Thursday, March 5, 2009

2009 Church Catchphrase

Thanks for your help yesterday! TheCount and I want to hang with our nieces and nephews more, but those kids think we have a money tree somewhere. I wanted to take them to the circus, but there are 4 of them  now (we took 3 before and it got quite pricey). So we would have to drive an hour to get them (in a borrowed truck, because they can't fit in our car), pay for 6 circus tickets, any snacks and/or toys that they want, and since they will probably want to spend the night, food for multiple meals, and then get them back home and return the borrowed truck with gas in it. For an 11 year old girl, two 10 year old boys, and a 3 year old boy, that is mighhhtttyyyy expensive. We don't have kids yet cuz we can't afford them, ours or anybody elses. We have taken them out before (shopping, out to eat, getting our nails done, for their haircuts, or lock maintenance, the circus, just hanging out) and the mother (TheCount's sis-n-law [his brother passed away]) never offers any money, even if they call us and ask us can they hang with us. I feel bad asking her to send at least $20 (total) to cover some food, especially since she still owes me $100 that I'll probably never see again...I figure, if she wanted to pay, she would, and clearly she doesn't. If she doesn't have the money, that's fine, but don't tell me "you got me" when you don't (and then show up with 5 new tattoos). It's sad because we want to hang with them more, but we just aren't able to cover everything all the time.
I had another question I wanted to ask yesterday but I was wayyyyy too embarrassed, so I tried to ask my momma:
Me: Ma, I have a problem
Ma: Is it financial?
Me: What? Girl, no!
Ma: Ok, then proceed
Me: Well......insert problem here dealing with girlie things
Ma: Well uhhh, I don't know nothing about that, but maybe you're going to have a birth control baby, I keep telling you, a lot of your cousins were conceived while their mommas were on the pill
Me: I aint having no baby!
Anywayyyyyyy, last night we went to Bible study and I noticed something. There are a few people at church that you always know  are there. When the pastor is preaching, instead of just saying mmhmm, or nodding their head in agreement, or standing up as if to say 'you betta go head pastor', or a simple Amen, they have a signature line. There is this older Caribbean woman who always bellows out "that's true, that's true" and an older man that always says "thank you Abba Father." They crack me up. Don't even get me started on the man that screams Hallelujah! all loud (but not while the pastor is preaching, he does it when we are greeting first time visitors or watching the announcements, lol). Yesterday we sat in front of a young lady that just kept remarking, "that is so good, so good," but she wasn't loud or anything, so it was cool. One Sunday a couple of months ago there was this man kept on hollering "I once was blind but now I see," like over and over. I couldn't see who it was so after service I asked a friend
Me: Who was hollering during service? Why didn't any of the deacons go over and pray with him (if it seems as if somebody is going through something or if they are being a bit "extra" our deacons will go over and pray with them, you can't just be distracting folks like you the only one in the sanctuary. If you wanna talk, buy the cd or dvd and do it at home)?
Patrice: It was the blind man!
Me: astonished Oh wow! He can see now?
Patrice: looking at me like I was the dumb one No, he's still blind.
I don't know why but I fell out laughing, TheCount said God was going to reduce the size of my mansion in heaven for laughing at that man, but come on, that was funny!
The point of this was, I decided I want a signature line. I tried out a few last night, everybody vote for your favorite or suggest your own:
Pastor: How are we going to try to win people to Christ when we all broke down and sick and our kids acting a fool and our marriages falling apart? Huh?
Me:  Sho nuff!
~~later on~~
Pastor: We need to be examples of God's glory in the earth, so that people will see how great our God is!
Me: Show ya right!
~~later-er on~~
Pastor: Now let's give God a shout of praise!
Me: Whoodie Whooooooo
Those were the lines I tried last night. TheCount wasn't feeling any of them, but we all know he is a hater! Now I turn to you, what should be my 2009 church catchphrase?
A. Sho nuff!
B: Show ya right!
C. Whoodie Whoooo
**disclaimer, I really do pay attention in church y'all. I take good notes and I apply the messages, I promise!**


laughing808 said...

none of the above.....back to the drawing board you go!


Anonymous said...

you need to be slapped. Yellin out Whoodie Whoooo! in church in unacceptable!! lmao....youre terrible for real....smh.

Why you be emabarrassin yo huzband like this?? you make him sound normal...and then i remember the time you said he woke up and was butt nekkid sayin the pledge of allegiance or somethin like that. loloololl

Product Junkie Diva said...

LOL you said Whoodie Whooooooo...LOL
girl you always make me laugh.

Jennie Renee' said...

OOOO Hey TM!!! I’m a lurker but I have to comment on this. I thought I was the only one that ROFL with those catch phrases at church.(FYI I’m the one that shoots many churches and edit it for TV. I have endless church stories. soo funny).

Anywhoo there is this one lady that says the following “tell the story pastor” but she says it at times when its quiet and nothing is going on. I just lol every time I shoot that church... So try that next time “Tell the story pastor”... And let us know how it goes.

Therapeutic Musings said...

@laughing808, you didn't like any of them? That was my best work!

@pink, are you saying I'm not normal? I think we have an unspoken rule that only one of us can be silly at a time.

@PJD, I'm going to take your comment as a vote for whoodie whooo!

@Jennie, your story made me scream laughing! I am using that one on Sunday!

Nerd Girl said...

How 'bout you not have a "church catchphrase?" That is sooooo funny to me! I'm sitting here laughing and shaking my head. You special!

kisz4tj said...

I want you to get professional christian help STAT! ROFL none of the above!

My personal favorite is "wellll"

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