People make me laugh

Last night when my dad picked me up he was all upset
Dad: "TM, somebody broke the window out on my van"
Me: "really?" I'm thinking, you're late, it's raining, and I don't care.
Dad: "Yeah..blahblahblah..."
Me: "Hmmm that's to bad. You should hurry and get it fixed because I have to drive to work a lot in the next 2 weeks."

So I get home and look at the window. Nobody, no matter how dumb of a criminal you are would have done that. My dad just likes to be dramatic. I really think during one of the storms this week something hit the window and shattered it, my mom thinks a rock hit it when he was cutting the grass and he didn't want to fess up! It's smashed in the top middle! In order to unlock the door a person would have cut their arm all up, why wouldn't they smash it in the most convenient place? And why would they smash the side closest to the house? Every single time somebody has broken into a car in my neighborhood (which used to happen a lot, turns out it was my god brother who had just moved into the neighborhood, another story for another day, lol) they did it on the street side so they could get away quickly and because it's a lot easier.
***
I got to sleep in today because I had a client meeting and didn't have to go to the office! Yayyyy. Since I had this client meeting I decided to try and be extra cute because I refused to put on a suit. I had on this purple shirt that matched my purple toenails so I put on some peep toe pumps. When I walk out to my car to leave for work my mom is outside unloading the truck from a catering job. She looks at me and this is what follows:

Me: "I'm cute, huh?"
Mom: Closely examining me, turns her head to the side and says "No"
Me: Laughing, pause "wait, are you serious?"
Mom: "Yeah I'm serious" frowning now "I think it's the shoes, go change the shoes, put on lower heels"
Me: "oh..ok" quite confused because I just knew I was fly! I walk back in, change my shoes and go back outside.
She looks me over....she never did say I looked cute though......

***
Anyway, I make my way up to Baltimore for the client meeting. I'm in there with the other coordinator, our boss, and 2 people representing the client. We're trying to set up the conference call, and by we, I mean them because I am in lala land singing in my head.

MyBoss: "I'm so hot. Lord, is there a fan in here? I'm bout to faint"
Me: still looking down singing silently "I'm actually kind of chilly"
MyBoss: "what? shut up TM you're always cold" Which really is true, my heater is always on, but I look up and see she is drenched in sweat! Her hair is sticking to her face and she is fanning herself like crazy! Everybody is just looking at her like what the heck!
Me: "ummm, do you want me to help fan you?"
MyBoss: Blank.Stare. She looked at me like she wanted to choke me, lol. I really did mean well, I was trying to help her through her heat flash.

I'm about to fall asleep at this desk, I should not have eaten all that Wendy's. Off to find more wedding ideas online, cuz ya'll know I don't have any work to do !