Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Ummm, should I be offended?

You know the saying, "it's not what you say but how you say it"? Well TheCount and I have come up with another one, "it's not what you say but WHO says it."

This is the phrase that we keep hearing, "I can't believe you're getting married." Said like this, I can't believe you're gettING MARRIED! You know, with the excitement building, lol. Most of you probably read that with some excitement, like how most people say it. People who have watched us grow up, our friends that have watched our relationship grow, and our parents are all super excited and can't believe it's finally here when we tie the knot.

But what about the girl from my parent's church that I don't get along with? We stayed in a hotel together for a week at a conference few years ago and we bumped heads like you wouldn't believe. Whenever I saw her after that it was awkward and uncomfortable. I saw her in DSW yesterday when I was with my mom. I saw her and turned around to go hide. Unfortunately my mom saw her too and called out to speak. I was like "ma, I already saw her I was trying to hide." My mom was like "she saw you too, she was trying to hide as well, so y'all need to speak." So we speak and I give her a genuine hug and told her I liked her outfit, because i really did. She asked what we were shopping for, my mom told her "the wedding". She looked at me and asked when it was:

Me: It's this Saturday
Her: Oh my goodness, I can't believe you're getting married
Me: Yep yep, I am

Then I started an internal conversation with myself because this is how the sentence sounded when she said it. I can't believe YOU'RE getting married. As in I can't believe it's you and not me because I'm older and prettier. I can't believe it's you and not me because you are ugly/tacky/rude/wear glasses/have acne or whatever their issue seems to be with me. Just to make sure I wasn't being dramatic, I called my voice of reason, TheCount. I reminded him who she was, he remembered well since he had to stop my sister from killing the girl in her sleep (that was a funny funny night). I told him the conversation and he was like yeah, a couple of people I don't know that well have said that too and it's like ummmm, bitter much? I was cracking up because I thought he was going to tell me I was reading too much into it. But the whole time I was talking to her I kept getting the feeling that she was in her feelings about me getting married. In her defense she is prettier than me on the outside, but her insides suck. She is offensive, overly aggressive and rude!

But I don't want to spend this post beating her down because 2 years ago, I had this same conversation with my best friend. We were in my dorm room and she saw I had a wedding magazine still in the plastic. Knowing how much I love magazines she asked why I hadn't opened it when I had it for over a month:

Me: I can't
Her: Why not?
Me: Because I'm upset. Everybody else that met their boyfriends way after TheCount and I were dating are already engaged and getting married or married. Everybody else is having babies and what am I doing? (by this point I was crying my eyes out)
Her: You are waiting for God's timing.

That conversation cemented our friendship. That was the best thing she could have said to me. We opened the magazine, we dreamed about our time, talked about our expectations, It was really nice. I was so busy hating on what other people had that I couldn't celebrate what I did have and I was also blocking God from doing good things for me because of all my bitterness. BestFriend helped me so much that day, I bet she doesn't even realize it.

I say that to say, celebrate other people's accomplishments. Rejoice with those who are rejoicing, I assure you, your time will come.

 
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