Eviiillllll

We  went to see Watchmen over the  weekend. I'll just say that I spent  a lot of time with my eyes closed or making a "ewwwwwwww" face and staring up at the ceiling. TheCount and I also went shopping. I don't know why but I can't seem to convince him to let me buy a $300 purse, lol. Even standing there stroking the bag and purring "isn't she lovely? Just feel it, it's like butter," didn't work. I'm going to have to work on my skills. I like when we shop together better than when shopping with friends because neither of us have a problem being honest about stuff.

 

In Eddie Bauer:

Me: "Do you think this is ugly?"

TheCount: "Yeah! Hahahaha"

Me: looking sad "Oh"

TheCount: "You liked it?"

Me: "Yes"

TheCount: "Hahahahaha, do you babe"

 

In JCPenny:

TheCount: "Man, they don't have these pants in my size"

Me: "Good thing, cuz they are ugly!"

TheCount: "What? Man, I could rock these. You being a hater. Fly as I am? Man with the right shoes and blahblahblah"

Me: "Ummm, somebody is feeling himself a bit too much"

 

In Macy's:

Stranger: "Is this shirt too small?"

TheCount: Looking him over "Well, I mean, you can pair it with..."

Me: this shirt makes him look like he has boobies "You need a bigger size"

Stranger: "This is the biggest one, it was on the clearance rack"

Me: "Then that's where it needs to stay. Before you even said anything I wondered to myself 'why is dudes shirt so small."

Stranger: "Well thanks for being honest!"

Me: "No problem, I don't want you to get laughed out the club, because no girl will be checking for you in that shirt"

 

In some shoe store:

Me: reaching out to touch some shoes

TheCount: "mmmm, don't think you want to do that"

Me: "They're ugly?"

TheCount: "Beyond ugly"

 

 

This is what friends need to do for each other. It would cut down on a lot of tragedies that we see. Ill-fitting clothes and horrible patterns would be a thing of the past if people were just a bit more honest during the shopping process!

 

A little more honesty from the weekend:

 

Our pastor spoke at a church in DC yesterday evening so we went to go hear him. When we got on our row this lady's baby reached out for me, so I reached out and took her (yeahhh, probably should have asked, lol). I was sitting there playing with her:

Me: "Honey, can I have one of these (pointing at the baby)?"

TheCount" You have one right now, enjoy her, then give her back to her momma"

Me: "Can I have one of my own?"

TheCount: "Ask me later...like 3 years from now"

 

One More:

Me: dancing and singing in the kitchen "I don't need no beat I just sing it to piano ohhhohhhhooohhhhh" Looking up and realizing TheCount is watching me and making a face, "Hmmm, you think I need a piano?"

TheCount: "Baby, you need autotune!"

 

This dude is pure evil! LOL