Me:Do you remember what happened last night?
TheCount: No
Me: Really? Because you woke up after I licked your eyelid for the sixth time
TheCount: What!?
Me: Hahahahaa, I was messing with you in your sleep. I kept taking pictures, but I couldn't get a good one of me licking your eyelid so I had to keep doing it, but then you jumped up. You don't remember me laughing and running?
TheCount: Naw man, what's wrong with you? Of all places for you tongue to be, you choose my eyelid? Did you put these pictures on twitter?
Me: No babe, TheWorld doesn't need to know I'm crazy
TheCount: I'm going to start a blog to expose you, just wait
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Phone conversation:
Me: Babe, can you freeze that meat I have in the fridge?
Him: Sure
3 days later
Me: You put all 3 packages of meat in one big bag?
Him: Yeah, see I wrote on the bag like you do so you would know how much meat is in there, 5.74 pounds.
Me: That made sense to you? We are 2 people! If I want to cook one of these steaks I now have to thaw them all!
Him: Oh
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Me: Yeah, we're having steak sandwiches for dinner
Him: If you buy me some milk, you don't have to cook
Me: Yes I do. I have 5.74 pounds of raw meat in my fridge!
Him: Well as long as it's tender, I'm all for steak sandwiches.
Me: What? Did you think this was time for requests? Just for that, we are having tough steak sandwiches for dinner. How about that, so tough your jaw will hurt. Make another suggestion, hear?
Him: Whatever, bye girl, I'm about to go up on the roof
Me: Alright be safe
Him: Nope! I'm not taking your suggestions, I'm going to be soooo reckless
I have a picture he sent me from the roof, but I can't get it to post correctly, I'll try again tomorrow.
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Me: What the heck is this stain on the floor?
TheCount: That's been there babe.
Me: so you saw it and did nothing, sigh I asked what it was
TheCount: I don't know
It always amazes me that somebody can see something wrong and not fix it. I got out my carpet cleaner and went to work. As payback for him not taking care of it, I waited until he was good and sleep at midnight and then started vacuuming. I was laughing so hard because I just knew it would wake him up- that sorry sucker didn't even flinch.
3 comments:
LOl @ that made sense to you? LOL
And the fact that he didn't even flinch is is priceless.
PJD
This was funny. I like reading your stuff, I always feel like I can relate.
It is the worse when you try to get back at someone and it doesn't work out as you saw it in your head. That happens when I pre-meditate scaring my bf. It just doesn't work.
you are too funny , i bet you are a riot when you are out in public with your friends .
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