameras will show up. I gave you a break on Wednesday when I drove, on Thursday you redeemed yourselves with excellent service, and I thank you. But today???? Why did you try and show your tail this morning Metro? Firefighters running through the station, offloading all the trains to fix the mystery problem, only to then lose power once we got on the train! No sir, this will not do. I contemplated pushing many people onto the track today since they wanted to act like they were the only person that had to get to work. Sir, push past me again and I’ll help you get as close to the train as you like. Ma’am if you don’t get out of my personal space I will throw you under the train. Just a word to the wise, I am not stable, the heat coupled with me being oh so tired, will not be good for your patrons.

In closing, this afternoon, bring you’re A-game, if not I will be bringing mine.



Dear Metro Patrons,

Watch out for me, I will hurt you. Helpful hints: staring down the tunnel doesn’t make the train come. Running up in front of me when I am trying to step on the train is the surest way to get the back of your neck snatched up, so try it again. Please. I want you to. Also, just general words of wisdom, cover your mouth, apply deodorant liberally, the same goes with toothpaste, and please, stop getting yourself stuck in the doors. They do not reopen automatically and I’m sure they hurt like heck (not to mention you look like an idiot when the driver makes a special announcement about the passenger that is keeping the doors from closing and how you are going to be the reason the train gets offloaded and goes out of service)! When there are delays: Cursing out the train driver (who cannot hear you by the way) will not fix the problem. Complaining about how you are going to be late to work to a train full of people who are also going to be late for work does nothing but start a mini-riot, so please, seethe silently. Really guys, we are all hot and tired. Shut up.
Everybody knows the only way to fix a problem is to write an angry letter and post it in your blog. Please be advised and follow suit, see you guys at 5:00!



Pray for me or look for me on the news tonight!

I Blame the Hormones

Sometimes I wish I could be like him. To have the ability to turn off my phone and not care what calls I miss. Able to read a message that somebody sent me and just decide that I don’t have time to answer it but I have time to drive 30 minutes to take another friend to his ex-girlfriends house to pick up his box of crap, time to play video games, time to just sit and do nothing and decide that’s more important than answering a simple question! But I can’t be like that; it’s not how God made me. I’m too scared that I’ll miss something major, I won’t be there when somebody needs me, or that my fiancé won’t know how important he is to me if I don’t put him first. We are going to become one in a few short months and two can’t fully become one if he keeps putting other numbers ahead of her.

What trips me out is that he really doesn’t see how this is affecting me. What do you think leads to divorce? It is a serious of little stupid events, built up over time that causes a person to just say that’s it! I can’t take it any more. You don’t even remember what you’re fighting about because it’s now just a culmination of them all, and instead of looking into his eyes and seeing the person you fell in love with so many years ago, all you see is the person who constantly frustrates you.

I know I need to take some responsibility in all this; after all it is me that gets so mad that I refuse to talk. Well I’m talking now; this is why I feel how I feel:

I HATE it when you turn your phone off, or just don’t answer, or let me know you got home safe! Why? The day your brother passed I called you over and over all day because we had plans. I was pissed you didn’t answer and then I found out why and I blamed myself partly because I could have been praying instead of being pissed. The day they took Pops to the hospital you wouldn’t answer your phone and your sister had to call me and I had to be the one to look you in the eye and tell you your daddy was in the ICU. Every time you go extended periods without answering the phone I turn into the Prayer Warrior Princess because I cannot go through this again, my world would turn upside down if I had to do it without you.

I HATE when you decide to put your friends ahead of me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s your heart for people and your generosity that I LOVE about you most. But when your heart always seems to reach out to meet others needs over mine, I think that is where your heart truly lies. I want it to be us meeting each others needs first and then going out to help other people.

I HATE when I am upset with you and you mock me/mimic me/stick your fingers up my nose/or make me feel like I’m just another overdramatic woman (even though sometimes I am). I want to feel like you’re listening to me/that you care about fixing the issue (no matter how far out of proportion I have blown it)/and that you care about my feelings. Honestly, when I feel like the person I’m talking to doesn’t care it sends me into a rage and I shut down. Open yourself to me and I will open myself to you.

Babe,I know I love me and I love you too, and since we’re going to be stuck with each other for the next 70 years or so, we might as learn each other so we can make it a happy 70 years.
I think I should have written this last night; then I wouldn’t have had to wake up to swollen eyes. Tomorrow, I’ll be back with some not so heavy stuff, lol.