Friday, June 13, 2008

Really Metro? Really?

Dear Metro,

You need to get your act together. It is in the best interest of your other patrons that I write this letter. I’m just saying, 2 hour commutes in this heat are not really going to work for me. I pay you $9 a day (without parking) and I expect to get what I pay for. Standing around waiting for a train for an hour on Monday and Tuesday evening only to have to fight my way on it and then realize that not only are we crammed in like slaves, there is no air, is not good for me or you. I am a drama queen, if you do that to me tonight I will put on such a show the cameras will show up. I gave you a break on Wednesday when I drove, on Thursday you redeemed yourselves with excellent service, and I thank you. But today???? Why did you try and show your tail this morning Metro? Firefighters running through the station, offloading all the trains to fix the mystery problem, only to then lose power once we got on the train! No sir, this will not do. I contemplated pushing many people onto the track today since they wanted to act like they were the only person that had to get to work. Sir, push past me again and I’ll help you get as close to the train as you like. Ma’am if you don’t get out of my personal space I will throw you under the train. Just a word to the wise, I am not stable, the heat coupled with me being oh so tired, will not be good for your patrons.

In closing, this afternoon, bring you’re A-game, if not I will be bringing mine.

Dear Metro Patrons,

Watch out for me, I will hurt you. Helpful hints: staring down the tunnel doesn’t make the train come. Running up in front of me when I am trying to step on the train is the surest way to get the back of your neck snatched up, so try it again. Please. I want you to. Also, just general words of wisdom, cover your mouth, apply deodorant liberally, the same goes with toothpaste, and please, stop getting yourself stuck in the doors. They do not reopen automatically and I’m sure they hurt like heck (not to mention you look like an idiot when the driver makes a special announcement about the passenger that is keeping the doors from closing and how you are going to be the reason the train gets offloaded and goes out of service)! When there are delays: Cursing out the train driver (who cannot hear you by the way) will not fix the problem. Complaining about how you are going to be late to work to a train full of people who are also going to be late for work does nothing but start a mini-riot, so please, seethe silently. Really guys, we are all hot and tired. Shut up.
Everybody knows the only way to fix a problem is to write an angry letter and post it in your blog. Please be advised and follow suit, see you guys at 5:00!

Pray for me or look for me on the news tonight!


pink said...

lmao!!! i know exactly how you feel!!! how bout the peole that still try to pack themselves in even AFTER the "ding ding...doors closing" has sounded? i hate the metro after work. seriously.

laughing808 said...

yeah, I'm late responding....I just found your blog and since I added it to my google reader, I have to read the last ten posts.

So you must livein the DC/MD area, cause I tell you I CAN"T STAND catching metro. I just started a new job in DC and for the past three weeks I've been catching the train and last week was hectic with incidents occurring twice in one week. All the money we pay to take metro we need better accomodations.......

Mrs Count said...

It really is quite crazy! I would think we could get a cup of water or something upon exiting the train station since we were all sweaty and miserable, lol.

It's nothing like seeing people in business suits running to squeeze in the door....only to not quite make it!

CC said...

wow, i hope my train service is never that bad, I would lose my mind

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