Monday, April 20, 2009


When TheCount and I first moved into our apartment, we had nothing but a mattress and a microwave. Everything else was given to us by our parents and extended family. Dishes? Thanks to a lovely auntie on his side that sent our wedding gift 3 months early. Bed frame/television/silverware? His momma. Love seat? My cousin. Our tables and dining room set? A furniture rental place that sold their old furniture (good quality, low prices, we still be pressed to go in there). I say that to say, I know what it's like to start out with not too much. At one point the combined total of our bank accounts was less that $10. For somebody that always made a point to keep at least 3 paychecks in her checking account, that was terrifying for me. We weren't trying to do to much, just keep our apartment, eat some basic food, and have toilet tissue. I can thankfully say we are doing much, much better, and we no longer have to turn people away when they want to come visit, lol. Our friends were all understanding though when we used to tell them we weren't ready for company. One dude, was like, shoot, we don't need chairs, we can sit on the floor and we'll bring the pizza! It was a lovely thing :)
Ok, now to the point of the post...priorities. What is important to you, impressing folks, or making sure your family is comfortable? I went to a housewarming cookout of an old coworker over the weekend. If you've been reading for a while, this is the girl that got married 2 weeks after me and I was in her wedding (please refer to October '08 posts, most notably 10/26/08 [i think] when I did a recap of her interesting wedding. I was happy that they got a house, but to be honest, I had low expectations. The house was nice. Lots of windows, hardwood floors and such. They've been there for a few months now, and they lived together for 7 years (or 13, I can't remember which so I chose the lower number) prior to buying their house. They also have 2 kids, a 4 year old girl and 2 year old boy. Both kids are special. I'm not sure what's wrong exactly, but I know they have seizures, and the girl doesn't speak clearly. They both have serious skin issues with eczema and scabs and odor. After spending a few hours at their house this weekend, I'm convinced that some of these issues are because their parents are trifling as all get out. I'm sorry, but I texted my sister from the cookout to tell her where I was and she said it best, "why are you there, I thought we decided after that wedding we were cutting her out of our lives." I soooo should have done that. Let me just go ahead and provide a list of things since recapping the whole time would probably make me shoot myself.
1. The house was dirty. I'm not talking cookout clutter from triflin guests. I'm talking all types of dirt/food/dust on the floor. Old decorations (popped balloons and such) still up on the walls from a previous get together. A dirty fridge and kitchen in general. The kids feet were BLACK from walking on the house floors. And you expect me to eat here and you couldn't swiffer the dang floor? And I saw a swiffer in the corner too!
2. They had no curtains and the blinds were ripped up. Dirty sheets were hanging in front of the windows.
3. The kids don't have beds. They sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor...the dirty floor. Remember, these folks have been living together for 7 years. At least get your kids a dang mattress.
4. The kids don't have appropriate clothes. The little boys onesie was brown. It used to be white. I went to help her daughter put on some shoes so she could go outside. I had the choice between winter boots or white dress shoes. Those were her only shoes.
5. I was on the phone with another of our friends that was supposed to come but had enough sense not to and she was like, did you get her a gift? I said yeah, but I didn't give it to her yet. My friend said that when she called her to invite her to the cookout she said, "oh, and make sure you bring a gift. It's our housewarming." Well I guess that took the guesswork out didn't it? Tacky self.
6. The final straw that made me leave was her interaction with her kids. TheCount and I had been playing with her daughter (y'all TheCount is mean. He made me take her in the kitchen and wipe her down before she sat on his lap. Her nose was runny, face and hands covered in food, and she kept trying to kiss him. He wasn't having it, it was kinda nasty.) when she came back from getting crabs. Her daughter said she hurt her finger. This chick goes in the kitchen and gets a clorox disinfecting wipe and starts wiping her daughter with it. For the love of God it says keep out of reach of children and NOT INTENDED FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE. The little girl is screaming because she has some sort of blister on her hand and her hands and arms are covered in dry skin and scabs. Y'all I was so mad at these parents I didn't know what to do except say we had to go.
Me: "well we gotta go, TheCount is going to play basketball tonight.
Her: "what does thats got to do wit chu?"
Me: "well, he's my husband, and my ride."
Her: "so, tell him to come back and pick you up."
Me: do you want a slap? It's 7:30 I am not staying until your husbands ghetto drunk friends that tried to hit on me at the wedding show up "well girl, you know we live far." mannn that line gets us out of soooooo much stuff!
Now, before y'all try and say, "Dag TM why you hating, they struggling, times is hard." Let me tell you about these folks. Remember their wedding? It was a $30,000 wedding...and they are on welfare. This cookout? They had beef and pork ribs, burgers, hot dogs, LOBSTER TAILS, crabs, chicken, shish kabobs, green beans, potato salad, baked beans, macaroni and cheese, cakes, brownies and more. They also had sooooooooooo much liquor that it took up more space than the food. Where the heck are your priorities? Your children sleep on a dirty floor. Are you kidding me? The dude even had the nerve to remind us that they had an open bar at the wedding for 5 hours. Do you want a cookie? We don't drink fool, we aint impressed. When TheCount went out to fix our plate he was like "here have some lobster, you know how we roll." TheCount declined, but he put it on his plate anyway talking 'bout "don't worry man,we got plenty." I'm not even going to tell y'all about their daggon cheesecake factory obsession. He works there and at the wedding he was like for y'alls favors we have cheesecake factory cheesecake. People went looking for it. You know what we found? Coupons to get a free slice of cheescake...with a $25 purchase. Why did they do that mess again? You know what's impressive to me? A clean house for your clean kids that you proudly show your guests a  housewarming so we can celebrate your success and not frown upon you choices.
It's best that I don't attend any more of their functions, cuz I don't seem to be able to be in her presence and not pass judgement. Daggon clorox wipe on your baby's raw skin...
Feel free to tell me I'm a horribly mean judgemental person.


laughing808 said...

I can't and don't blame you.....I've seen too many occasions where people put any and everything above and over their children. Young mothers at the mall with expensive luxury purses, clothes and cars......but living in an apartment where there's barely food to feed the kids. Oh and let's not talk about parents that dont participate in the children's education, but you can make it to happy hour????

But you aint heard it from me, and I aint one to judge.

Give her a call every now and again, then keep it rolling.

pserendipity said...

Aw hell naw. That made me mad just reading it. You gonna have lobster tails on the barbeque and your kids looking a mess? Tri-fa-linnnnggggg.

Anonymous said...

That's terrible. Today I saw this mother kick her daughter's hand to stop her from picking up a penny on the street. I hate when people don't take care of their kids! WIC and welfare are not for you to get your hair and nails done.

Product Junkie Diva said...

I certainly would have left that house. Poor kids....

kisz4tj said...

I just realized my jaws have been clenched the entire time reading this. I started to highlight what I was pissed off about, but as it turns out I'm pissed about all of it. ALL.OF.IT!

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