Thursday, March 18, 2010

Song on Repeat

I've had to check my attitude in a major way these days. When I get in one of my moods I start to feel entitled and selfish, traits that aren't cute. I spend more time complaining about the work I have to do then actually doing the work.  I could have been done if I'd just shut up and do it! We pick up a family for church and it's out of the way, and I was getting tired of having to wake up even earlier so we could be to church on time. I never said anything, but God knows my heart- and I'm sure he wasn't happy with it. He blessed us with the ability to get a vehicle to fit an extra family in, and here I go talking about what I want to do. We're supposed to babysit my nieces this weekend. I agreed, but not with a joyful spirit. It was one of those, "fine, I'll do it so next time I can say no" type things. Instead of planning things for us to do this weekend, I did the following:
1. Told TheCount he better not make any plans because his nieces were coming up and he better not leave me with them all weekend.
2. Asked why the heck 8yearoldniece wasn't going with her daddy who lives around the corner from us. When mommy goes out of town, daddy gets his turn, in my opinion.
3. Complained to everybody that I wanted to spend the first nice weekend with just my husband. We don't have kids yet for a reason.
4. Whined about how we live in a one bedroom apartment, we don't have room for these extra kids.
Seriously? Shut up TM. It's family. All this complaining over a weekend of watching an 8 year old and an 11 year old?
My entitled attitude had definitely spread to other areas, but there's no need to put myself completely on blast, so I'll keep it to myself. This morning on my way into work, I had already been praying about my attitude when the song "He Wants it All Today" by Forever Jones came on. Next thing I knew, my crybaby self was crying and praying some more. God has blessed us immensely, yet I try to hold on to it all for myself or get all proud and talk about the great things I can do, knowing good and well it has nothing to do with me. I'm grateful. I'm blessed. I'm joyful.
"Love me, love me with your whole heart, He wants it all today.
Serve me, serve me with your life now, He wants it all today.
Bow down, let go of your idols, He wants it all today.
All of you, more of you, He wants it all today." - Forever Jones


This One Woman said...

Amen. We all need to be reminded sometimes of how blessed we really are. One of my ongoing goals is to stop being so negative about work. I am so blessed to have a job. Now that you have recognized it and prayed God will work on it. Take care.

Jameil said...

AWESOME!! Isn't it cool when He talks right to you? And also cool that you're receptive. It's one thing to be stank and aware and another to be stank, aware and willing to change. Yay!!

Jamila said...


My name is Jamila and I came across your blog in 2008 pre-wedding. I came across your blog again today. Being that I missed so--- much I went allllll the way back to the last post I read. It took me alllll day to read being that I had to take breaks and tend to my 14 month old son. Just know that a lot of your post had me dying laughing. Lol. So glad I was able to cross your blog's path once again. I have added you to my favorites! Congrats on the marriage.

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