Abort Mission

Well my weekend didn't turn out as expected. This is what I planned:

 

Friday

Go to the grocery store, go home and wash and cornrow my hair.

Saturday

Go to the Walk for Paws Event to look at the adoptable dogs in my area (even though TheCount has made it clear I won't be getting a dog, but I was going to cry so he would feel bad for me and the dog and see what happened). Then we were going to go to a corn maze with another couple.

Sunday

Church, visit my momma that I haven't seen in like 2 weeks, go home and get ready for the week.

 

This is what happened:

Friday

I was on my way home from work and my road was closed. I didn't know any other way so I just followed the cars in front of me. Eventually I had enough common sense to use the google maps on my phone to get me home. I ended up going to the grocery store, Target, Pier 1, Ollie's and the gas station. I got home around 8:30 and fixed TheCount some dinner. I looked up the walk and it had been rescheduled to Sunday because of the rain, so we also shifted our corn maze plans to Sunday. I pre-pooed my hair and went to bed since I had all day Saturday to do my hair.

Saturday

TheCount was supposed to go play football in the morning and then go to a friend's house to play video games. I was going to do my usual Saturday thing: nothing but read magazines and watch a marathon of something on t.v. while braiding my hair. What ended up happening was me waking up at 1:30 p.m. {don't judge me} to find this voicemail: "babe, T and S are going to come up to the apartment after their counseling session at 2. You and S can go out while T and I play video games. I just wanted to give you the heads up in case you wanted to straighten up or anything." First off, he knows better than to make plans for me. I figured he was high of the testosterone from a morning of football and let it slide. I hopped out of bed and jumped in the shower to wash my hair. I couldn't find my beloved deep conditioner so I had to run around the house dripping wet and nekkid {well maybe I didn't have to, but it's what I did} frantically searching for it. As soon as I stepped out the shower TheCount came in the door and reminded me that we needed to go down and sign our lease by 4. I partially dried my hair (just enough so it wasn't soaking wet) and threw on some sweatpants and TheCount looked at his lovely bush baby and asked was I leaving the house like that. We were going .4 miles down the street- of course I was. We got back home and I started to cornrow my hair. By 5 TheCount called T and S to find out where they were. They hadn't even made it to their 2 o'clock session yet. Y'all they are always late. Not even a reasonable amount of time late, it's always something ridiculous like a few hours. TheCount was doing laundry as I braided my hair and lo and behold- our kitchen flooded. We have to hook the washing machine up to the sink. Well there was something blocking the drain so the sink filled with water, and the drawers, and the cabinets, and the dishwasher and the floor. Of course we were washing towels so we had limited resources to clean it up. It was really funny though. Picture it: TM in her rainboots trudging through the soapy water that filled the kitchen spazzing out when TheCount had to use her beloved white face towels to soak up water. I darn near fainted when he put his shoe on my beloved white face cloth to drag it across the floor. Needless to say, I'll be buying a new set of face towels, I can't bear to put them back against my face. He made me promise I wouldn't go out and buy all new towels. In my mind their are body towels and then their are cleaning towels. Once something has been used as a cleaning towel, it can no longer be used on my body. I don't know why I'm weird like that. I finished my hair around 7 and sprayed it with water, put some pomade on my edges and used some foaming wrap lotion, put my scarf on and started painting my nails. When they got to the apartment around 8, TheCount comes up with this bright idea: Let's go out to dinner. Y'all I shot him a look of death so fast!

 

Me: That means I'll have to get up and dry my nails, then blow dry my cornrows, then take them out, and get dressed, but ok, where are we going?

T: No, it's fine. I don't want to do anything to inconvenience you TM. We'll order food. We don't need to go out to eat. Relax, don't take out your hair. All I want is pizza anyway.

 

Have I mentioned that T is terrified of me? He often tells me I scare him. I don't understand why. If I get mad I don't do anything but be quiet. I guess my silence scares him. While T was going out of his way to be the easiest house guest ever, TheCount was looking at me like, "you spoiled rotten party pooper." Since I'm used to that look, and my day had been inconvenienced with their sudden plans and habitual lateness, I really didn't care. We ended up going to Blockbuster (since we had a gift card to use), Walmart (to meet TheCount's demands for juice), and Domino's. We watched Kevin Hart's DVD, "I'm a grown little man" which is hilarious by the way.

Sunday

Church was ridiculously long. We immediately left but we still couldn't make it back home in time to get to the Walk for Paws. We grabbed lunch and waited for T and S who should have been pulling up at the same time we did. An hour later TheCount calls them because I was getting frustrated with the fact they have NEVER been on time for anyting (they almost missed their own engagement because they were so late). Turns out T's tire blew out and they were waiting on roadside assistance. So no corn maze for us. They arrived 4 hours later and S and I cooked dinner and then we all watched Soul Men.

 

We had a good time this weekend y'all.