More than you ever needed to know about TM

It's official, my office mate has fake teeth that she only wears when she feels like it. The difference between yesterday and today is astonishing. Now I'm not going to be satisfied until I see inside her mouth without the teeth in, it's a never ending cycle with me.  Also, we have a bo/ard of dir/ect/ors meeting today at work so we were instructed to wear our extra good work clothes. I hooked it up with a cute BCBG skirt that I had been dying to wear anyway (that outlet is the truth!) and some new shoes that I got for $10 at TJMaxx. Ummmm this chick has on tan stretch pants a brown sweater and her "jazzy" part is a wrap... a black and white flannel scarf. I do pray that she does not walk past the conference room in that. I'm going to try and get a picture of both of our lovely outfits. On to today's regularly scheduled post...

 

Now it's time to do my 25 randoms since I refuse to do them on facebook, but I have to be able to tell my sister that I did them. Wanna read 'em? Here dey go!

 

1. If I had to choose one food to eat for the rest of my life it would be Potatoes. Mashed potatoes, french fries, hash browns, potato chips, baked...oh how I love them.

2. I love to talk about myself. I actually considered going to a psychiatrist so I could have somebody to tell my stories to, lol. Ain't that crazy?

3. TheCount calls into question all stories about my childhood. He realized that I'm always mucchhhh older than he envisioned I would be during the story. When I told him about me falling out in the Lens Crafters he was appalled to learn I was 19 (and dating him). When I told him about being held down by my family to take some cough syrup he laughed until I said I was 13, then he looked at me like I was stupid. It goes on and on.

4. I get these things called tonsil stones, my sister does too. They are so gross and they hurt. Look them up on you tube if you want to be disgusted.

5. My mom thinks I have weird food issues. I love watermelon but hate watermelon flavored anything. I hate bananas but love banana candy. I don't believe in fruit flavored dairy (ice cream, yogurt, milk) or hot fruit (apple pie, tarts, cobbler). I hate tomatoes but love tomato soup. I put things like mayo and ketchup on my sandwich only to scrape it right off. That list goes on and on too.

6. I love to hear TheCount smile. Its like a sixth sense I whip my head around whenever I hear a smile creeping upon his lips.

7. I'm blind without my glasses. BLIND!

8. This is a lot harder than I thought, I guess my session with the psych would have been very short. But she would have probably found some other reasons to keep me in there, lol.

9. I don't eat cake. It turns my stomach even thinking about having to eat it, something about the texture.

10. My current food obsessions are sugar roasted pecans (made by me only), bacon, and frosted mini-wheats.

11. My Wife and Kids slays me every single time. If only that and the Cosby show came on tv, I would be cool with it.

12. I love to laugh and do so often, and loudly! My momma used to tell me no dude would marry me cuz I laughed to loud. When I type LOL on peoples blogs, I probably really am laughing out loud. People have come by my office and thought I was crying because I was trying to stifle a laugh and had a tissue over my mouth while shaking violently trying to suppress the laugh. Laughing is great. Pair that with #23, and I think I can fix the world.

13. If I want it, I will get it. I be tryin' to tell people that Jesus loves me the most. I am the most specialist and he is always on my side, lol. TheCount got me a bracelet one year that read, God's Favorite because I say it all the time. It blows my mind when I tell Jesus something and He makes it happen. So, while yes, Jesus does love you, he loves me extra special!

 

14. When people (as in ignant folks who didn't even know me) used to say I was getting married too young I used to ask what I was waiting for? What life were they waiting for me to experience? Drunken debauchery, babies, std's, and/or heartbreak? Cuz that's what my friends are doing and that ain't cute or necessary to me.

 

15. I want to be a stay at home mom. Scratch that, I will be a stay at home mom

 

16. I don't photograph well and I don't do close ups!

17. If you combined my sister and I into one person we would be perfect. She has the face, I have the body. This chick has perfect skin and long thick hair I have a small waist and ample behind, lol. I am sweet but quiet, she is evil, yet friendly.

18. When I find a new blog, I treat it like a book. I go through and read all the posts. That way I get a feel for the blogger and I don't judge them from one post. It also keeps me busy at work. If I've ever commented on your blog, I've read all your posts. Hmmm, that sounded a little stalkerish (I promise I'm not looking for you or your family, lol)

19. I love garlic. Everything is better with a lot of garlic in it. TheCount frequently tells me my hands stink because of my garlic infatuation. Apparently, it's not sexy in the bedroom.

20. I've been to Africa to do missionary work. It was a lot of fun, I want to go back. We went to the schools and also on safari. If we could have afforded it, we would have done it for our honeymoon.

21. I sucked my finger until I was 13. I still sleep with a special blanket. TheCount threatened to burn it, I threatened to burn him. My mom tried so hard to make me give it up before I got married, she failed. I'm always cold so it's helpful to have a warm source of comfort.

22. I sing all the time. All the time! About everything especially food. TheCount claims he doesn't like it, but he's started singing randomly too. One night he came running out of the bathroom singing "all night breakfast" it made me smile, welcome to the dark side my love.

23. Warm brownies and ice cream can heal the world. That is a fact. We can heal our world if more people sat down and shared fresh warm brownies and ice cream. You can quote me on that.

24. I really enjoy magazines. There are so many I want to subscribe to but TheCount already looks at my growing mound with concern. That is a really cool gift idea, in my opinion. Magazine subscriptions rock my socks.

25. I really like TheCount. He just read #23 and shook his head in shame. That's why he doesn't read my blog, I'm always talking crazy. That's also why I won't put this on facebook, those folks don't need to know about my particular brand of crazy.

The illiterate detective

I have not been very diligent with being on time for work the past few days, nor with going to bed on time. I'll try again tomorrow.

 

Last night for dinner I made Jambalaya...it was delicious! TheCount was burning his mouth up because he couldn't wait for it to cool down. I made enough for six people (even though TheCount is always fussing that I cook too much food) and I still had to fight him off of the pot so I could have enough to bring for lunch. This one is definitely in my rotation now! I have been on a cooking roll lately :) On the menu for the rest of the week is Spaghetti with Sausage (I needed a quick -hey babe you  make this- meal so I can do my hair and Sloppy Joe with sauce not from a can. Also, my wild hair don't care movement that I started last Saturday will probably end tomorrow. It's harder to look wild than it is to just roll my hair. I think I'll go curly for a while.

 

I've been having some strange dreams lately. Last night I had a dream about my coworker and her husband. As if that wasn't strange enough, it was about their teeth. I've been trying to figure out why on some days I notice her beautiful smile and some days I don't see any teeth at all. It seriously bugs me, are they real? I have to be more diligent in my research to figure this out because that dream was down right scary (her toothless gummy smile is haunting me).

 

My new workout buddy and I have been having a ball at the gym. Yesterday we watched and played along with Family Feud while on the treadmill. Then she told me some info about this dude who is allllwwwaayyyssss down in the gym and who, of course, came in yesterday while we were in there and requested we change the channel so he could watch the soccer game and then was just standing there watching the game--rumor has it, he lives here. In our work building. We had to agree that the facts surround the allegation are pretty convincing. He wears the exact same thing every day-wrinkled dark khaki's and a blue turtle neck- he even works out in it. He was also seen walking around here during Christmas in his pajamas. We do not work in a casual environment. Our CEO is right down the darn hall. These folks walk around here looking like J crew ads. Also nobody, not even in his department, has ever seen him come or go. My investigation on this is pending as well, this is very interesting to me.

 

Oh yeah, last night I made sugar roasted pecans. It is taking some serious restraint to not eat them for breakfast. TheCount had never heard of, or eaten such a thing and mister everythingistoosweet didn't like them. More for meeeeeeee! In other CountisWhack news (well he's not really but his dumb questions are). Last night, as I said, I made jambalaya. I had the recipe out on the counter. I had the ingredients out on the counter. I had began to make the food:

 

TheCount: "What you making again baby?"

Me: "Jambalaya"

TheCount: "Are you sure?"

Me: is this dude serious? "Yep"

TheCount: "Are you making jambalaya or gumbo"

Me: ohhhh, he wants to get cut! "what did I say?"

TheCount: "Jambalaya, but I see the chicken stock out so I was wondering, cuz it's not supposed to be soup, so are you sure?"

Me: I may be a lot of things, but illiterate is not one of them "I know you see this page from my BHG cookbook on this counter with this recipe on it. I'm making what it says I'm making. It says jambalaya, it's jambalaya."

TheCount: "oookkkkkkkk" but really looking like he is convinced it will be an epic fail.

2009...Our time to shine!

 

"Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken" (Ps. 55:22)

 

 

"[Cast] all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7)

 

 

 

Simple and effective, how I'm feeling today. Today will not only be a great day, this is going to be a wonderful year!

 

One eyed bandit

I had a very busy weekend! On Friday I knew TheCount wouldn't be home (he had to work some events at church) so I took my sweet time getting home. I stopped at TJMaxx, Target, Home Goods, Shoppers, Giant, Food Lion, and CVS. When TheCount checked the bank stuff online he whipped his head around at me and asked what the heck I was smoking on Friday, lol. Man shut up, you weren't complaining when you saw that nice and full fridge :) When I finally got in the house around 8:30, I started whipping up my home made lasagna! Very, very, yummy! I'm having some for lunch today too. I also got into my hmmmmm, what to do since I'm home alone? I decided I should have a fondue party and make chocolate covered strawberries. I had a platter of strawberries made then I sat on the couch clearing out my tivo whilst dipping pineapples in chocolate. I got a new shampoo and conditioner so I also decided to wash my hair too. A perfect evening!

 

    Saturday I woke up with my eyes swollen shut. Not a good look. Then, while I was deciding what to do with my hair, some women came knocking on my door asking for a Portuguese speaking family. I stood there and looked at them like they were stupid. They asked if I knew any Portuguese families in the neighborhood. My swollen eyes and I stood there holding my hair into a ponytail staring at them like they were stupid again... knocking on my door before noon for this foolishness. They then changed their request for any family that looks Brazilian. I pointed up the stairs and shut the door. Do they think I sit at home and stare out the window playing spot the Brazilian? GO AWAY. I had a meeting at church for the childcare ministry. When I walked in the church TheCount was standing their talking to his momma (they both had to serve at a funeral) and he peeped my new hairstyle. It's called the "you got what you asked for." Every single time I go to the hairdresser or say I'm going to do my hair, TheCount asks what I'm going to do. Every single time, it's the same answer. I am a simple girl, with simple tastes, and I cannot sleep with curls, so I get a wrap. Now, I've decided that aside from leave in conditioner and some and Cantu moisturizer, I aint doing nothing to my hair. I let it air dry and I tied on a headband. How's that for different baby? You got what you asked for, a free woman! It doesn't look bad, though, so it's not like I'm trying to be evil. I just need a break from rollers, dryers, and flat/curling irons.

    During the meeting with the childcare folks, the lady kept looking at me telling me she had special plans for me. It made me nervous. I thought she was going to do something evil like take me from my babies and put me with 11 and 12 year olds (oh the horror!) but not so. They are starting a special needs class and she wants me to teach that one. Perfect! A special teacher for the special kiddies :)  I've always worked with special kids, even back in elementary school I got to go on all the field trips with the special class and help them out. The best one was the swimming pool trip, but I digress...I can't wait to help the kiddies.

   After that I went over my cousins house for a seafood dinner in celebration of his birthday. We had crablegs, the biggest shrimp I've ever seen, corn, fried oysters, and a cool salad. We stayed for a couple of hours, but after eating all the corn (their were 7 people, I ate 6 pieces of corn) my momma told me I had to go home, so I left. By the time I got home I was mad at TheCount so I shut myself in the room while he had some people over. My anger quickly subsided when he walked in with 2 new games for my DS. Ohhh yeahhhh, and there was a gas leak in the complex across from us. There were so many firetrucks and people outside it was crazy! I told my momma somebody had been murded and set on fire, my story is much more cool.

 

TheCount was sick and miserable and couldn't sleep. I finally convinced him to take some nighttime medicine at 5am. Needless to say, we didn't make it to church on Sunday because he was passed out on the couch. We didn't even leave the house. He moped around, played video games, and ate. I rearranged the bedroom and read blogs. He watched the Oscars with me and we both enjoyed them. I expected to be bored out of my mind, but I was pleasantly surprised. Now, I'm sitting at work with one contact in because my left eye wanted to act all crazy this morning. 

 

One eyed bandit-signing out.

Today is gonna be a great day!

I love TheCount! He picked out my clothes last night ( I have a really hard time matching shirts and shoes with brown pants), ironed them this morning, and put together my breakfast. Made me happy :)

 

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I really like to listen to Raphael Saadiq, but why when I try to pull him up in Napster, I can only think of the name Raheem DeVaughn? I actually listened to the whole Raheem CD before I realized that wasn't what I wanted to hear, lol. I have to hunt and hunt because when I see his name I recognize it, but I can't remember it on my own.

 

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I am making homemade lasagna for TheCount this weekend. It's his favorite food. If anybody has a good recipe, email it to me!

 

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If I'm doing you a favor, I think you should minimize the amount of work I have to do. Playing phone tag on my daytime minutes is not cool. Me leaving back out my house to drive down the street to meet you so you can hand me an envelope is also not cool. Come to my house, to my door, knock, and leave it there. I'll get up when I'm good and ready, lol.

 

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I'm expecting 3 packages in the mail (of course all to my momma's house so she can call me and yell about me using her address and never buying her anything). I'm getting a TJMaxx gift card because I cashed in my visa extras on my bank account because I'm closing it. I'm getting a purple cashmere glove and headband set (the sale was calling me, I think I ordered it while typing my last random post), and all of India.Arie's cd's that I won over at What Women Want (great blog, check it out!) this week! I love mail and packages...and things, I love things!

 

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I'm looking for good Christian dating/courtship books to help a fellow blogger train up her children in the way they should go (hey, I'm getting good at throwing Bible verses all up in stuff). All the books I have are for teenagers, she needs something for a younger crowd. I will be perusing the net today to see if the authors I like have put out a set of books for preteens ( I didn't link you cuz I don't know if you want your business in the streets, lol, but I can if you want)

 

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I snitched again, lol. Watching my 300plus pound office mate eat McDonald's for lunch, dinner, then breakfast all while on a weight loss challenge makes me mad. But it also helps keep me focused on my weight goal. Everybody that walked past with their free muffins/donuts/bagels and coffee this morning saw my water, pineapples, and pear and were like "oohhhh you all healthy and stuff", lol

 

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Y'all wanna know a secret? I kinda wanna have a baby. But I don't think TheCount and I are ready to raise a baby. I also think he would be so stressed out since he wants a more high paying job before we have kids. That all being said, I'll continue taking my birth control so we don't have no babies. Anybody have one I can borrow for a weekend? No, seriously. I may have to call and see if my favorite 3 year old in the world can stay with me one of these weekends. I'm going through baby withdrawal. When I lived with my parents we were always keeping somebodies kids.

 

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Kelly decided to be more active in her church (she's an usher, I can't do that at my church, the ushers have to hug people. All people, you know, cuz the Bible says to love all people. I don't think I can be that friendly, lol) and so did I. I finally turned in my paperwork to be a nursery worker ( I love the kiddies). I have a meeting tomorrow at 1.

 

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Yesterday 7 of us in our department went to a Japanese steakhouse for a coworkers birthday. We had a lot of fun. It was more fun watching the little girl at the other table who was.not.feeling.it. The chef kept messing with her and she was mean mugging him and pushed all the way back from the table. When he lit the big fire, the look on her face was priceless! She was looking around at her family like "y'all gonna act like this dude aint tryin' to kill us? Let's go!" I felt bad for her, but it was sooooo funny.

 

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I just got the call that my boss is working from home today! I finally have time to go run my errands :) I think I'll get myself a pretzel today. It's going to be a great day and a great weekend! Enjoy it peoples :)

 

I guess I did have a post

I just deleted the post I had typed up, I talk about people too much (it involved hot oil, obesity, and Pepsi, lol). Now I don't have a post. I could go random, but I really don't feel like it, I'm feeling a little down. Yesterday I was on a conference call at work. We are introducing 2 new people to our team. I got kind of upset while we were on the call because I felt very insignificant, very unnecessary. I'm just a contractor, I don't work for the company and I kind of feel that way. Whenever somebody has a question they ask everybody else even though, sometimes, I know I could have given a better answer. Whenever I do answer one of the guys on the team tries to make it seem like I don't know what I'm talking about (this is the power point dude from a few weeks ago). For example I was explaining a problem with one of the reports that I have to work on. He then butts in and tells me about MY report. I was actually in the room with my boss that time and I was shaking my head at her like, ummm no, he is wrong. I get the report and I do the report, so how are you going to tell ME what's on it? So it makes me just be quiet cuz I don't have time to be arguing with folks. Yesterday he sent an email to our  boss (I was cc'd on the email) asking if she wanted him to tell me to take something to somebody. I didn't realize I needed you to break it down for me. Her office is 2 steps from mine, yours is 45miles from ours, why would she need you to tell me something? In the same effort for her to tell you to tell me, she could have told me. We have the same title. I'm not stupid. I guess that's it, I feel dumb, like people think I can't do anything but deliver their messages or paperwork. I will never be the type of person to call somebody to the carpet or try and expose them cuz it's not that serious to me. Even though I really enjoy my job and coworkers, this is not what I was put on this earth to do, so I'm not going to trip off of it. I guess I'll just smile and "work as unto the Lord" and know that he'll take care of me. I'll do what I'm asked quickly and CORRECTLY and know that's all I can do. Whew, blogging really is Therapeutic. I feel better :)

taking it personally

I have a problem. I don't take criticism well at all. Well, most of the time it's not even criticism. I don't like to be challenged. I walk around like if I say it, then it is so. I don't know whats wrong with me! TheCount will just be like "you think you're always right don't you?" Honestly, yes! Even though I know it can't possibly be true, I just can't accept the fact that something may not be exactly how I want it. When we were at Be.st B.uy Saturday I already told you about the interaction between me and the manager. Well, I uhhhhhhhh, kinda didn't tell the part about when we were trying to leave the store, lol.

 

First, we had to go get the car so we wanted to leave it with them for a while. The dude said cool and that he would keep the receipt. That made no sense to me. How will I prove I bought the t.v.? I was like are you going to be here? He told me no, he would put it in the back room and he would tell the next person on duty. Negative, sir. What you gonna say? "OH yeah, dude, a black couple is gonna come in here and ask you for a t.v. give it to them?" I'm going back and forth with the dude and I was like let me take a picture of the receipt. By this time the man is rolling his eyes at me and then he just signs off on the receipt and lets us take it with us. He told us to just tell the dude at the front door when we came back to get it. What do you think the first thing the dude asked was? "Do you have your receipt?" I was like, yep! [I won't tell y'all what TheCount was doing during the whole encounter, let's just say he was a tad embarrassed]

 

Ok, so then we went to put the t.v. in the car. We had 2 people helping us and there was a bit of difficulty because the cloth seats made it hard to slide the t.v. across. Then this happened:

 

WorkerThatWasNotHelping: "What are you guys doing?"

HelpingWorkers: "Trying to put the t.v. in the car"

WorkerThatWasNotHelping: "Well you can't do that, if it doesn't go in easily we can't do it"

Me: "Mind your business, they know their job"

WorkerThatWasOutsideSmoking: "Well it's never going to work, if you ask me"

Me: "Nobody asked you either, go away" (i may or may not have uttered the words "die smoker", I honestly can't remember and if I did then I am wayyyyy to ashamed to put that in my dialog)

HelpingWorkers: "We got this"

TheCount: "TM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" followed by a very painful pluck to the ear, lol.

 

I don't know what's wrong with me! In my defense I don't think the people I was rude to heard me. It was like I meant to say it in my head, but I kind of blurted it out, but not too loud. I know they weren't attacking me personally, but I took it that way. I'm trying to work on it, I have gotten much better with TheCount. He would ask me a simple question and I would be so rude in response. Now, I pause to check myself. Last night I was making dinner

 

Me: "Babe, can you hand me the baking sheet"

TheCount: "For what?"

Me: "Because I need it."

TheCount: "But I thought you were making meatloaf?"

Me: " I am. Just hand me the pan please."

Few minutes later

 

TheCount: "I never saw anybody make meatloaf like that before"

Me: turning around with the death glare

TheCount: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you want me to shut up and leave you alone?

Me: "Yeah man! If you don't want it, don't eat it. Shut up before I break your spine with a hammer"

 

See, I'm getting better! Before, I would have been genuinely mad and irritated, now I can joke about it. The first 2 months we were married were really hard because we do/did things differently and if he questioned my method instead of just explaining why or what I was doing, I would snap at him and walk off in a huff. It took TheCount looking at me one day and asking why I had become an evil monster before I realized that I was acting like a witch. Now, we are sunshine and smiles...most of the time! And before y'all tell me I'm mean for trying to paralyze my husband, know that he threatened to hit me in the head with the shelf he was putting up. So we're even ;) and he also ate 2 of the 4 mini meat loaves I made ( I could only eat half of one before bursting at the seams).

 

{my spell check isn't working, anything you see misspelled ignore it, lol}

Long Weekend Wrap up

My Valentine's Weekend was wonderful! I have a lot of blogs to catch up on reading today (ummm, like over 200, I'm a huge lurker, lol) so I'll find out how yours went soon enough I guess. TheCount and I participated in the marriage get away with our church. It was in Reston, Va and we had such a good time! Of course we were the youngest couple there and everybody felt the need to point it out repeatedly. The view from our room was verrryyyyy interesting. One window overlooked the indoor pool, which I thought was very creepy cuz I was spying on a grandma and her granddaughter (helllooo pedophiles would love this room) and the other window looked out onto the parking garage. As in when we opened the curtain there was a person standing there, lol. On Saturday we hung out with our only other young married couple friends (they are 25, I think). We walked around shopping and looking for a good place to have a Valentine's lunch. We decided on Jackson's. It was really good! For dessert I had a chocolate waffle and ice cream. Oh myyyyyyyyyyy! I was dancing in my seat. After we went to lunch we decided to stop in Be.st B.uy. Last week TheCount and I ordered a t.v. online. It was a really good deal so we were like, hey, why not, let's do our part to stimulate the economy. Well the company tells us they need to verify our credit card. Sure, that's cool. What was not cool was what they wanted us to do. Their credit department (that is outsourced) sent us a forwarded message asking us to fax them a front and back copy of our credit card, our license, and a copy of the credit card bill. WHHHHATTTTT????????  Are you crazy? I started firing off emails to the company we ordered from as well as the company that handled their credit. We ended up cancelling the order because I thought that their request was absurd and I refused to do it. Now, back to Be.st B.uy on Saturday...TheCount and I were walking through the t.v. section and we both stop, turn or heads to the side, and look at each other and ask "is this real?" Y'all, it was a 46inch HD television for $250. We were in disbelief, so we called our friends over. They were like, well, that's what it says. We called over an employee. She was like yep! It doesn't come with a box or a remote though. The original price of the t.v. was $1,999.00. I don't think a box or a remote is worth $1749.00 so we got the t.v. When we got to the front to pay for it the cashier had to call a manager for a price override:

 

Cashier: "can you put in this override please"

Manager: looking at the price tag and the override amount "absolutely not. They cannot have this t.v. for $250. There must be something wrong"

Me: beginning to feel a bit rowdy so I turned away

TheCount: sensing my rowdiness so he begins to push me away

Manager: "Let me check with somebody else"

Somebodyelse: "yes this price is correct, put in the override"

Manager: "Why do they get the t.v. for this price. It doesn't make sense. That is too much of a discount blah, blah, blah"

Me: "Why are you hating on our blessing ma'am. You don't know what kind of God I serve"

Manager: "well, I uhhhh, I'm not hating, I'm just surprised, that uhhhhh, it's such a good deal, it's unbelievable"

Me: "I serve a God of surprises" and then I walk away while I'm still feeling spiritual so I don't embarrass my God by getting rowdy with folks.

 

I could not understand why that manager (she wasn't the manager of the entire store by the way) was so upset. Were they taking the $1749 out of her paycheck? My goodness, lol. Anyway, God really blessed us beyond what we could ask or think on Saturday.

 

Oh yeah, while we were in the store we went into the music section. They had a piano and mic set up. I embarrassed TheCount so bad! Since it was Valentine's day I wanted to sing him a love song. I sat down started jamming on the keyboard (I cannot play at all) and started singing "If I aint got you" at the top of my lungs. I had a small crowd staring in amazement at the girl making a fool of herself by the time I finished. But I had so much fun, I tried to get a little girl to do a duet with me, but she politely declined.

 

 

On Sunday, Momma, Sister, and Niece Count all came over to the apartment. Words to live by, never ever ever watch a movie with MommaCount, lol. She will work a nerve with the questions. I politely answered her dumb questions while her children looked at her and shook their heads in disappointment. Even her 7 year old niece was like "grandma, are you watching the movie?"  I remember when PapaCount was still living he would always look at her and ask "Honey, are you even paying attention? Sit down somewhere and pay attention and you'll know what's going on." I always cracked up because every time you watch a movie with her she has a barrage of questions and comments that are so unnecessary. Although I had to threaten niececount a ridiculous amount of times, we had a good time. Parent's, when you take your children into another persons home, please keep them together. I shouldn't have to threaten to put your child out on the patio or tie her up in the bathtub before you realize she has snot hanging from her nose above my carpet laughing. Or she has juice up on my couch dripping it onto my cream colored blanket, or that she is trying to open playdough on my cream carpet. Or she is rolling around on my exercise ball with her face by a sharp wooden corner. I'm all for running around and playing, we do it all the time, but you must be safe, and you MUST be clean.

 

Yesterday I ran errands with my mom all day. We had a lot of fun. I went to the grocery store afterward and when I left out I realized the cashier didn't ring something up (they take the stuff out of the basket for you). I was like, oh well and left. Then I started feeling bad. Then I got lost going home, lol. So I turned around and went back to pay for it. They let me have it for free anyway, but at least this time I had a clear conscience and I could remember my way home!

I gotta remember to pick up my prescription today!

(random title for a random post)

 

I have to draft up 2 complaint letters today about some unsavory business practices TheCount and I encountered this week. All we were trying to do is do our part and help stimulate the economy by buying a new television  and then these people got on some extra whack stuff. I'll give y'all the details next week. I need to save my rage for my letters, lol.

 

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TheCount does not listen to me! It is absolutely ridiculous the amount of times I have to tell the same story. I would think he was joking but he is dead serious each time. Every single time I tell him about my arthritic big toe he acts like he never knew about it. I'm going to make him start taking notes during our conversations.

 

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Yesterday I was soooo tired because we were up late. Why were we up? You'll never guess, lol. We were jumping. No, that's not a cool slang word for something, he was literally teaching me how to jump. I walked in the bedroom and he was running across the room and jumping over the storage bench onto the bed. I started playing too and he kept laughing because he said I was diving, not jumping. Then we had to have a jump off competition followed by lessons when it was discovered that I cannot jump. I wonder what the upstairs neighbor was thinking hearing all of the commotion?

 

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We are going to a marriage getaway tonight and tomorrow for Valentine's day. I want to go ice skating tomorrow, but my toe is swollen and hurting and I need to make it go down first. If it's still hurting, I'll have to shop the pain away!

 

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I'm doing our taxes myself, TheCount is nervous. I don't think he trusts me. I was like "babe, they have pictures! They tell you step by step, I don't even have to do math!" I think it made him even more scared.

 

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You know what? I'm a snitch. I'm proud of it. Now if we do something together, I'm not going to rat you out. Or if you ask me to keep quiet, I will. But when you do stuff and act like you dare somebody to tell. I will. I snitched on my officemate who is supposed to be participating in our office's version of The Big.gest Los.er. I was coaching her and she just fell off the wagon so hard and I'm tired of the excuses. She hasn't worked out in 3 weeks, she's back to eating pizza, mcdonalds, other fried things, and drinking multiple pepsi's a day. Yesterday the 2 pepsi's and cake did me in. I went to her teammate and was told her "look, you better stop in our office and check on her eating, she is killing y'all. She's going to start gaining weight again." Then I made plans to begin to work out with her since it was clear that my old workout buddy no longer cares about my plan to get my Beyonce body.

 

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I just took a break from typing this post to order some cashmere gloves and a headband, lol. The sales be calling me man!

 

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I don't know what TheCount is getting me for Valentine's day. I asked for some face cream, a vacuum cleaner, a trench coat, and some food (if he sent went online and ordered me some Domino's pizza and had it sent to my job, I'd probably scream with glee. Forget flowers, I need food!) but I don't think he got any of it, because I know he wasn't paying attention when I was talking. I do think I got some earrings (he forgot we had a joint account when he swiped his card at the jewelry store), not the ones he wanted to get me, because he's mad at me for losing my diamond studs. But I know he is tired of me wearing my pearl earrings everyday in my second hole so they don't close up. Every week he asks if I'm going to change my earrings and every week I respond, I will when you buy me some [more].

 

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I finally got my car out the shop yesterday (it's only been in a week and I only took it in because I failed emissions, lol). The fact that my check engine light had been on for 2 years didn't matter to me! After they plugged the hole from the nail in my tire, cleaned my breaks, put in a new roter(?) thing, fixed the oil leak, replaced the gas cap valve, and something else I'm forgetting, it was only about $500. I can deal with that, it's the first time I've put it in the shop in the 4 years I've had it. Not a bad average.

 

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It is now time for me to paint my nails. I sure hope my boss doesn't come in today, I need to leave early!

 

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What y'all doing for V-day? I think for our V-day dinner we are going to order a meat lovers pizza from somewhere and watch movies. For a special, treat, maybe he'll let me cut the heat on!

In the area: Eyebrow Threading

I get my eyebrows threaded because I got too lazy to keep plucking them (and sometimes I got a little too tweezer happy) and I can't get down with the wax. Soooooo, here are the places I've been in the area (DC-MD-VA) to get them done. I don't have thick eyebrows at all, when I say I'm going to go get them done TheCount normally looks and asks, "what eyebrows," lol!

 

 

Dupont Threading

 

This is probably the best one for you Pink, it's right off the Dupont Circle Metro stop (walk around the corner, she'll have a sign on the sidewalk). If you are going in the evening, make an appointment, it gets crowded. If you can go during your lunch break :) you'll have no problem. I will say this...do not DO NOT DO NOT let anybody but Natasha, the owner, touch your eyebrows. Let me repeat that DON'T LET ANYBODY BUT NATASHA DO YOUR EYEBROWS! Call my sister that had a scab underneath her brow because some janky assistant was trying to do too much and ask her why, lol. Natasha ended up correcting the sloppy job the assistant did but my sister was in so much pain when the other woman was doing it because she was pinching her skin. Only Natasha, and it's $12.

 

Random kiosk in Arundel Mills Mall

 

As embarrassed as I am, I had to get my eyebrows done in the middle of the mall, lol. I had a Christmas party to go that evening to and I looked a busy mess. Y'all my eyebrows looked FABULOUS after, even if I had to deal with the crowd staring at me making comments. However, this was the most painful experience because she gripped a lot of hair at one time. I was visibly wincing. It was worth it when I got up and everybody oooohhhhed and aaahhhhhhed over me :) I think it was $12, TheCount paid as I entertained the crowd.

 

Salon Diva

 

It's in Gaithersburg. I was googling random places and since it was right around the corner from my job I decided to go check it out. I went hoping to see somebody else in there getting done so I could make a decision. Unfortunately there was only 1 person in the shop and she worked there. Knowing V-day was coming up this weekend and I, once again, looked a bushy mess, I decided to take the risk. It was the least painful, like barely any pain at all! She used a very thin thread, I think that's why. If you can pull out a strand of hair without, you can get her to do your brows.  I look lovely and it only took a few minutes. Downside was she costs $15, but since she is much closer and more private than the other places I went, she will be my new go to woman. I didn't catch her name, I think it started with an S. She was the first person on the left side behind the couch.

 

Hope this helps! If anybody knows any other places in the area, let me know!

Farewell Friends

I'm sitting on the couch convinced I have Salmonella. I'll spare you the details. Since I want to go out bringing a smile to people's faces here are a few pictures of some funny things.

You know how you get random mail addressed to you or the current resident? This one confused the heck out of us.

So you mean the last resident here was named Big Monster? Or was this a joke from Papa John's?

Do you see the prices on this receipt? Do you see them? Clearance man!!!!!! I got a brown sweater, a blue shirt and a magenta shirt. They are cuteeeeeeeee and different for me. I'm wearing the blue one tomorrow. Good prices always make me smile. Don't ask me why I was at the mall in the middle of a work day getting these clearance prices, but I was, and I got them (I also got my eyebrows threaded too).

This is a picture of my new pajamas. Since TheCount has decided that we don't need heat in the winter I found the ugliest most non figure flattering pj's in target. Aint they ugly? Hahahaha!


This is a close up of the pattern. When I bought these the cashier looked gave me a serious side eye!



Can y'all tell I finally found my camera, lol? I've been a picture taking and uploading fool!

Well, I had a ball!

My mom and my matching Pyrex carrying cases. Read on, you'll see why this picture is even relevant (I'm just too tired to drag it down to where it should be).




I had such a good time this weekend :)

On Friday I made a really good dinner. I simply revamped the Barbecue Beef that I made on Thursday. It didn't come out how I expected it to on Thursday ( I thought it would be the very liquidy kind, you know what I'm talking about?) and I was trying to think of what I could do to make it taste better. I saw a picture of a grown up BLT that Tyler Florence made and a great idea was born! I cooked up some bacon, added lettuce and tomato and tossed the barbecue in some smoked hickory sauce. It was sooooooo much better than when we had it on Thursday. Now I can add it into the rotation, but I still need to get a good recipe for a nice saucy bbq beef sandwich.

TheCount stayed up all night playing video games. Seriously, all night. I fell asleep from about 8-12 he was still playing. When I fell out again at 5am, he was still playing. When I woke up at noon, he was passed out on the couch next to the controller. When he finally got up he took me to paint pottery! It was a very nice surprise. TheCount got the great idea that he wanted to paint an olive tree on his tile. Let's just say that somebody with hands as big as his, shouldn't be trying to do such intricate details. We ended up turning his into a mosaic tile (after I politely pointed out that what he was doing was not very nice looking, lol) and I had to help get into the small areas. We were there for 4 hours working. These are the pictures of us working on our masterpieces. I'll show the finished products when we get them back next week.My tealight holder that matches our bedroom.

TheCount working on his mosaic tile.

On Sunday we went to church. We had a guest preacher from the U.K, Dr. Ramson Mumba.
He was good! I enjoyed it thoroughly. He was funny and very educated. I like it when people come to you with knowledge, not just fluff. After church we went to my parents house because we were celebrating my great-uncle's 81st birthday and I had to help my mom cook. TheCount wanted to wash his car, and my dad was pressed to go out and help him. My daddy aint never helped me wash my car! They were out there for like 2 hours. I was making the same chicken wings that I made for the Super Bowl, and I also made roasted potatoes. We also took macaroni and cheese and green beans. The food was so good. My mom was very proud of my cooking skills. We walked in with our matching Pyrex sets and everybody was talking about how we have been showing off a lot since I got married. What can I say, lol, you know how I do! Everybody also noticed how happy my daddy is to finally have a son. If TheCount told my daddy he planned to go play in traffic hopping on a pogo stick, my daddy would follow right behind him.My daddy crouched down putting air in TheCount's tires

Time for male bonding.

I watched half of the Grammy's with my mommy while TheCount was at a church meeting, now I'm home watching the rest. I've enjoyed them thus far because I love music and talent. I also enjoy hearing Lil Wayne perform like a human not under the influence of anything, lol. JHud made me cry, but so does everything. Ohhh I really liked Justin Timberlake and the Rev. because I love their voices. My momma has an unhealthy obsession with Will.i.am. Like seriously, she thinks he's the only one that should ever perform or speak. When Jay-Z was rapping with Coldplay (or whoever it was), my momma was like, "why does he exist? He's no Will.i.am." HAHAHAHAHA oh mommy, Will.i.am aint checking for you and I am so surprised that she even knows who he is. She saw him performing once and it made her cry and since then, she has been hooked! [ok, album of the year winner...who? I guess I'm out of the loop, I don't even know who they are]

Well good peoples I need to go wash off my facemask and watch one of my favorite episodes of Family Matters. Laura gets accepted to Harvard (but can't go because of finances) and Waldo takes tap dancing lessons (for some reason I love him in this episode). Then it's off to bed!

Ideas Please!

When you are having a slow day at work, what do you do for fun? Any fun websites you visit? Do you go hang out with coworkers, slit your wrist with a dull rusty butter knife, or read a book? Perhaps you disappear for a much needed hair or eyebrow appointment (I won't knock you, I've done it before and I need to do both now, lol!) I need A LOT of suggestions because by 9am I am spinning around in my chair singing to the construction men in the building across from me.

 

Help me out folks! As you know, if I don't get sufficient answers I will post this every single day until somebody helps me out, lol.

 

(oh and don't say ask for more work. I'm a contractor and I can't have access to any other clients but my own. I do my own work very, very quickly. I've helped out others, but then they take advantage and ask me to do things like count 250 sheets of paper because they think the copier messed up [true story, and no I didn't do it])

Randomly Random

It feels like Friday. I thought it was. It makes me sad that it's not.

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My eyes are swollen. Not a cute look, lol.

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Bible study was really good last night. No, like excellent, one of the best services ever in life (and I've been to a lot of services). For anybody wondering, I attend this church.

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Our heating bill was $150 this month. TheCount was not happy, it wasn't too much to me, nothing we can't afford. I thought I was going to get sent to time out the way he was acting, lol. Since he only believes in spending money on things we don't need, like tv's, a new bass, and speakers, he turned the heat down. Wayyyyyy down. Heck, who needs to stay warm in winter? Not us clearly because our thermostat is set to 60. I now spend my time sitting in the bed with my heated mattress pad. Bump that, I should not have to see my breath in my own house. Good Lord, why does TheCount torture me so?

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This month I vow to sleep more! I will get at least 8 hours of sleep (9 is my perfect number) at least 5 nights a week. If I do it, I bet by March I will feel and look like a different person. I won't be so cranky, I won't be slouched over at my desk, my skin always clears up when I get appropriate sleep, and I'll probably be on time for work since I won't turn off the alarm and go right back to sleep for an hour or two.

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I just ordered myself a new backpack. I have big plans for this bag! It's cool and has all these compartments. I met my best friend because of my bookbag. I was in college and had a purple bookbag, she thought it was cool that she could always find me in  a crowd because I was the only one with that bag. The next semester, she was determined to top me so she got a bright pink bookbag. Little did she know that for Christmas I got a purple care bears bookbag, so once again I stood out because I was the only person on campus with a character bookbag. That's when she told me the story of her trying to one up me, and it sealed our fate as friends :) The next year I had a Spiderman bookbag. The girls would always be like "oh my, why do you have that bookbag." My response was always "it makes me smile!" Dudes would always just tell me it was cool. I wanted a black barbie bookbag, but TheCount wouldn't let me get it, he said he drew the line at barbie.

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The idiot of the week:

Idiot: I can't wait until spring

Me: Yeah, I know what you mean

Idiot: See, if God were smart, he would have made spring right after the Super Bowl. Cold is nice for the holiday's, but now I'm over it. February and March shouldn't be cold.

Me: Looking around the elevator panicking contemplating just jumping off because I'm sure it is now headed straight to hell!

Weirded Out Wednesday

I woke up at 1am to find TheCount standing at the foot of the bed singing America the Beautiful butterball nekkid while waving his boxers above his head.

 

Me: looking horrified What are you doing?

TheCount: Don't judge me, I was really feeling the moment

Me: rolls over and goes back to sleep

TheCount: Puts on boxers and gets in bed as if he was not just acting a fool

All Night Prayer

To close out our January fast at church we have an all night prayer the last Friday of the month of January. It's a lot of fun, last year it was from 7pm-7am. I only made it until about 3:30, I think, before I had to head home and get in the bed. My church is quite hype so it was no surprise when people decided to do a conga line in the wee hours of the morning. Around and around the sanctuary, lol. Some people were just so hyped up they just felt like running. Our church is big and I do not recommend running around the sanctuary unless you are in shape because you will be embarrassed when you fall out from exhaustion. Anyway, this year TheCount and I got to church at 10 because I needed to take a nap beforehand. The only thing that got on my nerves was this one dude who kept messing with TheCount. TheCount was very quiet and kept putting his head down (we were in the lighting/sound booth). I know TheCount wasn't sleep but the man kept being all loud talking 'bout wake up man! I was giving him the evil eye and kept telling him he wasn't asleep. The night of all night prayer was exactly 2 years after TheCounts daddy passed away (1/30/07) so he just wanted to keep to himself, he was missing his daddy. TheCount did very well and didn't snap on dude but would just look up at him and go back to what he was doing.

 

Our church is located right off of a major road. While we were in church on Friday night a person fell asleep while driving down that road and their car started flipping over and rolled through our parking lot. I saw security run in and get our Pastors, but I didn't know why, apparently that was it. The lady got out of the car unscathed. Not a singe scratch and not one of the cars in our parking lot suffered any damage. She came in to join us for all night prayer after that, lol.

 

I don't know why, but this year all night prayer only lasted until 1am.

PastorT: All right as we close out...

Congregation: CLOSE OUT????

PastorT: All right, as we CLOSE OUT, be careful out there

Congregation: looking around trying to figure out why we are leaving before we get to the conga line or the grocery store trips for more water

PastorT: Oh, by the way, the fast is over

Congregation: WHOOOHOOOOOOOOOO let's go to ihop

PastorT: Now look! Don't go out there and eat like some fools that will never eat again. The food will still be there, you don't have to eat it all in one day.

Congregation: Hahahahaha...let's go to ihop

 

I'm not going to tell you how many people got sick because they put too much food in their systems too quickly. We haven't been eating meats, sweets, dairy, or white flower/potatoes for a month. Perhaps pancakes, waffles, sausage, bacon, hash browns, coffee, and ice cream wasn't the best meal to eat, lol (and Pink, it wasn't me that ate all that so don't go fussing at me).

 

We did get one major prayer answered during the fast. My sister in law started coming back to church. She hasn't come in 2 years, since TheCount's daddy died. She was married to TheCount's brother. He passed away in 2005, when she was 7 months pregnant with their child. They also had 3 other children (1 hers, 2 his). She kept coming to church even after that. During the looonnnngggg custody battle with his kids' birth mother (she is a drug addicted, lazy somebody), she kept coming to church. When TheCount's daddy died, she got mad and hurt that God would keep doing to our family. It didn't help that her parents who had been married for over 30 years also got divorced. She was hurting, and rightfully so. For the past 2 years we have been praying that she would come back. 3 weeks ago during altar call I was looking and I was like "heyyyyy I recognize that weave, it's sis-n-law"! You remember the story of the prodigal son in the bible? When the dad through a big feast when his son came home? That's how everybody treated her. When they saw her in the lobby they did a double take then would come running over screaming. It was hilarious. People timidly asked, "you coming back next week?" She said she was and she did. You know old folks don't hold their tongue, the pastors momma was like, "bout time you brought your tail back in here." Sis-n-law has a sense of humor so she wasn't offended or anything. Good times man! But I am glad to be eating normally again. Today's lunch? Scallops in garlic sauce with white rice! Yummmy.

We are the Champions my friiiennndddddd

Hear ye, hear ye! All of you hoping for an upset in the Super Bowl, are now at home or work upset because of course the Steelers won :)

 

Pre-Game

  Since we were going to watch the Super Bowl with some new folks, we had to bring a dish, because it's just rude to show up empty handed. I was a little nervous because I don't like cooking for other people because I'm scared I'll mess up. I decided on some chicken wings that they had in the Food Network magazine...delicious! I was so proud when the man of the house came up to me and told me my chicken wings were banging :)

 

We almost didn't make it to their house to watch the game because I was about to get into with a lady in the Food Lion parking lot. Y'all this lady was cussing a baby out. The little girl couldn't have been more than 6 and this woman was dropping F-bombs on her like there was no tomorrow. She was parked next to our car and once I realized she was talking to a child I tried to hit her with the car door. Since we were in TheCount's friends Lexus, TheCount jumped once he realized what I was doing and caught the door. So then I was just getting mad and I started saying stuff like "you don't cuss out no baby, what is wrong with you. She is a child that made a mistake, how dare you..." as TheCount is stuffing me in the car. The lady was glaring at me, but didn't dare say anything because she only has the strength to cuss at children for spilling juice.

 

The Game

 

Jennifer Hudson did tha thang, lol. Did y'all hear  her? Amazing!

 

During the game I had a 2 hour text battle with one of TheCount's friends. He was supposed to come watch the game with us but he decided to stay home. His friend is always going against me since the day I slapped him ( I can't remember what he did, but I was so offended I couldn't help myself). I wanted to put some of the texts up here but they only made sense in the context of the game so I won't. That was a good game though! I thought we were going to lose it. I had my terrible towel covering my face and I was crying out in agony. TheCount was finding my misery quite hilarious. By the end of the night I had everybody in the house waving my terrible towel around singing the praises of my team, lol. However, it should have never been that close! I'll have to make a trip up to Pittsburgh to talk to the team in the off season.We will not put TM through that again! I think I will also arrange a reunion for Mike Tomlin and Will.i.am because I am convinced they are brothers and even though Will.i.am said he didn't want to meet his dad, I think he would enjoy his brother Mike.

 

Funniest line of the night:

Lady at the party: "Black folks are on the come up, it's our time to shine. Head of the country, head of the republicans and super bowl champion coach. Aint no stopping us now..."

 

The Commercials

 

Budweiser- Let the horses go. That was stupid and very boring

 

Pepsi- They had us screaming laughing! If I drank soda, Pepsi would have beat coke (ummmm what was up with that bug commercial?) and had me at the store buying it up.

 

Doritos- Y'all why did my sister call me and tell me she went out and got doritos because of the commercial, lol. We are some dang fools and advertisers must love it.

 

Career Builder- Did y'all see when that man was drinking gold! HAHAHAHAHAHA The whole house was like "is that gold?" in unison.

 

Don't get me started on g.od.ad.dy ugghhhhhh those commercials anger me every single year and I love me some Danica Patrick, but that was a bit much.

 

What were your favorite commercials and HOW BOUT THEM STEELERS?