Sunday, August 10, 2008


Ok, so a couple of weeks ago I lamented on how tired I was. The oh so lovely Pink tried to subtly suggest that I was pregnant. I still don't think she believes me when I tell her that being pregnant is an impossibility for me right now. Impossible!!!!!! Well I have still been super tired and other things with my body have been a little off (don't want to go into detail and gross you guys out!)
Last week I was late to work every day because I just couldn't get up. Today I missed church again because I just couldn't get out of bed. I was buried under the covers just thinking about all the good stuff I was missing at service because I couldn't move. My mom has been trying to make me go to the doctor but I don't want to for numerous reasons. The first time (toward the end of high school) I went to the doctor about being tired and stuff she spent the whole visit trying to educate me on STD's. That's all fine and good except, 1. I knew all that, and 2. I wasn't even having sex and the fact that she said she didn't believe me when I told her that turned me off to her. The next time I went was in college. This time the doctor focused on my swollen ankles and knees. She made me go to a rheumatologist because she was concerned. The rheumatologist diagnosed me with Lupus. Ok, whatever. I just want to not be tired! When I used to actually go to my follow up appointments she managed to make me mad to so I stopped going. The last visit I went to I told her about the patches of my hair falling out and how I was so tired. Her response "oh you're just probably depressed." Well then doctor lady what should I do??????? It's like why go to the doctor if they aren't going to do anything about it? I could spend that $20 copay on snacks and a fluffy pillow so my time in bed will be more enjoyable.

Today my dad was really concerned that I was once again sleeping and I turned down chocolate chip pancakes because I couldn't get out of bed.

PopaTM: Thera you know stress makes you tired. It gives you headaches, and it changes your eating patterns.
Me: yeah but I'm not really stressed
PopaTM: Have you stepped back and looked at your life? You have a new job, your fiance is starting a new job tomorrow, ya'll are looking for a place to live, and you're getting married in 2 months. Honey, if that's not stressful I don't know what is.
Me: Hmmm, you might be right daddy.

When I look at stress I normally associate it with worry (which I try not to do, I know it will work out) and complaining. But I guess just going through life changes can be stressful on the body without you even realizing it. The thing I am most apprehensive about is the apartment situation. Your home is your castle, ya know? I want the count and I to enjoy where we live not have it being a miserable situation. Well I'm off to take a nap because I'm still freaking tired. I'm sure mamaTM is gonna come down here fussing soon, lol. Oh lawd, and when the count finds out I didn't go to church today (he had to work) he's gonna fuss too! Maybe I should fake an illness to get them off my back. Ughhh to tired to do that!


blog design by