Monday, November 2, 2009

Life Rules

According to my mom, I'm crazy. There are certain things that I do that causes her to ask, "where did that come from?" Like my rule about shorts- only during the summer. It could be the day before summer and 182 degrees outside, and I would not put on shorts because it's not summer. I have another rule- no jackets in August. This year August 31st was quite cold, but I refused a jacket because it was August and arms should be free in August.
I hung with my mom from Thursday- Sunday and I'm pretty sure when I left last night she went in her prayer closet to ask God where she went wrong with me. Apparently my daylight savings time rules are stupid to her. We only have 2 comforters in our apartment because we don't have space for anything else. We have a lightweight cheap one from Target, and a heavier nice one from Macy's. When the time changes our comforter changes. The same thing with the curtains in our bedroom. The time has changed so the curtains must change. When we "spring forward" I'll change them back. My other weird rule is about when I eat oatmeal. Since we "fell back" yesterday, I pulled out my oatmeal for today's breakfast (for my birthday in August I got a packet of oatmeal for a gift, and I ate it, see I'm flexible). I'll eat oatmeal almost every morning from now until the time changes again, then I won't even touch it. 
The other thing I said this weekend that made my momma raise her brows at me was about "trusted food sources." I'm willing to bet most of y'all are like this too though, so I think she is the odd one. Friday at work we had a potluck. I wasn't on the invite, but they told me to come. Since I didn't know about it until 2 minutes before, I didn't bring any food and I didn't know who was bringing food. They make fun of me for being a picky eater and I really didn't feel like being bothered so I had to make some tough choices. These were the dilemmas I faced:
1. Only one person was a trusted food source. All others were of questionable sanitation practices. I cannot risk my health trying to be polite.
2. Thankfully a lot of people bought pre-made food from the store. Stores are trusted food sources because my family can sue them if I die from their mess, lol. However, Popeye's was the main food source.
3. I think Popeye's is the devil (their commercials anger me so much). I will not spend my money on Popeye's even though I had been craving their biscuits for over a month. I couldn't sit down with just a cup of chili, so I got a piece of chicken and a biscuit. It seem the lesser of the evils I faced.
4. My blackness was questioned in a room full of white people. The only other black person at our potluck brought cornbread from Safeway. He told me to get a piece and I declined because I don't like cornbread. He told me I wasn't really black then as I looked at this room of white folks chomping on cornbread. Seriously? I had chicken on my plate- clearly I'm black {sarcasm folks}.
5. I have a problem with home made baked goods. I don't eat cupcakes (thank God because apparently they were gross, and had 475 calories a piece) but I love brownies, but I was scared to eat them. I could just picture the person cutting them up and getting chocolate on their hands and licking it. Then picking up the rest of the brownies to put them in the container- yuck!
What are some of your strange life rules? I know I'm not the only one (please tell me I'm not the only one)!


This One Woman said...

OMG. You are not the only one. My coworker and I talk about this all the time. We had a coworker that had about a dozen pets, cats, dogs, frogs, crabs etc. She was the cut, lick and continue person with no shame and always making preserves or baked goods wanting to share. Once I took a cookie and the realized what I did and in the trash it went. You have to be carefull. That's how folks end up with e coli and other things. No thank you!

She Needs said...

You are notthe only one. I will the last person to eat at a potluck to see who has cooked what. Many of my co-workers(of the lighter color) have pets in their home and only GOD knows if they are clean or not. Not every one can be trusted.

Jazz said...

Tm , you are definitely not the only one .
I do not eat blue things - like blueberries and blue koolaid, because the blue things are always nasty .
I do not eat things with jelly on the inside , heck I dont even eat jelly ( but I love jello... how odd is that?)
Oh and the not being black thing , yeah I get it ALL the time, due to the fact that I do not eat sweet potatoes , candied yams , sweet potato pie etc , actually I dont eat pie at all because I dont like cooked fruit

Jameil said...

LOL!! You know a blog is the place to come to find other crazies!! There was this chick who baked all the time at my old job but had 2 great danes. I stopped eating her admittedly amazing cookies when I found a dog hair in one. I can't. NASTY. I got the recipe instead. Make my own doggone cookies. I don't like greens, cornbread unless it's sweet (but not cake-like like Boston Market) or sweet potatoes except in pie. We can collaboratively give up our black cards. Do you also have a rule abt flip flops? Florida is just this week acting semi-fall-like so NOW I will stop wearing open toed shoes. (found you via Nerd Girl)

*Ms.B* said...

I am with you on the potluck thing. Always have been that way, after seeing some of the people that I work with not gone happen. I remember this one chick saying that her water in her kitchen was messed up so she had to clean her pans in her bathtub. Then it was this other lady who had broke out with white crush and bump looking hives around her mouth. No thanks !

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