RanTheCountdom

Get it? The title is TheCount in Random! HAHAHAHA .Well, I thought it was genius when I came up with it at midnight. Last night TheCount provided me with so much blog material that even he knew it and asked if I was going to blog about him. Heck yeah you sorry sucka!

 

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I don't ever have to worry about my hater stats getting low because I will always have one hater in my life...TheCount. Seriously, dude is always trying to throw salt in my game. Last night I was watching the Jazmin Sullivan's new video on my phone and I was singing along. Now everybody knows it's my dream to be a one woman band. I want to sing lead and background and play the intro and outro on my flute. Well I was singing my little heart out last night and I notice TheCount's face is all balled up

TheCount: Can you please stop singing

Me: But I'm the one man band

TheCount: No, you're not. This is the not the calling for your life, God never intended this for you

Me: How do you know?

TheCount: Because I can hear you!

 

Then it was my turn for the balled up face. He's just a hater, he doesn't want me to be successful and leave him, I understand.

 

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Since he wouldn't let me sing along to YouTube anymore, I decided to do the one thing that makes him even madder. Have random food outbursts. As I was sitting on the couch I would just holler out "Yummmyyy brownies and ice cream" or sing out "steak and potatoes." Every time I walked in the kitchen I would sing an ode to the Frosted Flakes box. I even created a waffle house rap dedicated to my favorite meal grilled  cheese, a waffle, and hashbrowns. He kept looking at me, but I just stayed engrossed in what I was doing like I was oblivious the the fact that I was hollering out about foods. I don't know why it makes him so angry, but it makes me laugh so much, lol.

 

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We were supposed to go to the gym last night. When TheCount got in at 7, I was passed out on the couch without a thought about dinner. He finished off what I made yesterday and started to play video games. When I woke up I was trying to cheer him on because he was losing. This bitter dude tells me he doesn't need my cheers. It aint my fault you're losing, don't take it out on me. So I started cheering on his opponent. Y'all TheCount kept losing game after game, we never even made it to the gym. First I felt bad, until TheCount, whose record was 8-9 decided to play somebody whose record was 152-2. Seriously dude? You have lost 5 games in a row and you think you can beat this dude? Once again, I tried to offer wifely support, but he snarled at me he didn't want my cheers and we all know what happened next. He lost.  For 3 hours he played and for 3 hours he lost. Good times man.

 

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I had a nightmare last night. It was really scary. At the end I was trying to scream because a serial killer (it was this girl I went to elementary school with) was trying to cut my face up with a scalpel and TheCount and my Pastor were trying to save me but the couldn't. My hands were cut up and bloodied from protecting my face. Anyway I kept opening my mouth to scream but I couldn't. When I finally did I was screaming in real life and it woke me up. I actually started crying and tried to wake TheCount up because I was scared somebody was in the apartment (there where the dream was taking place and the people who did our quarterly pest spray left our apartment unlocked yesterday). After politely shaking him with no success, I punched him in the back and he got up I told him I was scared and he wrapped his arms around me and I closed my eyes and drifted back off to sleep.

Conversations...wait for it, wait for it...In Random

Yesterday I had a snow day, or rather an ice day. I wasn't even going to attempt to drive in it. Today I had to chisel an inch of ice off of my windshield and then struggle to get out of our parking lot, nasty indeed.

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You know what I don't like. When I make a statement and somebody constantly tries to discount it, especially when I'm not asking an opinion. A coworker and I were discussing the snow the day before yesterday:

 

Me: Yeah, I'll probably leave earlier than usual today

Him: Why?

Me: Because I don't do well in the snow and I don't want it to be dark when I have to drive in it

Him: It's not dark when you leave

Me: It's dark before I get home, and traffic will probably be even more slow because of the snow

Him: Oh you'll be fine

Me: Sure will, and I'll also be out of here

Him: Your car is little, does it drive well in the snow, mine doesn't

Me: No, hence the reason why I will be leaving early

Him: Oh you'll be fine

 

 

Let's reread that shall we. At any point did I ask his opinion, or ask for his permission? If I said I was leaving early because I wanted to go home and pick lint off the carpet that is my freaking prerogative! The later in the day it gets the slicker the roads will become and I don't plan on being on them.

 

I had another discussion with a coworker that doesn't work in my building yesterday. We were preparing a presentation and he wanted to make sure I knew how to do it. Cool...until he acted like I was a darn fool, lol.

 

Him: Now select paste special and do it as a bitmap

Me: Well it looks more clear if you just do regular paste

Him: Well how did you do it

Me: I copied it, then I pasted it

Him: Did you use control + c?

Me: I hit copy then I hit paste

Him: Did you paste special or export it into the slide

Me: I.hit.copy AND THEN I.hit.paste

Him: So did you paste it as a bitmap

Me: I went to the home tab. I clicked on the 2 sheets of paper icon located under the scissors icon and then I went to the slide and I clicked on the clipboard to paste it.

Him: Well that's not right, it won't paste correctly if you do that

Me: I JUST DID IT. IT LOOKS BETTER THAN YOUR WAY

Him: Send it to me

Me: Ok

---minutes later----

Him: Oh that does look clearer. I don't know what you did so I'll send them to you to do it

Me: I HIT COPY AND I HIT PASTE uhhhh just send them to me

 

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MamaTM called me with this nonsense the other day:

 

MamaTM: What's the name of this movie I'm watching?

Me: The Family That Preys

MamaTM: What kind of pray?

Me: P-R-E-Y

MamaTM: Ohhhhh, now it all makes sense

Pictures...in Random

Yesterday Pink said she needed a new laptop because her "y" key broke. Girl puhhhleasseee that aint nothing. Take a look at my laptop! Keep in mind the sound no longer works (it's mostly static) and I have a battery life of 5 minutes...literally! I also have no stylus for my cool screen that you can write on. My daddy and I went to tons of stores to try and steal one from the model computers but to no avail!


My busted screen with the support sticking out. The crack is beginning to run up the screen.

My computer is braced up against the side of the couch because it won't sit up on its own anymore.



This is what my computer looks like closed. It is completely busted up. Now this is why I need a new, cheap, durable, laptop :)




Growing up I always said I would keep fresh flowers in my house because I like them. This is the picture of the current Carnation arrangement I have on display. Ignore the mess on the table, lol.




This is TheCounts man chair (I said I would post this weeks ago). It has his redskins blanket on it and his house shoes next to it. Aint our new furniture grand? The new couch looks just like this chair but bigger.

Stuck in Random

Apparently I can't form cohesive stories this week so here is another round of random musings from my brain:

 

I am in the market for a new laptop. Any suggestions? It has to be inexpensive. Why? Because I'll break it just like I did this one (I'll try and take a picture, it's truly sad. It can't be fancy. Why? I just told you I'll break it! My last one had a swivel screen and a stylus. I been lost the stylus and the screen is busted and will no longer hold itself up. It can't be a mini. Why? Cuz I can't see!

 

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It's snowing here. Pretty hard too. I think I may leave early because I've stopped taking the Beltway and my way home is a 2 lane road. I don't want to be driving in the dark with snow on the ground. Why? I keep telling y'all I can't see!

 

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Me: " I think I should have my own reality show."

TheCount: "Why, so they can watch you sleep?"

 

I got 9 hours of solid sleep last night. Y'all I hit the ground running this morning. TheCount looked scared, lol. I was dancing and singing and running around the house. I think 9 might be my magic number, even now I'm typing like I'm on speed or something.

 

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Last night I went to Shoppers to get groceries, it's triple coupon week. I saved $8.00! I think that hussy didn't scan one of my coupons though. But it's cool, my Worcheshire  (yeah that's probably spelled wrong, lol) sauce and evaporated milk ended up being free with my coupons! I was cheesing away as I saw my total drop down to $16.00.

 

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I was talking to my friend about birth control over the weekend. She asked did it make me gain weight. I told her yeah about 15 pounds but mostly in the butt and thighs. She thought that was a good thing. Ummm not when your butt and thighs are already plenty big! Shoot, my clothes fit me perfectly before. I had to start shimmying into them after that weight. And that weight came with cellulite and stretch marks. Now it's finally coming off and my stomach is back to flat. As in when I sit down it no longer folds over itself. Makes me smile :) This new birth control I'm on is the best :) No more headaches, weight gain, dizziness, nausea, mood swings or crying spells, and I can wear my contacts again!

 

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I bet as soon as I publish this, I'll think of at least 5 more random things I meant to say!

 

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Don't forget to tell me your laptop recommendations (or ones that I should avoid like the plague), if you have one. Remember, cheap, durable, and with a screen big enough for a blind girl!

Weekend In Random

I talked to my friends this weekend. Each of them called me (all 3, lol) and I talked to each of them for about 2 hours apiece. I think I'm ready to reach out and be friendly again. I invited one over for cooking lessons (she lives 10 minutes away and has never been to our house) and I invited the other friend to call me during the week since she only works weekends. It feels good to have friends again, I haven't spoken to them since my wedding (3 1/2 months). It wasn't due to anything they did and it wasn't because I was wrapped up in TheCount. I just wanted to hang with myself for awhile.

 

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At my church there is a singing group comprised of older ladies. The first time I heard them sing, years ago, I looked around the sanctuary like "is this a joke?" I think I may have even asked TheCount if they were serious since it was his church and I was just a visitor. Y'all, they cannot sing! After the initial shock and humor wore off I began to actually listen. Now, every single time they get on stage I end up bawling out of control. TheCount is always trying to track down the usher to get me some tissue when he sees them approaching the stage. The lead singer reminds me of my grandma. I didn't even like my grandma and maybe that's why it makes me cry and they always sing songs that we used to sing in my church growing up. Needless to say, they sang Sunday, they sounded terrible, and I was bawling out of control.

 

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Did anybody know that The Food Network now has a magazine? Oh my goodness it is wonderful! I saw it while we were in Sam's club Sunday and I snatched it up because I saw my beloved Guy Fieri on the cover and a wonderful looking pasta dish :) The magazine is really good you guys. I went right home and ordered myself a subscription (only $10 for 10 issues). I would advise anybody who loves food and cooking to check this magazine out, you will not be disappointed. I was telling TheCount how I had these 3 new amazing recipes for chicken. One was for little wings for the Super Bowl, one is for "fried" chicken, and another for roasted. He asked how I knew they were good if I never made them.

Me: "Ummm it's from the food network, duhhhh. They have a test kitchen, where they test recipes. They'll never steer you wrong, like Jesus!"

Needless to say that conversation ended with TheCount looking at me like I was the most blasphemous person ever, lol.

 

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TheCount and I have spent too many nights in bed talking about food recently. I'm talking 1 and 2 in the morning just talking about eating and debating whether or not we should get up and eat. Last week he told me he dreamt of Whoppers. He was just sitting around eating them all night in his dream, lol.  I've welcomed him to the dark side of my world...biscuits! Oh how I love them and now I've got him walking around asking me to go make some biscuits for him. We really like the pillsbury kind in the frozen section. Southern style or Sandwich style or the whole wheat rolls. All delicious and all served way too much in our house.

 

How was your weekend? Do anything special, or random?

I'm not a bird, I don't want to fly away

Last night we had company. Five people invited themselves into our home. My momma, an aunt, two cousins, and a stranger. They didn't get there until after 9pm. By that point in the evening TheCount and I are normally passed out on the couch, lol. We are simple folks with a simple routine:

 

Monday: Fall asleep during the last commercial break of Big Bang Theory

Tuesday: Record all my shows (NCIS, The Mentalist, Law & Order) sometimes we can make it until 12:30 before falling asleep

Wednesday: If we don't go to church, we watch it live online. We fall asleep right before the end of the sermon

Thursday: Fall asleep during CSI

Friday: Watch the shows we recorded during the week until we both fall asleep

 

See, simple, sleepy, working folks. My cousin is just the opposite. Her and a friend came to town for the inauguration. All of my other family members have left already, but they decided they wanted to stay for a week. That's cool, except for the fact that these are 2 free spirited chicks that "live it up." Well my momma and aunts aren't used to that. They are used to my sister and my demeanor. My sister is the mean one that will challenge you, but she is obedient and will tell you where she's going or at least when she'll be back. It's never hard to find me. I'm either in the bed or on the couch, lol. If I go missing, call my husband I'm probably right beside him. Simple folk. This chick has backpacked through Europe and more (you should really click the link, I tell ya, the things she finds to do). Well on Wednesday night they decide they want to go to Adams Morgan. My aunt told them no, but they went anyway, my mom said she would pick them up when they were ready to come home. What time did they call her? 7:30am. My momma was like, "I can't handle this, these kids got me all worried." I had to inform my cousin that my momma used to wait for me to get in from church so you can imagine how the club hopping free spirits made her feel!

 

My mom was supposed to pick them up at 6pm yesterday so they could come over. When she called them at 5:30, my cousin told her they were in Virgina sightseeing and that she would call her when they were done. I don't get that! You got other folks waiting on you and you need them for rides, you can't just fly away and do what you want. You better check! And to to think I almost let them stay with us, shoot they would have been stranded at the metro so many times. Once I'm sleep that's it, I aint going back out!

 

She tried to get me to go out with them last night (they figured they might as well stay out all night since the friend's flight left at 5am). Ummm, my dear, I have a job to go to in the morning. Not a little dead end minimum wage job. A career, with a darn salary, that I need to pay my rent.  This chick told me, "we're young, we don't need sleep. When we get done you can hop on the metro and go to work." She doesn't know me very well does she? If there is one thing in this world I need, it's sleep! I haven't been around her in about 8 years so maybe she thought college has loosened me up a bit. Not so. She wanted to go to a sports bar to watch the Lakers-Wizards game last night. We all looked at her like no ma'am. I can't imagine what she will cook up for us to do tonight. Of course I won't do it, but I'm sure she'll try!

 

I am glad that we actually had enough seating for all the people. A few weeks ago, that amount of company would not have been possible :) It's the weekend guys. The highlight of mine? I found a new grocery store I'm going to check out, lol. And tonight, I'm making homemade whole grain vegan pizza! Sounds yummy, huh?

Cheap pictures

My parents patted me down as I was I walking out of their house a few weeks ago. This is what they found. Fresh produce is expensive and if they already had some why not share the health? There is also a picture of the bag of pecans I stole, but I'm much too lazy to post it. Pecans are expensive too!





Every week with precise determination I scour the sales ads and clip my coupons. See that look of focus on my face, that's how you get it done. By the way, I am the proud owner of that blue ball on the cover of that Target ad. And to think, I almost bought one for $10 last week at Wal-Mart! When I left the house Sunday I got the pat down again. What did they find? A giant roll of Charmin Ultra Strong. My dad was looking at me like, are you serious? All they could do was laugh, I've been stealing tissue from them for the past 5 years! When it goes on sale and I have a coupon, I'll get some more.

Too Cheap?

It has been brought to my attention that I am too cheap. This concept is foreign to me, how can I be too cheap? I am merely saving my family money so that we can have more to do more of what we want to do. It's not like I starve my family because I don't buy groceries. We always eat well and eat a variety of things. I don't seek out cheap things, I just find the things that I want on sale. Once I bought Giant brand English muffins because they were half the price of the name brand. Those things were gross! So now I pay more for the name brand (although I do go to Wal-mart to get them because it's $1.10 cheaper there then at the grocery store). My sister says it's embarrassing to go with me to the store because I always have coupons. And don't let it be triple coupon week! Good gracious you would think I won the lottery. Seriously, two weeks ago I saved $16.75 in triple coupons alone at Superfresh, that doesn't even take into account all the sales. That's almost a whole tank of gas! These 2 conversations happened last Saturday:

 

Scene: Walmart

Me: I need to get us some more juice. Hmm Juicy Juice $2.57? Nah, I got it on sale for $2 last week, at the very most I'll pay is $2.50.

Mom: TM! Seriously, what's .07?

Me: Well if I had that attitude about everything then that would add up to a lot, wouldn't it?

Mom: Ugggh, you're too cheap.

 

Scene: Car leaving from Walmart

Me: What in the world am I going to make for dinner? I think the only thing we have left right now that we can eat is half a box of pasta. I can't go grocery shopping until Monday after they [as in the pastors at my church because we are fasting] tells us what we can eat for the week on Sunday. Maybe we'll order out.

Mom: Ohhh let's get Chinese. You and The Count can get lo mein and fried rice and I'll get general tso's chicken.

Me: That sounds good but that's almost $20 for our dinner...

Mom: You better shut up 'bout this money girl. You getting on my nerves with that cheapness. Live a little!

Me: I will live a little as in when I'm rich because I've been so frugal

 

I really don't see either as being cheap. I don't understand why I would waste my money if I know I can get a better deal. It's not like we are going to die without it. I save money where I can so I can spend more elsewhere. This year we are trying to pay down our school loans so that money saved on food can go there. You don't even wanna go clothes shopping with me! I am the queen of finding bargains, lol. I will also embarrass you by having a fit about the price of something. "$30? They call that a sale? That aint no kind of sale, I bet in the next few weeks I find it for $10!"

 

I bet nobody will call me cheap when TheCount and I are rolling in our new cars pulling up to our mansion in a few years because he married a woman that is wise with money!

 

( My mom has some pictures that she said are the example of my too cheapness, I'll try to post them this evening)

What a weekend!

My cousin that has the same name as TheCount, Brooklyn, me, and TheCount (who did not appreciate all the pictures my dad kept trying to take during the night).


I have been truly enjoying my 4 day weekend :) We have tons of family in town, and while I am not going out and participating in any of the festivities, much of my family is and they are more than happy to tell me the stories. My momma has about 4 strangers in her house. They are friends/family of family so they became our family too! Especially when one of the young ladies from Georgia said her cousin was going to charge her $3,500 to stay there for 2 nights. Y'all they are family! My mom was so appalled she told her to call and see if anybody was going to stay there and then invite them over too, lol.

On Sunday we watched the We Are One concert on the mall, it was sooo good! I am now loving me some Jon Bon Jovi! I'm going to have to go find some of his music to listen to, his voice made me smile. We had tons of fun looking at the wardrobes because there were some fly coats out there! And then we had fun looking at the Asian girl sleeping on the second row, lol. We went over to my parent's house to watch the Steelers-Ravens game. Being that we live in Maryland, much of the house was for the Ravens. I came in sporting my Steelers jersey, terrible towel, and my Steelers cup. Y'all I acted an obnoxious fool up in that house! I went running in front of the tv waving my towel and screaming when we scored or had a big play. I was so bad that this lady (who I didn't know, but didn't really care for) went upstairs to watch the game with my dad and cousin because I was trying to turn downstairs into Steeler Country. I kept popping my jersey in my cousins face because he is the biggest sore loser you will ever meet he wouldn't even hug me goodbye. The highlight of my night was when Polamalu got the interception and ran it back for a touchdown. Since I had on my jersey I was seriously popping it and screaming. Y'all I love me some Troy Polamalu! I was hollering "and they tried to say I wasn't the best safety in the league, watch this! Question my greatness? I'm the best! Where is that other dude they said was better than me? He's at home and I'm going to the Super Bowl!" After I finished running around the basement screaming (my sore loser cousin went upstairs during my speech) I ran upstairs waving my towel. My cousin shook his head and the lady I didn't like was like, oh Lord, here she come. I did my victory dance around the kitchen and then went downstairs to catch my breath. TheCount was like "ummm baby, you not playing, you just watching the game."Popping my jersey while waving my towel and dancing in front of the tv

My momma was happy to snap some pictures of me, because I honestly don't act like that. I started out sitting in the back corner and then TheCount was like, "you have to wave your towel." Then when we scored I jumped up and waved it and my momma was like "you have to get in the middle of the floor and do it so they can get mad," so I did. It was a lot of fun! They may have created a monster! See you at the Super Bowl folks! Interception baby!

He aint goin' nowhere!

I am very protective of TheCount. We have been through a lot together and I just can't help it. He always looks at me like, babe, what are you going to do about it? Then I start my long list of irrational things I plan to do and the conversation normally ends with a request for me to stop talking. 

 

TheCount participates in a Turkey Bowl every Thanksgiving. A couple of Thanksgiving's ago he hurt his leg during the game when somebody fell on it, this is how the conversation went:

 

Me: OMG, sit down, let me get you some ice. Who did this to you?

Count: It doesn't matter who did it, I'm ok.

Me: Tell me. They need to pay for what they have done to you! Who was it?

Count: Babe, if they hurt me and I'm 100 pounds heavier and 7 inches taller than  you, what do you think they will do to you?

Me: Nothing, cuz they won't see me coming. I'll sneak attack them at church and then stomp them with my heels while they're down!

Count: Please shut up.

 

He never did tell me who hurt him. A few days before our wedding TheCount and his friends were together and they do violent guy stuff a lot. Well somebody snuck attacked this one guy and he never figured out who did it. So what did he do? He bit TheCount. Yes, you read that correctly. This grown man bit another grown man. He BIT him, who the heck does that? When TheCount told me that I started plotting out my revenge. TheCount was like, don't worry I was so shocked I punched him in the chest. My concern was that TheCount didn't punch him hard enough to pay for the nastiness that is biting another man. TheCount assured me he did and that they had it on tape, dude was rolling on the ground for about 5 minutes after the hit. Well, when we got back from our honeymoon we got a bit of funny information. TheCount broke dudes rib. So TheCount is feeling all terrible talkin' 'bout, I'll pay for his medical expenses, I'll reimburse him for the time he missed from work. Meanwhile I'm looking at him saying "oh no the heck you won't, he shouldn't have bit you! If you give him a dime, I'll break the rest of his ribs and yours." The dude didn't have any hard feelings we took him and his girlfriend out to dinner and paid for it and we were all even ( I really don't understand dude friendships, lol). Well after that I stopped worrying about TheCount so much because I was like, ok, he can handle his business. Until yesterday...

 

TheCount's job is to go into different apartments and perform inspections. He tests for things like lead and asbestos. He has had to go into some dirrrrttttyyyy places, but yesterday they took it too far. He pulls up to the apartment and was like, umm is this a joke? It was a vacant building (they didn't tell him that). The windows were boarded up and there was no  heat or electricity. All of which his office neglected to tell him. Oh don't forget that in the D-M-V yesterday it was 20 freaking degrees! So he is working all day in this dark below freezing building ohhh yeahhhhh with rotten floors. He almost fell through a hole in the floor! His equipment stopped working his computer crashed and then they had to do everything by hand because it was too cold for anything to work. Y'all I was livid and very dramatic! This is the conversation from my side of the phone:

 

"Well did you tell them of the conditions in the building? They couldn't find this out before you went there? I know it's your job to inspect buildings but they do not pay y'all to risk life and limb like that! You don't have an outdoor job your uniform is for working inside how dare they put you through that with no warning. That is so inconsiderate. Now you have to go back to the office and do all the work y'all couldn't get done today? Unacceptable. No, we're done with those people. We are finding you a new job now, they don't value their employees. Well at least it's a four day weekend. What? You don't have Monday or Tuesday off? But our president is black and so are you! Tell them you need one of these days of to celebrate with your people! I ain't playing ohhhh these people are going to get it!"

 

After all that TheCount said : Shut up, lol. But I was semi-serious. If you walked into your office building today and there was no heat today and all your equipment crashed, would you stay? Am I the only darn Pampered Princess that would get up and leave and put in my regular work hours for it? I've done it before because that kind of strain isn't good on your body if you aren't prepared for it. He didn't get in the bed till about 2am because he was still working. I sent him out today with full on ski gear in a bag just in case they decide he should work in a cement tunnel under the ground!

 

(I told MamaTM this story and she was like, girl he is a grown man he will be fine. At which point I went off on another tirade about how I have to protect my baby. I had to watch his brother and daddy leave this Earth and I will not see him go too.)

I like to talk about food!

Our boy Darius is doing big things on the 'net guys! Go check out his new website www.everydaycookin.com. His new site is super cool and he always has good recipes! Let's go show our support!

 

 

Speaking of food, this conversation went down at my house last night:

 

Me: "Ugghhhhh, I'm so tired of this"

TheCount: "What's wrong honey?"

Me: "I'm freaking hungry. These recipes suck! I miss the food I know and love. Rich food with flavor. Food that's filling. Food that tastes good! I've been hungry for days, I'm bout to die" at this point I dramatically fall onto the couch and proceed to whine some more trying to be all poetic as I talk about food I'm pretty sure I started talking about food that nourishes the soul and brings people together, I was getting deep in my starving delirous disappointed state.

TheCount: "Ok, granted you haven't been putting out your best work lately...."

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

TheCount: "...but it's ok, the food can't be nasty forever."

Me: "Man bump this vegetarian thing, I don't like none of this healthy no meat stuff. After the fast, I'm going back to full on meat. Since I refuse to eat this mess I made tonight, you know what that means?"

TheCount: " I swear if you say garlic bread and roasted potatoes I will bite you"

Me: "I won't say it, but I'm sure bout to make it!"

 

As of late bread and potatoes is all I've been eating. I have tried so many vegetarian meals and I just frown as I eat a few bites and then leave my plate there to go make my standby meal. Before, when I gave up meat, I didn't really care about replacing it with healthy foods so I had no problem eating yummy (although unhealthy) foods. Now that I'm actually incorporating healthy foods, I've discovered I don't like enough of them to have any variety in my diet which I need! I can't just recycle the same 5 or 10 meals. Since we've been married we haven't had the same thing twice yet! I love food too much to be eating the same thing, so February 1, I think I'm going back on the meat, lol. This week I have made (and hated) spicy lo mein, vegetable fried rice, roasted vegetables, some kind of pasta sauce (store bought, gross), and one of those refrigerated ravioli things (grosser). The one good thing that has come from this, I've discovered I like butternut squash. That stuff is good! And pretty :)

 

Lesson for the day: Go check Darius out and make his recipes so you can have much better meals than we have been having in the Count household!

I'm a bad mama jama...

Yesterday I was feeling quite sucky. Today it's just the opposite. I'm sitting on top of the world. No reason in particular, just happy! I went into the bathroom at work yesterday and looked in the mirror and just started smiling. I looked cute, lol. Hair in place, outfit cute, annddddddd my skin is clearing up something serious. Dare I say it's the best it's ever looked. Now I just need to pinpoint what caused the change. I always change so many things at one time I never can figure it out. It may be food, exercise, products, or less stress. Who knows. I went down at church to pray for healing for my skin too. Somebody said that was dumb but I was like well, it makes me sad and if nobody else cares Jesus does, lol.

 

Anyway, my car ride home yesterday was interesting. First, "Irreplaceable" came on and I found myself in the car crying and couldn't figure out why (I cry at everything during that oh so special time of the month). Then I realized what I was thinking about. In college I was president of a group called Sisters Inspiring Sisters To Excel and Reach Success or S.I.S.T.E.R.S. for short. On Saturdays we would go and volunteer at a shelter for abused and neglected children. One Saturday on the way back my best friend and 3 new exchange students from Wales that had joined the group (o.k. I made them join, they lived in our apartment and I told them if they didn't join I would make their year miserable) were in the car with me and we were listening to Beyonce's CD. We had the windows down and that song came on and we were all singing at the top of our lungs. We were at a stoplight so all the other cars were staring at us and we had a ball! After that we all went out for lunch just to hang. It was probably one of my best days of college. I've never been the type to have a lot of friends or people around me and that day was just so much fun and I genuinely miss my friends.

 

Later on in my car ride "she's a bad mama jama" came on and I was partying it up all by myself. Last night in the house TheCount came in the kitchen and found me dancing in the middle of the floor talking 'bout "I'm a bad mama jama, just as fly as I can be..." he stood there for a while and then started cracking up. Whatever, he's a hater because nobody wrote a song about him!

 

Did I tell y'all I have gotten lost every single day this week coming to/from work? When I took my coworker home last week she showed me a new way so I wouldn't have to sit in all that traffic. I'm still working out the details, clearly! Last night I was driving down this dark winding road and I couldn't figure out how to turn back around. I called TheCount so I wouldn't spaz out. He's been practicing his soothing sounds voice. He was talking all calm and asking if he could do anything to help. Of course when I got home all that soothing sounds mess went out the window and he began to point and laugh at the girl that still gets lost coming home. Today, I'm determined to make it home in one shot!

 

Breakfast time folks! Toast and Bolthouse, yummy!

Heads will roll...

I am a little PMS-y today, lol. I was going through my list of blog reads for the morning and I found myself being extremely sarcastic and rude, so I'll opt out of commenting today on others' posts and this will have to count as a post for me. I just found out I have a meeting from 4:30-5:30. Ummm I get off at 4:30. I guess that means I get to take a long lunch today to make up for that time. Maybe that's why I'm cranky. Or maybe it's because my dear sweet husband decided 4ish a.m. was an appropriate time to try and begin play time. For the record, it wasn't, nor will it ever be. He must pay for disturbing my slumber. Off to plot...

These are a few of my favorite things!

I'm in the mood to smile so I'll dedicate this post to some things that I am loving right now!

 

Bolthouse Juice

 

The Bolthouse Farms line is 100% juice with no sugar added and not from concentrate. We are fasting with our church this month, as many churches do to start out the year. At our church we do a progressive fast meaning each week they take something else away. This week it's no meat, no sweets, no junk food, and no dairy. Since this seriously limits what we can have we have a fridge stocked with these juices. I drink them with breakfast and TheCount takes a large one to drink on all day. The flavor I'm currently enjoying is Passion Fruit apple carrot juice. It's pretty good. The only one I do not like is Blue Goodness. Try that one at your own risk, lol.

 

Heated Mattress Pad

 

I can't find the one we have, but I got it at Sears on Saturday and it was 50% off! I was beyond happy because I am always cold. TheCount is always hot. I have been searching for once since we got married because I sleep under 2 comforters and a blanket and TheCount is a 1 comforter type dude. At night I put my ice cold feet on him and snuggle up so I can be warm. By the middle of the night I'm making him hot so he moves away from me and I'm back to freezing! The mattress pad we have has the dual zones with separate controllers so I can make my side as hot as I'd like and he doesn't even have to have his side on. Bliss I tell ya, bliss! Last night I used the preheat function on TheCount's side of the bed because it allows you to get into toasty sheets but it turns off after 30 minutes so he wouldn't be hot all night.

 

Humidifier

 

TheCount frequently gets nose bleeds. As in every single day. I bought this humidifier about 2 weeks ago to see if we could cut down on that. I think it's working. He had been nosebleed free and then we slept in the living room without it and his nose bled the next morning. Last night after we ate ravioli and garlic sauce he started telling me the Steeler's lost the playoff game. I was in the kitchen washing dishes and came running out screaming that he was lying and when I changed from the game we were up by a lot and no way did those sucky  Chargers beat us. He was laughing at my anguish and I whipped out my phone to check the score. When I found out TheCount was lying I jumped on him and started blowing my breath up his nose. Honest to God his nose started bleeding, HAHAHAHA! That didn't really have anything to do with the humidifier but how funny was that? My breath made his nose bleed! Anyway, the humidifier has really helped keep the dryness out of the air. It does make the room cold (hey no air conditioning needed in the summer!) but if you have a heated mattress pad it's all good! We like it on the high setting because the noise is soothing to us although I did notice in product reviews people actually returned the unit because they thought it was too loud.

 

Odalis Hair Salon

 

I've been going there for a little over a month, it's in Gaithersburg, Maryland. I learned about if from a fellow blogger. Her hair is healthy so I gave it a whirl.  The fact that I actually went back more than once is nothing short of miracle because I do not do hair salons! I've been 3 whole times which is a record for me. I'm in and out (except when I had to get the works because I was 12 weeks post relaxer, lol) and the folks are polite. I think I'll keep going. I got an awesome "trim" last time which turned out to be more like a cut but it's cute so I don't really mind it. If you live in the area and want the info, hit me up, I'll pass it on.

 

Working Out

 

TheCount and I joined a gym back in November I think. We went once and then got so inundated with the holiday's that we fell off. I didn't mind not going because the first time we went he made me do the elliptical and the bike and I was miserable! I started going to the gym in our office building with coworker and we did the treadmill. I LOVE IT! I just do it on an incline so I'm working my muscles but I don't feel miserable. The other reason why I like it is because I can get a good workout on a high incline without a super high speed. I have rheumatoid arthritis in my hips, knees, and (don't laugh) my big toes HAHAHAHA. TheCount makes sure to point and laugh every time I talk about my arthritic big toe, yeah it is kinda funny. Anyway, the elliptical had my knees dying because of how fast I was going and jogging on the treadmill had me bedridden because of the high impact. But walking? I can certainly do that with  no problem!

 

Alright, time to share. What are a few of your favorite things?

Browndilocks

Arrive at work: 8:30am
Leave "to go to the bank": 11:45am
Return "from the bank": 3:30pm
Leave work to go home: 4:30pm

Reactions:

Receptionist: "Did you just get your hair done?"
Me: "Girl no! I know you just saw me run down to my car right quick!"
Receptionist: "well your hair looks good!"
Me: "Yeah it should I've been gone almost 4 hours"
Receptionist:"It's been that long?"

Coworker: "Da hayle you been? To the car? Girl please, but I see your hair movin' and shakin'!"

Coworker2: "Z was looking for you about 15 minutes ago, he faxed you something"

Me:on the phone "Hey Z, I was in the kitchen, my bad"
Z: "It's ok, I know they keep you busy over there"

Coworker 3 (that was in my office talking to me when I got up to "go to the bank": thinking to himself, how she gonna step in here with a bush this morning and then magically appear with this flowing hair "Oh my!"

Reason 1,397 why I love my job: Leaving in the middle of the day to get a relaxer and hair cut and everybody being cool with that! Of course my boss was working from home today and knows nothing of my midday adventures, shoot TM aint no fool!

(I hadn't had a relaxer in 12 weeks, my boss probably would have driven me to the hair salon just to stop embarrassing the black women in our department...me and her)

Private Service Announcement: Me

It has been suggested that I need to seek anger management, lol. I think they were joking. I was like, "I'm not the problem, they are!" When my coworker was telling me about her niece (the girl from yesterday's post) I was getting mad. When coworker told me niece started cursing when she pinched her finger in the car in front of coworkers 6 year old daughter I was like "did you punch her in the mouth?" Apparently it's not appropriate to punch teenagers in the mouth. Who knew? I was like well it would make her and your daughter think twice about what comes out of it next time. Coworker laughed but ummmm I was serious.

 

When I'm driving I scream at other drivers. My mama gets so mad and TheCount just laughs and says, "they can't hear you dummy." It's like they don't even see my little car. Seriously I can't wait until I get my truck, then maybe I'll get some respect on the road. This morning a tractor trailer and an air conditioning van came over on my car like I wasn't even there! I was screaming "HEY, WE CANNOT OCCUPY THE SAME SPACE! I KNOW YOU SEE ME HERE. HOW RUDE!" But maybe they didn't see me, it seems like cars never see me. Big dark blue truck, here I come. When I try to honk my horn it doesn't work, to date I think I've only successfully honked my horn in an emergency situation once and that wasn't nothing but Jesus. I'm always scared I'm going to deploy the air bag punching at that darn steering wheel.

 

MamaTM also gets mad at how I talk to TheCount. It's just that I'm much louder than he is so she doesn't hear what he says first! I don't think she understands because she met my dad when they were in their 20's working full time jobs and living on their own. I met TheCount in 8th grade U.S. History class. The way we interact is much different than how you guys did. We would fight all the time, make fun of each other. I would walk past him steal his hat and sit and wear it and dare him to try and take it from me! I would walk past and push his head so it slammed into the desk. He would trip me up as I walked. If he saw I had something to drink he would come over snatch it and guzzle the entire thing. This is how we are and we like it. We are never disrespectful to each other and we know where the line is drawn. He knows jokes about my skin are not cool. I know never to make bald jokes (he's not going bald but for some reason gets really mad if someone suggests that maybe one day he will) and I know never ever to let the word Bastard come out of my mouth (his daddy died in 2007...that ish hurts man). I know I can make fun of his mom and sister but never ever his brother (his brother died in 2005...we still cry about that one too). So like I said, we know where are lines are drawn and we aren't afraid to say to the other one "low blow man...too soon...too soon." It's the exact same way I interact with my sister, well that makes my mom mad too, lol. The other day TheCount and I were coming into my parent's house and all my mama hears is:

 

Me: "Shutup before I kick you down the stairs"

MamaTM: "Who are you talking too?"

Me: "Count"

MamaTM: "Don't talk like that it's mean"

TheCount: threatening me quietly so my mama can't hear him

Me: lunging at TheCount till I had jumped on his back and was able to latch on with one leg and kick him with the other

PapaTM: "Girl, get off that man, how would you like it if he did that to you? He did this to me yesterday only I collapsed under the weight of his enormous body!"

MamaTM: "I'm gonna tell your counselors this just aint right...it just aint right"

 

While my parents are fussing TheCount and I are having the time of our lives! It just like when we chase each other around the apartment. Apparently other couples don't do that, but we have fun and that's us being us.

 

See, I don't need anger management, we can just shut this service announcement down. It aint me, it's them!

 

(ohhhh my coworker just told me that niece jumped out her momma's car yesterday and ran because she knows her momma couldn't chase her. I asked "well did her momma run her little fast tail over with the car?" Ummm apparently that's not appropriate to do to a child either...who knew?)

Public Service Announcement: Parents

Clearly I have a theme for the week. I didn't plan on it, but as I'm sitting here, this is making me mad. This story is about my coworker and her niece. She is 14 and was at her home last week watching her daughter while they were out of school. While there, coworker and husband noticed niece on the phone a lot. Not out of the ordinary for a 14 year old, but husband noticed she was talking differently. Coworker noticed that she kept saying I love you. This brought about the conversation, who the hayle you talking to little girl? Y'all this little chick was talking to a 20 year old she met on myspace. This girl done worked out a whole game plan, if I see her in the streets I'll slap her myself. I'm mad at her (I'll give y'all a rundown of what she did in a minute) but I'm more mad at her parents! She lives with them 24/7. Them as in both parents so 2 people are there watching this child. Nobody noticed anything odd? She spent ONE DAY with her aunt and uncle and they figured out all that I'm about to tell you. I will ask this question: What the heck are her parents doing!??????

 

This chick:

1. Told this dude she was 18 but kept her bday as 1994. Dummy.

2.Has a tag profile (something similar to facebook or myspace) that her aunt found, and she was talking to a 24 year old on there.

3.Got a web cam from this dude. He sent it to her house from Amazon. Her FATHER hooked the web cam up for her. Did he not think to ask why his 14 year old daughter has a web cam that they didn't buy? Or where she got it from?

4. She sent this dude some picture of a Hawaiian chick saying it was her.

5. She told him he was adopted and lived on a farm. He looked up her house address (you know cuz he is mailing her stuff) and was like, ummm it's registered to Mom'sName. Isn't that your birth mother? And it says it's a town house, not a farm.

6. She left her email account open at Coworker and Husband's house so they went through all her emails to get the full story of what has been going on. If she left the email up there, don't you think she has done it at her parent's house before too? Why haven't they ever looked at what there child was doing online? This lady at my church told her kids "at any point I may ask you to sit down and log into your facebook/myspace account and I will look at whatever you are doing or have done. Keep that in mind when you posting things on the internet." I LOVE that woman. Her kid's were mad but so what!

7.After Coworker and Husband found out all of this, they took her cellphone and told her to stay off the computer. Her parent's came to pick her up Sunday. She told them she wanted to take a walk, these idiots tell her ok. Last night Coworker found this email from niece to dude: "They took my phone, I had to run 10 miles to the library to email you. I love you. I won't kill myself although I have thought about it. I miss you. I'll talk to you as soon as my parent's leave their phone around" There is about 15 things wrong with this entire scenario, one of them being the fact that the library is a block and a half from the house. LOL

 

 

I really don't blame her. I blame the parent's. I just found out her mom is a stay at home mom. Oh heck no! You need to take an interest in your child's life and know what is going on. It's not like she is at school giving bl.ow jo.bs behind the lockers which you may or may not ever find out about. This is occurring in your home. Every single day. Wake up and pay attention to her. She is crying out.

 

Her parent's were talking about what they were going to do to the dude. Umm this dude did nothing wrong. He talked to an 18 year old adopted Hawaiian chick living on a farm in Maryland that he met on the internet. He is not at fault. YOUR child is. Thankfully coworker does not mince words and gave her sister a lot of very helpful advice as to what to do with her daughter. If you guys have any advice it would be helpful as well. I told her to take an interest in her daughter, get her involved in activities that you guys can enjoy together and help work on her self esteem. That seriously kept my sister and I in line. I was awkward with acne (shoot I still have acne!) and for an entire year came home crying cuz I thought I was ugly yet I still didn't take crap from dudes or act out sexually, why? Cuz my momma told me there was more to life, that I was better than that, that I won't feel like this always and I don't want to regret my actions in the days to come when I realized how AWESOME I really am and we were always involved in something. We never just had idle time to sit around and concoct schemes up to get dudes. Man, I love my momma! Anyway. Parents... in 2009 take an interest in your children. Build their self esteem and self worth. Let them know that you think they are awesome even if they don't!

Public Service Announcement

This announcement is for rude people. I don't want you to go through all of 2009 not being aware of your actions, so let me help you out.

 

On Friday I had an ugly day. Y'all I looked a mess. My hair is 10 weeks post relaxer and I didn't really do anything to it but let it sit on my head bushy. My skin is tripping out because I'm on this new pill so my face looked a mess. I can't remember what I had on but I'm pretty sure it was busted, lol. Anyway, I was in the kitchen at work toasting my bagel:

 

Rudeness: "TM, are you tired? You look really tired?"

Me: No this heifer didn't. You gonna give me a cot and a blanket to take a nap? If not then don't worry about what I am. Now what the heck am I supposed to say to this rude chick? "No, I'm just really cold"

 

Did I mention the kitchen was full of people when she said this? Now all this attention is on the busted chick in the middle of the room. Ugghhh I was so embarrassed, but you better believe I'm on point today. Maybe that was her way of telling me to step my game up, but still, that was rude. Don't let it continue in 2009. The same goes for telling somebody "Oh, you look sick" It doesn't help and it sure doesn't make them feel any better.

 

What do you want to tell the rude people to stop doing in 2009?

Yayyy New Stuff!

New Year's Eve service was wonderful. The Tye Tribbett concert was so much fun we didn't get in the house until 3am. My church rocks! Ringing in the new year with 2,500+ folks was great! I was the last woman standing in my section, everybody else had gone home. TheCount was in the light/sound booth working, and he was like "I looked over and saw you by yourself. Did you singing scare the people away?" LOL That dude is evil! He has  been sick all week. I have pumped him so full of Pepto and Imodium that it makes no sense! Everybody has been teasing him about his constant runs to the bathroom, his friend even recorded a song about it and sent it to him. Good times, except when I have to participate in cleanup. Like this morning, lol. I walked in the bathroom and was like oh.my.God. Are you dying? There was blood everywhere. He has had a bloody nose every day in addition to the other grossness he is exuding. Not normal dude. The upside? He has been a lot nicer to me this week :) He said it's because he wants me to lift this curse I've put on him.

 

On a non-gross note, we are getting new furniture tomorrow! Since we moved in the only seating in our living room has been a love seat. A 6'2" 200+ pound dude and a 5'6" gal chilling on that couch can get cramped! Especially when he falls asleep and I insist on sleeping there with him. It really is a sight to see. We are getting a sofa and loveseat set :) If anybody is in the market for furniture, look at places that rent out furniture because they sell models that they are no longer using. We have gotten most of our furniture like that and it is excellent and inexpensive! Of course you have to be careful because some of the stuff in there hasn't been cleaned properly or is damaged,  but the pieces we get? Top notch. We were in there shopping and I kept embarrassing TheCount as we were testing out couches.

 

Salesdude: "That one came from xyzstore, it's not one of our pieces, but it's still good"

Me: face scrunched up "somebody smoked on this couch"

TheCount: Oh lord, she is bout to start acting up in public again

Salesdude: "yeah they don't clean their furniture as well as we do ours, they just want it out. Feel free to sniff our other sets, they have been deep cleaned"

Me: "Oh believe me, I was going to do that anyway"

TheCount: "excuse her, she is very very strange"

 

I am not strange! But I am allergic to smoke and I do have a ridiculous sense of smell. I walked around the store sniffing everything. People were laughing but shoot, I have to live with the furniture and I need to make sure I'm not going to wake up with a headache from breathing in year old smoke fumes.

 

Perhaps if I ever find my camera, I'll take a picture of our new setup. I'll try and do a before and after photo.

 

How were your New Year festivities?