A year of expectation

My bad about yesterday folks. TheCount and I were both at home because he was ill. He did a fine job of throwing up in his coworkers car. She is a better woman than I am because I would have tied him to the roof for the remainder of the trip. Anyway.....What are you going to do different in 2009? Not necessarily a New Year's Resolution, but something in your life you need to change so you can be a better you? In our house we write the vision. We like to know what we are working toward and believing God for. Our dreams are lofty, always have been, always will be. We write down what we want to accomplish, what we want to acquire, what we hope to do. I'm going to post our list in our bedroom and on our refrigerator as a constant reminder. Here is TheCount and my list of:

 

We'll be fine in '09 (that's the highlight of my creativity, if you have a better name, plese submit it so we can post it on our fridge!

 

We hope to accomplish:

 

1. A healthier lifestyle. Which includes eating right and excercising. I have to get this body ready to birth some babies in a few years and I want TheCount to be around for years to come! {BTW somebody is having serious opposition to this vegetarian thing, lol. We'll talk it out and come to a mutually happy decision}

 

2. Pay off our school loans. We don't have a ton of debt, thanks to our generous parents, but I want the loans gone! I refuse to spend the next 10 years writing checks to Sallie Mae, Citibank, and Wells Fargo. If anybody has an extra $10,000 lying around, pass it on over here please!

 

3. A new job for TheCount. He is not feeling this job so much because of what they pay and what they expect you to do. It really is quite interesting how they forgot that little conversation about pay increase after 90 days. I want him to get a new job because I don't like him having to go into dirty apartments every day brining their filth into our home. He came home one day and asked for my bug spray to spray down his work stuff before he got in the house because his partner saw a roach crawl in his bag! He also told me about opening a closet door in an apartment and having 2 mice staring back at him. GROSS! I was like, "baby, you are one strong dude because I would have stripped naked and walked right out and drove myself home leaving everything behind in that den of filth."

 

4. New vehicles. TheCount drives a 96 Altima that loves to go to the shop! I have an 02 Saturn that has treated me pretty well but we are prepping for the future and I can't be birthing no babies trying to climb in and out of my tiny car, it's a struggle getting me and my purse out now! I would like a Saturn Outlook in dark blue, with black leather interior, heated seats, automatic start, and a GPS system installed (if you have one of those just sitting around, send it my way). I'm not sure what TheCount wants specifically, but I'll get that information before we put our list up.

 

5. To do a daily Bible Study together. I do my study when I get to work in the morning because I know nobody will bother me until after 12. TheCount does his Bible study before bed or sometimes in bed. I can't tell you how many times I woke up hollering "what are you over there talking about?" only to realize he was praying, lol.

 

 

Now it's your turn! Write down what you expect to accomplish this year. If you've already done a post on it, leave your link here so we can check you out!


HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!

I had the best intentions....

....to post, but clearly I didn't! Here's the breakdown:

 

Wednesday, December 24: Christmas Eve

I was at work dancing around, trying to convince everybody to be a rebel and leave early with me. The vice president, CEO, and his daddy, had all gone home, why exactly were we still at work? Nobody joined me, but I still rolled out. Good grief, it was Christmas Eve, lol!

 

I went to church, then to my parents house to cook and bake brownies. Oh how I love warm brownies and ice cream! It may be the best thing on Earth :)

 

Thursday, December 25: Christmas Day

We woke up and opened presents. I am always the one that has to motivate folks. I was walking around the house in my blanket singing, "it's time for presents, come on everybody, it's time for presents." We all had a good time, my dad liked the shoes and belt we got him, which is great and were dirt cheap! My sister liked the dress and earrings I got her, which was great because they were even dirtier cheap, lol. My mom like the jewelry, ehhh not so cheap, but still a steal. And TheCount's old complaining behind liked the blazer, 1 pair of shoes, and the book I got him, but not the other pair of shoes. Ehhhhh, it's cool. My sister and I were talking about how TheCount, my mom, and her boyfriend are quick to point on when they don't like something, but we will take it to our graves when they get us some ugly crap cuz they act like it hurts their feelings so much. I got a popcorn popper from my parents, LOVE IT! I've had popcorn every day since. I think I'll bring it to work and sell popcorn out of my office! My sister got me a shirt from Forever 21 (shoot it's a recession, I spent $15 on her, she spent $5 on me, gotta love it!). TheCount got me a Nintendo DS, a game for it, Annie on DVD, and an ipod adapter for my car :) Good times man!

 

After presents we met up with the extended fam and went to see Seven Pounds. I HATE dramas, but I love me some Will Smith and Rosario Dawson and I appreciate good acting even more. My christmas gift to my aunts that were there was a pack of tissue. They looked at me like why are you giving me this. Halfway through the movie they were very grateful! I come from a family of criers, shoot, I know how it is. TheCount and SisterTM were looking up and down the row of family frowning at us, they don't believe in crying at a movie. After the movie I had to cry some more cuz "I didn't get my cry out good" LOL TheCount was looking at me in disgust. I enjoyed the movie though, I love it when people are talented!

 

We spent the rest of our day making our rounds giving and receiving more gifts. SisterCount and I got in a fight because she got everybody a candy apple with their gift except TheCount and me. I was attacking the kids, trying to steal their apples and making fun of her daughter because "she don't even got no teeth to eat an apple with!" Let's just say she promised to go get me some candy and caramel apples and that the mistake won't happen again!

 

Friday, December 26

Did a bunch of nothing. Went to Dupont Circle to get eyebrows threaded, went to lunch with my mom and sister, and got traumatized by rodents! We were walking back to the car and this went down

SisterTM: "Is that a rat in the middle of the street?" 

Mom and I: looking toward the direction we were walking "nahhhhh..that's a ......ummmm.....ewwwwwwww"

Mom: "Oh my God. No it isn't, yes it is, oh no, what we gonna do?"

SisterTM: "Keep walking"

Me: ohhh you big and bad huh, wait till I teach you a lesson. I waited till we were walking past where we saw the rat go to the curb and out of our vision then I screamed and pushed my sister! Mannnnnnn  Miss Big and Bad took off screaming!

SisterTM: NOOOOOOOO! AGGGHHHHHH!

 

People probably thought we were crazy!

 

Saturday and Sunday

I did nothing but thank you/happy new year cards. Dear BlogWorld, have a small wedding or you will be writing thank you cards till the cows come home, that is all. Sincerely, a concerned blogger.

 

Today

TheCount literally had to pick me up out of the bed because I refused to get up. I'm at work but I'm making time to go out to Bath and Body works (sale today folks) and drive 20 miles to go to the waffle house for lunch! Yummmmmmmyyyyyyyy :)

 

How was your Christmas? What did BabyJesus put under your tree?

Weekend wrap up

While on our weekend away TheCount and I learned a lot more about each other, lol. We had some fun and funny times!

He learned: how much I flippin' love the waffle house! Hash browns, grilled cheese, and a waffle makes TM a very happy camper! I tried to eat there every single meal!

I learned: that if I get jumped because I wanted to be ignant, then TheCount will not help me! *set the scene: we were in the mountains, definitely in the minority, and there were mccain/palin stickers and signs EVERYWHERE! There was a stand in the mall selling tshirts. They all had confederate flags on them or were about hunting. TheCount didn't think it was funny when I decided to ask if they had any Obama tshirts. Shoot I thought it was funny and still do! The answer was no, by the way!

He learned: that I think I'm a bad @ss, even though I can't back it up worth a lick. The older men at the snow tubing hill that were cursing around the kiddies got my wrath. The man that had the audacity to interrupt my conversation with my husband got the face and evil head turn to which he promptly jumped back, put his hands in a defensive stance and apologized. TheCount was cracking up because I didn't realize I do that until I saw his response. TheCount was like. "I told you you were evil!"

I learned: TheCount and I will have to have a huge bathroom in our house because we require a huge tub. The jacuzzi there was the best and TheCount could finally stretch his legs out. Pure heaven!

We both learned: never eat at O'Charleys. It was so gross we wanted to die! Man, we should have went to the waffle house!

Introducing...Me!

After talking to a few holistic doctors and reading some books, I'm just not all that hyped up on meat. The hormones, antibiotics, and not to mention the conditions that SOME animals have to live in.

This hasn't been a fly by night decision, a few months ago I decided I wanted to live a healthier life. I started researching to find out what that would mean for me. I started making changes in my diet and started moving toward organic foods. I was thinking about how I want to look/feel in the future. I've been diagnosed with some pretty crappy things and feeding my body crap certainly won't help!

I've given up meat before, but normally only in increments of 1-2 months. I didn't miss it, I only started back because I lived with my family and they weren't going to buy special groceries just for me! Meat isn't really my thing anyway. Looking over the list of all the foods I cannot live without...meat isn't even on there. I'm not going vegan-yet, because I'm not ready to part with beloved dairy products, horrible I know! Since I started seriously considering being a vegetarian I haven't had any meat. TheCount was like, don't title it, just do you. But I have to title it or I'll make excuses every day for everything I want to eat. I've been telling people because knowing they know will make me not want to slip up. The hardest thing will probably be seafood. I love ALL seafood, but for now, that has to go too.

So hello blogworld, my name is Therapeutic Musings and I am now a vegetarian!

No Meat?

I'm thinking about becoming a vegetarian. Don't know the point of sharing that with y'all. Is anybody that reads this blog a vegetarian (Darius, no need to answer, lol. I know how you get down!)? Any tips, hints, concerns?

So yeah, I'm thinking about becoming a vegetarian, anybody got something to say?

(weekend wrap-up tomorrow)

Random Blessings

Hey laughing808 guess where TheCount and I are going this weekend? Massanutten! For free :) Good times man, good times. I'll try and remember to take some pictures. Swimming and Snow Tubing!

Hey everybody else, guess what I got in the mail yesterday? A darn bonus check from my job! Totally unexpected, totally wonderful! TheCount was hating, talking bout how I don't even do any work and I'm never on time. Well that's ok because Jesus still loves me and he knew I needed that. My new years resolution is to be on time for work!

Wanna know what my daddy is getting us for Christmas? A GPS system. If you've ever been in the car with TheCount or me then you've gotten lost with us before. We needed this like we need air to breathe! TheCount be getting all mad when we get lost. I act like I'm Dora and just get to exploring which makes him even more mad!

It's jeans day at work today. And breakfast day! Say whattt????

Alright, share you random blessings this lovely Friday!

If I were a bear

(and yes, I did type that singing it to the tune of If I were a boy! If I were creative  I would have written this entire post using that song. But I'm not, so I can't, and didn't even try)

 

Y'all want to know something TheCount says to me all the time? I bet you'd never guess what it is:

 

"TM you cannot hibernate!"

 

I kindly beg to differ. I didn't get to work today until 10:45. I didn't wake up until 9:30. I am just so tired during the winter. Honestly most of the times TheCount has gotten upset with me since we've been married have been over sleeping. I've always had this hibernation disorder. Last time I tried to talk to my doctor about it she told me I was depressed. I looked at her and was like nooooo, I'm sleepy, and don't worry, I won't be back in your office. I am a lot of things, depressed is not one of them.

 

It was like this in college too. Once the cold hit, you could catch me in the bed during most class times. I was so glad that the college I went to gave us the entire month of January off. I was a hibernating fool! One year I took ice skating lessons during the month off as my P.E. course. It was only 2 days a week. I would wake up, meet my best friend, we would go to class, then go to lunch, then go back to our rooms and sleep! Pure bliss. I do not like the cold, it makes me sleepy. Even with all my oversleeping this morning I was still dead tired driving in to work. Shoot, I'm yawning as I type. I think I should have been born a bear. Then I could hibernate, even just for a day. I could sleep all I wanted and would never get confronted for it, cuz the bears would stick up for me! LOL (told y'all I shouldn't have attempted to be creative)

I love it when we're cruising together

Sunday night TheCount and I went to my company Christmas party. It was so much fun! I don't normally have fun in a group of people. Or around loud music. Or a bunch of folks with an open bar (drunk foolishness has never been funny too me). Or at buffets. Or trapped on a boat where I can't escape when I get tired of people, music, open bar actions, and nasty buffet food. But this time I had a ball! First off, it was a cruise from 6-9 in DC. It was beautiful on and off the boat. The food was delicious, I even went back for seconds (okay, I only got a plate of mashed potatoes the second time, lol).TheCount and I even rebelled and had 2 strawberry smoothies, each! LOL! The lady was looking at us like that's all you want? A smoothie? YepYep, make it a double! The DJ was ok, he had quite a few missteps during the course of the night. Playing Single Ladies at an office Christmas party probably won't send folks running to the dance floor. There was on ship entertainment. Our waiters and waitresses were also singers and dancers which was fun, of course, they had a few missteps too. Errors in judgement if you will. Those green glitter tops on the guys, not so much a good idea. Her voice singing Santa Baby, horrible idea! We did get some great laughs though at them trying to teach this older Indian man the electric slide, cupid shuffle, and DC booty call. He was determined to dance his butt off and he could not follow the steps! He had a ball trying and we had a ball laughing so it was all good. Since I work for a contracting company we were seated by company. Guess who was there from where I work. Ummmm me! Thankfully they also invited one of the nurses that worked at a wellness fair with me before so there was a whole 4 people at my table when every other table had between 8-20 people.

 

The only part I was mad about is that the cruise occurred during the Steelers-Ravens game. First I was cool, had forgotten all about it. Then I heard somebody say the Steelers were losing. Whatttttt???? I whipped out my phone. I have a NFL application so I can get the scores and plays in real time. I was glued to my phone. Somebody walked past us and heard us saying something about football:

 

Man: Hey man, you got the score to the game?

TheCount: Nah, but my wife does

Man: Looking at me like, word?

Me: Who do you want to win?

Man: Steelers

Me: Oh ok, then don't worry, I'll keep you updated

 

At one point the performers were in the middle of a song and Big Ben threw an incomplete pass with less than a minute left. I started hollering, "Come on Ben, we trying to win!" Then I realized the singer was right by our table and I was being rude, I felt horrible. When we were on the 1 yard line and it was fourth down my phone stopped updating. I was going panicking tyring to figure out what was going on. TheCount was like don't worry, they'll kick a field goal, the game will be tied. Then my phone updated right at the end of a song and my ignant tail hollered out "Touchdown!" I guess they were reviewing a play which is why I didn't get an update. The other dude interested in the game turned around grinning and stuff. Of course my Steelers pulled through and won which turned a good night into an even better one.

 

How have your office Christmas parties been this year? (hint hint Pink, who had one this weekend yet has not told us about it. I wanna see the dress!)

It's Christmas Time

The holidays bring about different memories and traditions for everybody. For me, one of the ways I can tell Christmas is coming when I start craving tangerines and clementines like crazy! Last year I was living at home and I had a stash of tangerines in the purse hanging on my bed post. The year before that I kept a case of clementines next to my dorm room bed. I'm like a fiend. I have to have at least 3 a day or I start getting the twitches.

We have our presents wrapped under our Christmas plant. I would take a picture but I dare not embarrass myself like that! It looks like the Charlie Brown Christmas tree! How perfect for our first Christmas, lol. We have our lights up inside, the Christmas candle and snowglobe in place and our electric candles in place in the front windows, all for less than $30 thanks to 50% off sales at Lowes and Michaels.

This year on my gifts to people instead of a sticker with their name on it I got Christmas ornaments with their names on them and attached it to the present. Now next year they can have it on their tree and think of me!



What are some of your holiday traditions?

Party Time

Me looking at my sister with a general look of disgust. She was kissing the magazine, lol.

My sister comes home today! We have an extra key made for her so that when my parents get on her nerves she can come up here. TheCount is excited too because now I have a sidekick for my foolishness. I'm a loner and it makes him uncomfortable because he will go out and play basketball with his friends on a Saturday and I'll stay home. I don't know why people can't understand that I want to be along sometimes. I am very productive and it's relaxing. **I'm actually typing this on a Saturday when TheCount is out playing basketball, lol. I've cleaned up, I'm doing laundry and scheduling my posts for the week, and I'm going to soak in the tub after this** If I wanted to hang out with my girls I could easily call and hook up with them, but I don't want to! This is my time.

Anyway, when my sister gets here I finally have somebody to create music videos and dances with. The first one up is "Womanizer", TheCount just won't dance with me, lol. Here are some photos of one of our old music sessions

I was getting the party started!



Trying to see if she still had it from her cheerleading days. Clearly the answer was no as she goes down!



"Under my umbrella ella ella ella"




We were singing "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood, lol. As you can see, I was finally combing down my wrap

Good Idea...Bad Idea: Grocery Shopping!

This week I went to the grocery store with my reusable bags and my list of things and was in and out in a flash. I realized I go to a lot of grocery stores so here is the rundown of my favorite and my least favorite grocery stores.

Good Idea: Shoppers Food Warehouse

If you want to save money while still having a great selection of products, this store is great! It's just like Safeway, Giant, and Super Fresh but much cheaper! Some of them are better than others. You have to check them out and see.

Bad Idea: Sav a Lot, Aldi, and Bottom Dollar

While they do save you a lot of money, the stores are cramped, I've found more dirty stores than clean ones, and they don't have the variety I'm used too. They have mostly generic brands so you probably won't see the brands you're used to.

Good Idea: Harris Teeter

While a little expensive for some items the quality and selection is great. If you are looking for some sort of exotic produce, high tail it there! I was in there just touching everything, I had never heard of this stuff. Bright, clean, nicely spaced aisles. Good times, man.

Bad Idea: Safeway

This store is too daggon expensive!

Bad Idea: Magruder's

I think this store is only around the DMV and while the sales paper looked promising OMG the quality of the produce was terrible! Y'all the broccoli was brown and limp, all the apples were bruised, the store was cramped, the people made me hit them with my cart because they were rude, and I was scared to buy meat, lol

Bad Idea: Whole Foods

I'm sorry but I can't afford this darn store. I pass it right on by.

Good Idea: Trader Joe's, Giant, Food Lion

Basic stores. Nothing special.

Best Idea: My Organic Market

Sorry but you can only shop here in the DMV. This store makes me smile! Great quality, non expensive, organic foods. Ohhhh how I love it. And they bag and carry your groceries out to your car. Everybody was friendly, I got some banging apples for .99 a pound. If you live in the area you must go to this store!

Angels watching over me

I left work at 4:30 today on my way to a hair appointment at 5. It was already dark outside and it's raining today. I'm in my car thinking about what I'm going to do while under the dryer. I decide to blog about my day which consisted of a serious of complaints. While complaining to myself this car pulls out in front of me. As in it was parked at the curb and the front of my car is at its bumper and she doesn't see me. I slam on the brakes but I'm going about 40mph. I start screaming and honk my horn. She notices me and jams on the gas. Y'all our cars were about an inch apart. My car actually stopped, which it has never done that quickly without me pulling up the emergency brake. Had we hit she would have been severely injured because I was at her door. My poor saturn would have been totaled. Good looking out God!

On Tuesday I was in my car on my way to work. I normally pray as I'm driving in the morning since there is so much traffic and I'm alone and can pray out loud. I started my prayer at about 8:00 (yeah I was supposed to be at work!). I finished about 8:15. A few minutes later TheCount calls me and tells me he was just in an accident. He was driving on the beltway and a car smashed into the back of him. Guess what? No damage! Zero, not even a scratch, and this is on the beltway! I told him I just got finished praying for him. He asked me what I prayed for, I told him "protection and provision and that you would feel God's love today."

Angels have seriously had our back this week. The next time I start to complain I'm going to pause and think about being grateful because I sure am blessed!

Have a great weekend all!

I'm a cooking machine

This cookbook is hot fire, lol. Seriously y'all, you need to get this in your life. I don't care if you can't cook, you still need this book. I am a super picky eater and I haven't made anything I didn't like yet. I learned about it on Spiced Honey's blog (which I lurk on, lol). She raved about it so I thought, why not? I promise you will not regret it.

Recipes I've tried so far:

Hearty Black Bean Chili with Homemade Tortillas
Chicken Parmesan with homemade tomato sauce
Pizza Bites
Buttery Rice
So-Serious Suffocated Pork Chops (last night's dinner. A-MA-ZING!)
Broccoli with Garlic and Parmesan (with last night's dinner too. A-MA-ZING TOO)
Roasted Garlic Fingerling Potatoes (I love me some garlic potatoes)
Broiled Chicken
Curried Chicken
Cheddar Garlic Biscuits (I've blogged about these before. BEWARE: Don't eat the whole pan. People will talk about you. And you just might get sick)
Grilled Garlic Steak

One of the things I like about this book is that they provide a main dish paired with side dishes. So if you are cooking challenged you can see what goes with what. If you want any of the recipes I posted tell me which one and leave me your email address. Once you try one recipe you will happily run out to buy the cookbook.

Anybody have any cookbooks they would like to recommend? MamaCount got me a Better Home's and Garden cookbook but I haven't used it or liked it nearly as much as my Get 'em Girls' Guide.

Devil Pills and devil food

Yesterday I was in Salisbury for work. I was sitting in a hospice with a splitting headache and no internet connection. I was a very sad camper. On the way home I alleviated my sadness by making a pit stop at the outlets. A skirt, 2 shirts, and 6 pieces of jewelry later, I was feeling good, feeling great! Got home laid on the couch with a blanket over my head and slept the headache off. I woke up to find that TheCount had not only cleaned up my trail of socks, nail polishes, and purses, but he put the rest of the Christmas lights up too :) It made me smile big time. Hopefully this is the last week of these headaches. I'm making the doctor switch these devil birth control pills again. Shoot, I'd rather just have a baby if I'm going to have headaches, not be able to wear my contacts comfortably, be nauseated, have mood swings, and gain weight, lol. I said that to say that Yaz and Yasmin are the devil. You have been warned ladies!

 

On my job they are having The Biggest Loser competition. I'm not participating because I refuse to lose over 10 pounds because I like my size. My booty is hot, lol. I am however coaching my officemate. I've written about her many times before. She eats McDonald's every day. She drinks at LEAST 5 Pep.si's a day. For lunch she has "soup" aka oodles of noodles (top ramen). Ms. Lady that is packed full of sodium. That is a hard times meal! I latch key kid or a college kid meal. You can and you will do better. I have some health tips from magazines that I'm going to write up and post on her computer. When I bring my healthy lunches (like my chili today made with ground turkey and black beans [not canned beans though, way too salty]) I will share with her so that she can do better. She thinks she can go from eating McDonalds and Pe.psi every day to just plain salads and be satisfied. No you cannot, you will be hungry, cranky, and you will fall off the wagon. She had cancer a few months ago so really she needs this to help her body stay healthy. Her husband probably wouldn't mind if she got back down to the size 10 she was a few years ago, I think she's double that size now. Her doing this diet will keep me from gaining the "marriage weight" lol. Ohhh yeah, I trapped TheCount now, time for me to blow upppp! Just kidding folks!

 

Does anybody have some good weight loss tips, or good "diet" meals. I'm determined to help her. It'll help me too, knowing she has to see what I bring for lunch I won't be lazy and run out to get fast food. This will be so fun!

Weekend Wrap-Up

Friday: The Christmas Party was fun. I wasn't under dressed. Dude with the bow tie and vest was VERY overdressed, lol. They made me get up and mingle, which I'm not a fan of, but it was cool. I offered many people the chance to be their designated driver since I don't drink, but they said they were fine. I pray they all make it in today. This one dude kept trying to talk to me. He drank and smoked and my nose does not like that! I was looking at him like your breath is turning my stomach! As soon as he turned around I hightailed it from the table and hung with different folks. Toward the end of the party my legs started shaking. Thinking they were just tired from being in my heels all day I left the party to get home and rest. Halfway home I started feeling dizzy, got a headache, and my stomach started cramping. Uggghhh when I got in the house I was a mess. I was doubled over in pain. TheCount kept asking what I ate but all I had was a chicken taco and steak taco, with literally tortilla, cheese, and meat. That's it, no need for me to have to spend all that time running for the bathroom. I ended up falling asleep around 9 and TheCount carried me to bed because he couldn't risk waking me up and having to hear me moan in pain again, lol

 

Saturday: MamaTM and I went to King of Prussia mall in PA. That mall was huge! We literally shopped until we dropped. I was begging to be finished and sit down. My whole body hurts from the walking and bag carrying. I did get some amazing deals because I am a good bargain shopper! $5 sweater dresses and cardigans from Macy's. When the lady scanned it she was like, ummm this isn't right. Too bad missy. Ring them all up :) MamaTM was being a hater because I showed up in a skirt with boots and tights. She kept saying, "you think you cute don't you?" When I pointed out how many people had complemented me that day she replied, "well people just do that to be polite and make conversation." To which I pointed out, "how many people "made conversation with you?" She got this stuck look on her face and then we both just started laughing.

 

Sunday: I had some nightmares during the night and woke up with a really bad attitude and swollen eyes because I'm pretty sure I cried during my sleep. It really threw off my day. I kept crying and wouldn't talk. Normally when I have a day like that I can tell in the morning and I just stay in my room all day because there is nothing really wrong, it's just one of those days. I'm glad I can't remember the dreams but I am embarrassed because I cried everywhere Sunday. Church, my parent's house, Ver.izon, Lowes, anytime somebody tried to talk to me. When we got home I shut myself in the room, played Beyonce's cd over and over until I was distracted enough to get up and sing. Then I emerged from the room happy and cheerful. TheCount and I watched football, my team won, his lost, ate pizza, and chased each other around in circles until we both fell out.

 

Today: I MADE IT TO WORK ON TIME! Y'all have no idea what an accomplishment that is. Most days I'm at least an hour late, but I'm working on it. I was early to church yesterday too! I'm going to keep this up all week :) Now, time to make an appointment with the doctor because this birth control is the devil!

 

How was your weekend guys?

Emergency Shopping Trip

Set the scene:TM is glancing around nervously at her coworkers. Tonight is the annual Christmas Party. Normally it's an after 5 event and is formal. This year it is from 4-7. It's also the first time I will be present. I wasn't sure what to wear so I put on black slacks, a turquoise silky type shirt, a gray shrug and grayish/silverish shoes.

 

Now I'm at work and I see fully made up faces (ok, that's cool, I have makeup in my bag, I can work it out in the bathroom). Then I see a burgundy vest and bowtie on somebody. Ok, did I miss the memo? Then my office worker who wears stretch pants and sweaters every day pulls out these badddddd shoes and some sheer flowy pants. One dude came in with his all white on. Ummmm should I be planning an emergency shopping trip to TJMaxx during lunch? I don't want to be the fool in the pictures that have people saying "where was she going?" LOL My outfit is dressy but it aint stand next to a dude in a tuxedo dressy. I panic about wearing appropriate clothes all the time. My mom, sister, or husband has always helped me with these things, I am way too self conscious. I'm going to look around at what some more people have on to see if I need to be hightailing it out of here to get an outfit. Problem is, when I get to TJMaxx I'll probably trip out because I don't know what to get and a salesperson will find me hunched over in the dressing room crying... because that's happened...more than once, lol. Been found by a coworker, my mom, the count, a storeworker, and a stranger. I got's issues!

 

Ohhh somebody please console me. Tell me I'm not the only idiot that cries in dressing rooms. I am? Daggonit, My momma always told me I was strange.

 

Tomorrow I'm going on a bus shopping trip with my mama, you better believe I will be buying an outfit for the other Christmas party I have to go to in 2 weeks. I'm off to go scope out outfits and figure out a game plan!

 

This post just won't end. I just saw another girl in white pants. I have some! They would have looked ammmaazziiingggg with this getup. Why aint nobody tell me!?

Dear Single Ladies:

I understand that you want a man, really I do. Here's the problem. You cannot have mine. He liked it and he already put a ring on it. Go find your own, put in your own work to train him how you want him, then get him to wife you. Don't go up to somebody else's already trained man and think you are going to swoop in and make him wife you. He has already done that once, you missed out. Your sly comments don't go unnoticed. It's sad really. That you are that tragic that you can't find a man that doesn't have a ring on it. Your sly questions to my husband are not needed. Day after day you see him eating his lunch out of tupperware containers, you don't see him running out to McDonald's or heating up a hungry man meal, why ask "oh, your wife cook for you every day?" And if I don't are you going to bring him lunch? Do it and I will slice your thumb off, try me. And to the chick that wanted to know if I demanded that he marry me or if he proposed on his own. Yeahhhh how did demanding your ex marry you work out? Oh that's right, you're still single, so we see how that method turns out. He did it on his own. With a fabulous surprise party, I have pictures and a video tape I could show you if you would like. Don't worry, it brings me to tears too. We can cry together; you, your tears of sorrow, me, my tears of joy. Hey tissue absorbs them both the same. So keep on ladies, my husband and I have a good laugh at your expense every night over the dinner that I have prepared. The next time you think you should flirt with my husband remember, I will find you and TM is not afraid to cut a b!t(h. Have a blessed day!

Riddle Me This

How come I can make a bomb sesame chicken dish and even more banging curried chicken but I cannot fry chicken to save my darn life? Seriously, I made curried chicken tonight for dinner it was super simple and tasted all complicated and stuff! I've never actually had curried chicken that I liked before, I made a believer out of myself. I have this cookbook that I'm going to have to do a post on. I got it because it was recommended on this blog that I lurk on. Between that book and Darius' blog, I am a cooking machine! This may be what I bring in for the PotLuck either that or Blackbean chili with homemade tortillas (also from the cookbook). I have to try the chili next week, then I'll know for sure which will make the cut.


Y'all why did my momma go on a bus trip to a funeral yesterday? Am I the only one that found that...ummmm...odd? Like she was going to a play or a shopping trip. All excited. Called me talking 'bout, "girl we bout to go eat now, but that funeral was nice, I'll tell you about it later." Uhhhh, ok?

Today I'm driving to Salisbury for work. It's about 2.5 hours away but you'll hear no complaints from me! Why? Cuz my gas reimbursement check for December is about $350. Ohhhh yeah baby. And that's only 3 trips, this is the best side hustle ever! I can't wait until spring when we have a million and twelve fairs for work. Travelinngggggg!

Still not over the curried chicken. It was that good :) I am more awesome than even I know!

I have been having good hair weeks lately. Last week and this week. It's getting lonnnggggg! My regimen has been so simple. Cantu shea butter moisturizer at night, wrap it, then apply a little coconut oil in the morning. On wash day I've been rollersetting it on the big red rollers going to bed and unrolling it in the morning. No heat and my scalp is thanking me for it. My scalp is super sensitive. Kiddie perms burn me, adult relaxers move me to tears and falling out on the floor. Blowdriers? Cause me scabs and boils, I never straighten out my roots. I moisturize wrap it and tie it down. If you like flat hair, don't try any of what I just said. I'll try to get a picture or two, don't count on it, lol.

Another reason I don't do PotNoLuck's

I can't figure out how to send more than one picture at a time from my phone and I refuse to be emailing and saving a million and twelve pictures just to show y'all some Thanksgiving food so forget that! My words will have to suffice. Not much went on at my house during Thanksgiving. TheCount got up at 8:30 to get ready to go play football. I laid in bed protesting asking would he be upset if I missed it. MamaTM came in about 10:15 hollering about why I wasn't out their supporting my man. Strangers came in and out of my home to pick up their fried turkey's (remember my dad has a catering business). I hid out in my room. All the exact same thing that happened last year, except this year MamaTM didn't drag me to the football game and I didn't walk out of the bathroom in a towel to see a strange old man on the couch. We didn't have many people over, 8 in total and one was my mom and aunt's new friend from church. This lady is funny! More than a few times she had us looking at her like: ummmmm what?

 

The first time was when she asked me to go get her some food. My family all looked at me like "please don't embarass us, just go do it." Shoot when I'm eating it is best not to disturb me. I was going upstairs to get something for me and my husband. Didn't you see my mama didn't even ask me for anything? LOL But I'm not that rude so I brought it back down for her. They were having a discussion about my mom's disdain for washing greens ( I really don't see how y'all eat those. They smell like death and dispair) and how some people said they wash them in their bathtub and how she thought that was gross. The new lady then decided it was appropriate to share this:

NewLady:"my mama washed them just like she washed our clothes"

MamaTM: "oh you mean like scrubbing them out in the sink?"

NewLady:"Ummmhmm with Tide Washing powder"

Auntie: sitting behind her now giving the what the heck face

MamaTM: "oh you mean baking soda?"

NL: "Nooo, a little Tide washing powder get all the dirt out"

Auntie: "Ohhh you mean like dish detergent?"

NL:"Nooo like what she used on our clothes"

TheCount and TM: sitting on the couch laughing so hard at my aunt looking at the back of this woman's head like she was crazy and imagining going in the back to pull out the Tide to wash the produce for all future meals!

 

Has anybody else heard of this? Using washing powder to clean your food? Maybe this is something they do everywhere and my family missed the memo.

PotNoLuck luncheon

I didn't have time to do my Thanksgiving picture post yet, so I'll have that for tomorrow. I will keep this one food themed though. My department is having a potluck gift exchange next week. I love all things Christmas and I love all things food. EXCEPT potlucks! No sir, I am not a fan of the potluck. I love cooking and have no problem bringing something to share, but I do have a problem with other people cooking and bringing something to share. Why? Because not everybody has my same standards. I used to work with a woman with 4 inch acrylic nails. She was always offering some food or reaching into my food bag and I wouldn't touch anything she did. Why? Cuz not only were her nails super long she was very very overweight and I couldn't understand how she wiped her bottom without all that nastiness getting trapped under her nails. That is gross, can't do it. I thought working here would be different but then my officemate up and informs me of this:

 

 

She had some plumbing issues in her townhome the other week. Her toilet and shower started bubbling and they filled up with pee and poop. You get that? All of her neighbors pee and poop filled up her toilet and bathtub. So much so that it overflowed. And leaked down into the kitchen. Into the sink. Where she had dishes! It did this on Sunday, they waited a while to see if it would rectify itself, it didn't, so they called the plumber. The plumber came out on Monday and fixed it and then it happened again Monday night and another plumber came out Tuesday to fix it. There are 2million things wrong with this story, but the main things are: 1. How in the heck did your family sleep in a house filled with other people's waste. Can you imagine that smell? 2. That ish leaked through your ceiling. Did you get somebody in there to treat that? 3. This heifer said "I used a whole bottle of bleach cleaning up. I bleached the bathroom, the sink, and the dishes." Hold the heck up. You bleached the dishes? Did you mean to say you burned the dishes and then bleached the ashes? How can you eat on some dishes that were covered in YOUR NEIGHBORS WASTE! You are nasty. {another coworker and I had a field day reenacting scenes from those 3 days in her life. We imagined poop coming out of the shower head while bathing, her bad @ss daughter playing in it, and what her house will smell like next month when the stuff that leaked through her ceiling molds and starts stinking up the place}

 

Anyway, because of stories like that from coworkers, I aint eating nothing you cook! Bleached the dishes smh.

 

Now I'm torn. I guess I'll go and eat my dish a find out what people I trust made and eat that. I just don't want to offend anybody by not eating their dish cuz people always be asking "ohh did you try what I made?" I've got my standard excuse ready, "no, I'm deathly allergic!"

 

Beware!

This will be your only warning. Do not invite us to your house, we will not leave! TheCount and I are taking over my parent's house. It's been great :)

Wednesday: Noon
Me: Mommy, we spending the night at your house tonight, ok?
Ma: No! I just cleaned up, y'all are messy
Me: Ok, see you after church.

I got there about 10:30pm, TheCount got their at 11. He parked in the driveway blocked my mama's car in when she was trying to go to Thanksgiving morning service.
Ma: Tell your husband if he has the balls to park in my driveway again, I'll break his neck

Thanksgiving night around 9pm
Me: Ma, you wanna go to the outlets, they are having a pajama jam at midnight!
Ma: Girl please, go home.
Me: Ok, come with me, spend the night at my house since the mall is 2 minutes from my house. TheCount can spend the night with daddy.
Ma: Shut up, just go downstairs and go back to sleep. Get me up at 3:30

Later between my parents:
Ma: You going to work tomorrow?
Dad: Yeah
Ma: Then TheCount will be here by himself
Dad: So, he has a key
Ma: THEY DON'T LIVE HERE AND THAT BOY AINT FAMILY, PARKING IN MY DRIVEWAY LIKE HE CRAZY (btw, she was joking folks)
Dad: Please, them kids here more than we are

Friday:
Daddy: Ummm, y'all only rented this room for one night. Why are you still here? Do I need to give you the extended rates?
Me: No daddy, we are leaving when TheCount gets done at the barbershop

I fall asleep in the bed with my mom watching tv. I wake up 2 hours later and TheCount is beside me, not my mom. At 9:30pm I go upstairs to talk to my mom.
Ma: Y'all getting ready to go?
Me: Yeah

It's midnight and guess where we still are?

I have lots of Thanksgiving pictures and the Black Friday loot to post later!

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

Re: Yesterday's post: Everybody has jokes! LOL

 

Moving On:

 

Since I was on time to work on Monday and Tuesday I decided I could be late today :) Well the fact that I refused to get out of bed because I woke up in the middle of the night with a headache and I needed to make up for that hour of lost sleep. And the fact that we are spending the night at my parents house tonight and they are spending the night at ours on Thursday so I had to make sure the house was spotless and the fact that the right side of my hair which is normally the good side went all crazy on me. All that said, I got here 1 1/2 hours late, it's all good though as soon as I finish this I'm going to get my breakfast and finish the rest of the day by doing nothing.

 

Anyway......It's holiday time! I love Thanksgiving/Christmas time. I get all super cheesy and emotional and I love holiday traditions.

On Thanksgiving morning TheCount goes and plays football with the church. I've been going to but only because a couple of years ago he fractured his leg and kept on playing. Ever since then I've been the girl on the sidelines trying to beat up other players that get too close to my baby. We always go to at least 3 houses to eat, cuz we are greedy like that.

 

My mom, my sister, and I always go shopping on Black Friday. Well my sister won't be coming home this year but TheCount is joining us. He went with us a couple of years ago and he aint been right since, lol. We took him to Wa.l Ma.rt that dude still hates that store to this day! He has nightmares and flashbacks of the people, the lines, oh the horror! I promised him I would never make him do that again. We will probably split up, him and my dad go to Circuit City to get the t.v. and my mom and I go to JCPe.nny, Ma.cy's, Target, Loe.manns (or however you spell it), Ul.ta, Ex.pre.ss, and anything other than that will just be bonus shopping. Those are the stores I must hit.

 

Saturday I plan on slleeepppinnnngggggg till I feel like getting up. Hopefully TheCount will be so worn out he'll keep his early bird behind in the bed too. He always gets up all early talking 'bout "this chick is the most sleepingest girl ever," or "Babe, what you doing?" Duhhhh I'm sleeping get out. When I finally roll out of bed he be on the couch pouting, lol, telling me that I'm not a bear and it is not cool for humans to hibernate. HATERRRRR!  Just cuz you can't enjoy a full 14 hour rest don't get mad at me!

 

What are your plans for Thanksgiving?

 

 

(ohhh are emails aren't working today! You know what that means? Extra no work! Let's all go home!!)

Dear People of the World

The following people owe me an apology:

 

Pink

Pserendipity

MamaTM

PapaTM

TheCount's 2 best friends

 

Why? Cuz I am NOT pregnant! Whooohoooo I so failed that test this morning :) I told y'all I am not having kids for another 3 years. I will continue to take my birth control every day and I will continue to not be pregnant.  Also, between the 6 of y'all somebody better come up with $8 to give me for making me waste my money on that test, lol.  I really am just sensitive to smells, lazy when it's cold, and get sick from doing stupid things like eating an entire pan of cheddar garlic biscuits.

 

On another note, how about TheCount and I got a random check in the mail for $150 yesterday! I was praise dancing all around, lol. Keep it coming :)

 

Now, let the apologizing begin.

TheCount's 23rd Birthday

We had a lovely, lovely day on Saturday :) We woke up around 9ish and I fixed him Cinnamon pancakes and eggs. Then we went up to the movie theatre (we are old, we like to go to the movies early on Saturday's, cheap tickets and no people!). We went to see Role Model. It was funny. There was only about 10 other people in the theatre and they were all old, except the people behind us which were parents who brought their daughter (in college) and son (in high school). It was awkward because I'm sure their kids wanted to laugh at some stuff but didn't want their parent's looking at them sideways, lol. Shoot, I was laughing so hard at some parts but I didn't want all the old people in the theatre to go complain about the loud black girl so I was doing my silent laugh, which only made it worse. I had my head on TheCount's shoulder and I was shaking so hard from laughing. We had fun, it will probably be funnier when we rent it and watch it with our friends. It's always more fun when you have people that crack additional jokes as the movie is on. **Sidestory: We were walking up to the movie theatre ticket box and I saw this older lady walking up from the other direction. I like to do this thing where I race people to a certain point, even though they have no idea we are competing. So I said to TheCount, "hurry up, let's race her, she's trying to beat us." He shook his head (as usual) and was like "baby that woman aint thinking about you." So I'm looking at her and racing and she looks at me, figures out what I'm doing and breaks into a full on run! I am not kidding she had to be at least 60, lol. I was in disbelief and started cracking up. When I got to the ticket counter (behind her) she turned around and mugged on me! TheCount was like, well dag, bet you won't race old folks no more!**

 

So after the movies we went to the mall to get our niece and nephew a birthday present. Limited Too was having a buy 1 get 1 free sale! I was having wayyyy too much fun in there :) After we procured their gifts we went to lunch at That's Amore in Columbia. Service was so-so, I think it was because they were having a banquet on the other side so all the attention went to them. I ordered this pasta with shrimp, scallops, clams, mussels, and calamari. It was good but after a while the smell started getting to me so I had to stop. I haven't been able to make myself eat any of the leftovers. It didn't help that TheCount was making faces at me every time I picked up the baby octopus, yeahhhhhhh I just made myself sick all over again, lol.

 

After lunch we drove all the way from Columbia to Waldorf for the kids' birthday "party". A party it was not! But it was fun. It can't be considered a party if the only people their are your siblings and aunt and uncle, in my opinion. But we played with the kids, watched Muppets From Space (y'all TheCount keeps making me watch that movie and each time he says he's never seen it before, I think he's embarrassed. I've seen that thing at LEAST 4 times with him, lol). After we watched the movie we decided to walk the kids' dog since that poor nappy headed thing hasn't been cared for properly in a long time. The kids all decided they should come with us so TheCount and I bundled up 4 kiddies and went walking around the neighborhood. It was a lot of fun. The kids have been asking to come up to the apartment (there have even been requests to come live with us, another story, another day). So we're trying to find some time for them but it's hard because they live an hour away and every time their mom says she is going to do something, she doesn't. After we left their "party" TheCount's friends took us to Outback ( I need to do some post's about them too). That was fun too, and tasty! After dinner we went and watched 88 minutes. Ughhhh I am not a good thriller movie watcher. I try to kill everybody because I get so frustrated when people act stupid. I kept hollering "just shoot her, come on, kill her, nobody will tell." Anger management was recommended for me, lol.

 

On Sunday we went to church and chilled at my parent's house. My mom decided she wanted to get on facebook, lol, so I helped her get her page up because my dad and my sister couldn't do it.

 

Me: Mommy what's your password?

Mom: Retired

Me: That's what I keep doing.........Mommy, spell retired.

Mom: RETRED

Me: No ma'am, that would be incorrect (I typed it in it still didn't work)

Mom: Move, y'all are stupid, let me do it. (she types it and gets in)

Me: Write down what you typed

Mom: RETRIED

Me: Are you dyslexic? That's retried, as in try again, you spelled that soooo wrong!

 

We were laughing her out, and she had to go tell my dad that the reason he couldn't log on to any of their accounts lately is because she spelled the password wrong, lol.

 

Great times with family. It doesn't get any better than that! How was your weekend?

This post is not about me

Did you read that title Pink? This is not about me, lol.

This happened to one of my friends this week. Three people are involved. Friend, Friends Mom, and Friends Grandmom. Got that? Follow along kiddies:

Mom: Why are your boobs so big? Are you pregnant?
Friend: No mom.
Mom: Yes you are, your boobs are getting bigger
Friend: Ma, please

A few days later

Grandmom: Is friend gaining weight? She's looking a little bigger. Don't say anything, I don't want to hurt her feelings.
Mom: gets to thinking. Hmmm her brothers have made me an illegitimate grandma 4 to many times. This girl better not be lying to me.

A few more days later. Friend is in the bathroom


Mom: bursts into the bathroom
Friend:Ma! I'm using the bathroom
Mom: Girl pee on this stick. You better not be lying to me, pee on this stick now
Friend: I already used the bathroom.
Mom: locks the bathroom door and stands in front of it You aint leaving till you pee on this damn stick!
Friend: I'm not pregnant ma!
Mom: Then pee on the stick

Friend pees on the stick. Guess what boys and girls? Duhhhhh she is soooo pregnant, lol. Well I shouldn't say sooooo. She is 20 days along. In 20 days her momma and grandmomma with Alzheimer's noticed she was getting big. IN 20 DAYS!

The story cracked me up, her momma is pissed though. She called MamaTM cussin and fussin. Told her husband then ran out the house. Lord, it's going to be some interesting times coming up.

I still have one question though. How do these little high school girls hide a pregnancy for 9 months (My friend no where near small, how did they see she was getting big)? These high schoolers live with their parents and interact with teachers and peers every day and nobody notices they are pregnant? My friend got busted in 20 DAYS! Unless somebody is lying about a timeline, these other parents got some splaining to do![you must read that part in the voice of Ricky Ricardo, go back, read it again, then comment, lol]

Sleeping In

This morning I decided I didn't want to get up, so I didn't. I'm supposed to be at work at 8, I got out the bed at 8:45. Strolled my happy tail into work at 10. Then I realized I left my lunch and all my snacks at home :( I had planned on going out and running all my errands today anyway, but then I looked at the bank account and it looked a little different from what I was expecting, lol. So now I will be eating whatever I have in my desk drawer which turns out to be a granola bar, oatmeal, cashews, and my emergency stash of easy mac! All good things to have on hand because you never know when times are going to get a little iffy. It's going to be alright though, I'm not too worried about it. 

 

Ohhh you know how yesterday I mentioned the maintenance worker came and "reseted" our plugs? Well how bout that sorry sucker didn't check to make sure they worked!? Ugggghhhh don't half do a job! This morning I went to curl one side of my hair (the right side came out looking fierce! The left side was all bushy) in the bathroom. I plugged in the curling iron and nothing! It didn't even work. Then I wanted to check the plug the worker replaced in the kitchen and they fixed it off center so you can't even put anything in the socket! For real? Y'all gonna do me like that? Needless to say, TheCount will be going back down there so they can come fix it correctly. 

 

It's funny because a wholllleeeeee lot of things have been happening lately that seem to be trying to frustrate us or throw us off course. Somebody's mama is doing some major hating and throwing salt in our plans. Things are coming up that were really unexpected. And crazy health issues keep popping up. Something great must be about to happen for us if Satan is working this much to steal our joy :) I can't wait until we find out what it is so I can share it with everybody, all I know is it must be great cuz everyday I'm falling to my knees praying so I don't get discouraged.

 

Let's change the topic shall we? Let's bring some happiness to this little blog o' mine. We went to the gym last night (ohhh and I made some great garlic parmesean potato wedges!). Aside from me hollering out "I'm going to die" every five minutes it was fun. I saw my best friend's daddy. But I don't particularly care for him and I didn't think he would recognize me so I didn't speak. Now I gotta see this sleezeball man a few times a week because he is a gym nut and when he isn't out cheating on his wife, he's in the gym. Ooops did I say too much? Ok I'll end this now then.  

We are a raggedy pair

Y'all, TheCount and I have been super raggedy as of late, lol. We need to be locked in our apartment so that the masses don't have to be tortured. TheCount is sick, thankfully he doesn't whine and carry on (he leaves that to me!), he simply requests hot food and tea, I love it! When he whines I know he is on his death bed (it's only happened twice in the last 5 1/2 years) so this is just a mild cold, but good gracious he is looking all types of sick, lol. He moves all slow and has his mouth hanging open, lol. Lest you think this is just a "make fun of my husband post" let me get on myself!

 

Our outlet in the bathroom wasn't working. I washed my hair Friday night but it wasn't dry yet when TheCount was ready to go on Saturday so I had to blow dry it and flat iron it. Why was my raggedy behind using the magnetic locker mirror on the side of our fridge. That thing was so small I couldn't even see my whole face. Let's just say this is a bad hair WEEK! That Saturday it rained hard as crap which didn't help my hair at all! Yesterday I had to go  up to the mountains for work (Frostburg for folks in the area). On top of it being a 3 hour drive it decided it should snow! Oh good Lord if my hair wasn't jacked up when I got there (which it was, lol) it was even more jacked by the time I lugged those huge boxes across campus in the snow! {Sidenote: Why does my boss keep mailing these HUGE boxes of materials to the work sites. I drive a flipping Saturn, I don't have room for that mess! And my arms are bony as all get out, I could barely wrap them around the box, we stopped every 5 steps to readjust} We rectified that mirror situation on Saturday and now I have a full length mirror in the bedroom and our maintenance person came and "reseted" (their word not mine) our bathroom plug.

 

Lately I've been getting these blinding headaches and my vision in my right eye goes blurry at various points of the day. Well last night I noticed my eyelids were swollen too. Woke up this morning and they still were. So now I have on my glasses that are broken. They aren't taped or anything, don't want y'all to think I'm that raggedy but let's just say if I bend over, they will fall off my face, lol. It's already happened twice today.

 

No need to even mention the bandaids on my sliced up fingers, lol.

 

On a bright note to all this busted-upness, TheCount and I joined a gym on Saturday and we are going tonight. I was talking to a personal trainer yesterday at the health fair in the mountains about how to get a Beyonce body. He was cracking up, I looked at him like, I'm sorry I missed the joke. I'm dead serious right now. The problem is I can't do high impact exercises (jogging, treadmills) because of the lupus. He was really helpful with telling me moves that would keep my hips and knees from getting any more damaged. Operation Beyonce is in full effect!

Me? Embarrassing? No Way!

So apparently TheCount thinks I'm embarrassing, lol. The nerve of him! It started when we went to Chevy Chase to get me added to his bank account. We were sitting down waiting for our turn and it was taking forever. I was trying to help so I pulled a pack of Uno cards out of my bag. Y'all he looked at me and asked, "why the heck do you have Uno cards in your bag?" I thought it was obvious, "you never know when an Uno attack will happen!" He made me put them away though, so I sat patiently waiting. When we got in there we were making small talk with the bank worker. We found out all about his upcoming wedding, that his wife went to the same college as us, and that he and TheCount have the same birthday. I asked about picking out a check design since I was informed by both men that CareBears checks would no longer be acceptable. As I was looking I couldn't find anything we could agree on. TheCount suggested Superman and for some reason bringing that up made me realize there were no black characters on any of the checks. Instead of coming out all crazy I simply asked:

Me: Umm are there any black super hero's?
TheCount: looking at me like ohhh here she go Well the Green Lantern is, at least on the Justice League cartoons
Me: Who is this Green Lantern? Is he a real super hero? Who he hang with?
Banker: Yes, he's real
Me: Well why doesn't he have a movie? Who's his homies? Batman? Superman?
TheCount: Girl, shut up he's not with anybody
Me: Well he's in the Justice League. A league is a group, he has to hang with somebody!
Banker: HAHAHAHAHA
TheCount: Baby, let it go
Me: NO! I want green lantern checks
Banker: We don't have those
Me: What about Obama checks?
TheCount: Baby please! Let's just look at these quotes and pick one of those.
Me: Ohhhh I like this one: Ask me about my grandkids
TheCount: Whatttttt?
Banker: They can ask, and she can tell them she doesn't have any!
Me and Banker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
TheCount: hangs his head in shame, especially when I pulled out my box of milk duds because I was ready for a snack.

Later on we were at the mall:
TheCount: What about this picture for the kitchen He holds up a plaque that read Bon Appeteit with a fat italian man holding food
Me: I don't want that fat white man in my kitchen!
TheCount: BABY!
Me: Sorry, you know I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying, maybe if one of us was Italian I would see it differently because I would want to honor your heritage too. But that one, ummm negative
TheCount: So what we gotta have all black art in the house?
Me:No, but that fat italian will not be in my kitchen It was at this point I saw this lady cracking up at our interaction

Today in church:
PastorC: What is your expectation from God? (she was asking the congregation, not just me)
Me: Manna from heaven!
TheCount: Whattttt?
Me: I'm hungry. Shoot God dropped bread from heaven in the Bible time, he can do it now. I need to eat.
TheCount: Oh my goodness you are so embarrassing!

All this weekend he has been shaking his head in shame at me. Oh, I've also been banned from handling knives in our house! These things are just too sharp! While washing dishes yesterday I cut myself twice within 5 minutes. The second time I cut a chunk out of my pinky. Oh my God! I screamed and cried like child, it hurt so bad. TheCount had me in a bear hug because he realized I was about to spaz out and start throwing things across the house. So I stood in the kitchen bleeding and hollering and not able to move. When I calmed down he took me into the bathroom and cleaned my hand up and finished the dishes. If anybody needs good knife recommendations, I can provide one, just wear protective gear!

Bring em out bring em out

There is a certain blogger that thinks it's cute to just go missing. I'm not naming any names but she is located in the scroll bar and her name does match one of the colors on this blog. And I will hunt her triflin tail down and beat her into submission. Gonna come out talking about a date and stuff and then not post for darn near a week. This has become a pattern of hers lately and I'm not sure I like it. Ms. Pink, I'm calling you out!

Let's Eat!

Yesterday was TheCount and my one month anniversary :) I love to celebrate anything so now that we're married I'm starting the month celebrations all over again. When TheCount got home from work I had fresh baked chocolate chip cookies and homemade hot chocolate waiting for him. He ate that while I cooked dinner and he watched t.v. Y'all let me tell you about that meal I cooked :) Oh my goodness! I took pictures, but since I'm emailing this blog in from work, I can't post them now. I made Sesame Chicken. The recipe came from the Everyday Cooking Blog by Darius T. Williams (again, can't link it because this is an email). This dude right here is tha truth! He said the recipe was easy, he didn't lie. He said it was good, again, he didn't lie. A word of advice would be to make sure you have all the ingredients before cooking. Don't try to make sesame chicken without sesame oil or sesame seeds. A certain blogger **coughmecough** thought that would be a good idea. I'm glad before I got back in the house from running errands I had a surge of brain power that reminded me that SESAME chicken probably needed at least sesame oil, lol.

 

Anyway, I made that paired with a salad (lettuce, cucumbers, broccoli, carrots, Parmesan cheese). My baby came in there while I was cooking and was looking at all the stuff I had out and I'm sure he thought this would be another disastrous creation. Let tell y'all some of the stuff he said during our meal:

 

"Oh my God baby, this is so good"

"How you make this? Is this honey?" (No honey was in it FYI)

"Ummm, you should, like, make this and take it places"

"Noooo don't tell yo' momma about this. Keep this as your secret weapon."

"If we weren't married I'd ask you to marry me off this one."

 

I'm not lying it was that freaking good. We both took it for lunch today. I have another recipe from the Everyday Cooking blog that I'm going to try tomorrow, Macaroni and Cheese (my sister and my favorite food). I'm trying to find my staple recipes for things we like so I can have an arsenal of good food at my disposal. Then we can have dinner parties and maybe even host a holiday event! We made macaroni and cheese a couple of weeks ago but it was Paula Deen's recipe and I thought my arteries were going to clog from just one spoonful of that butter, egg, and cheese mixture (really Paula, sometimes you take it a bit too far!). Anyway, if you're looking to cook a meal that everybody will love get that Sesame Chicken recipe from Darius' blog.

 

Anybody have any special recipes they want to share with me? I love cooking! I love eating even more!

Christopher Columbus must be my cousin

Y'all better be glad Laughing 808 saved your sorry behinds, with your non suggestion giving selves. I shall be moving on from that subject. (If you're confused, read the post under this, SUGGEST SOMETHING and then come back and join us please)

Want to know what I spent my day doing? Getting lost. For work I had to go to a wellness fair at the social services office. Well first my dumb butt went to the social security office (it was on the same street). Ughhh I was soooooo embarrassed when the lady told me in front of that room full of people that I was in the wrong building and she didn't even know what I was talking about. Then I drove down some and saw a social services building. After fighting through the parking thought I thought, "surely this is correct, it's so crowded." I got out of my car only to be told to go down some more. I drive down and don't see the appropriate number, but I see big complex. I go in and in the back I find the right building. I once again get the box out of my car and I see my boss arriving as well. We go in only to find out that we are at the wrong location again! We go down the street and finally find it. Geez! I had a good time though. The nurse that was helping me was a 25 year old black chick from p.g. too. Good times we had! She's doing some of the other fairs coming up with me too so I'm excited. Anyway that was done at 2 so I was on my way back home to go to the social security office to change my name. I drove up and down the same street for 20 MINUTES trying to find this place. It was hidden in the back of a shopping center. I did that and got my name changed. I'm officially Mrs. Count. I change my drivers license Friday and get a new bank account Saturday.


After leaving there at 4, I try to find the Food Lion. Good Lord! I found: Giant, a random field, a firehouse, Columbia Mall, and a nice housing complex during my 30 minute trek to Food Lion. I was so frustrated. Found it, wasn't too impressed with their prices either, got my stuff and got out. Then I remembered that I had to go to the bank. Spent another 30 minutes lost trying to find that. Got there and didn't have the darn checks. I broke down crying and screaming outside the bank.

Want to know the real sad part? I had a darn GPS system and google directions and map pulled up on my phone! How dumb can I be. Ughhh, I need a chauffeur.

(get the title? If you don't please enroll yourself back in Elementary School, or go ask a 5th grader)

Every.Single.Day.

Perhaps y'all didn't hear me yesterday. I asked you what can I do for the Count's birthday on the 22nd? (Those sentences must be read with much neck rolling and pursed lips) Now, I will ask this question every day until I get sufficient results. You may begin with the suggestions........

I gots nothing

I don't have a darn thing to post about. Yesterday morning TheCount tried to drag me out of bed though. It failed, and I got to work around noon, lol. I ended up upset and crying at various points during the day but then all at once I stopped. I don't know what happened but I just got happy :) Then we went to church last night which was good as usual, came home and discovered once again our cable didn't work. It said our box wasn't authorized for use. I called and I was so upset because I keep paying for a service that I have problems with every week. Y'all I wanted to fuss but it was 11:30pm and the rep on the phone sounded so tired. She was all yawning and lackluster. Good Lord I felt bad for her. If it doesn't work today I will call back and fuss for extra good measure and then waste my Saturday afternoon waiting for Comcast. Well at least that means I'll have time to do more than wash and wrap hair. I haven't blow dried or curled my hair in a month I think I'll rock some curls for at least the next  month.

 

I need some ideas. TheCount's birthday is Saturday November, 22. What should we do? I want to go somewhere (not far or expensive) like camping or some cool town nearby. Ohhhh we should drive up to Philly and eat cheese steaks :) Or go to Pittsburgh find the Steelers players and stalk them (although that would be more fun for me). He's been wanting to go play paintball but I'm probably to lazy to organize his friends to go do it. Anyway, help me out people. What can we do to celebrate TheCounts 23rd birthday?

Can you believe it?

We did it. Praise God, we did it. Who would have thought? Not me. But we did. How awesome is this?

It's time to celebrate

I voted! I waited in line for about an hour. TheCount had a different polling center it took him 2 minutes, lol. He was quite pleased with himself. I saw my neighbors and many many of my old customers fom my CVS days. It was a beautiful thing. My Momma was working the polls. She called me a little while ago proclaiming "if I see another black face I don't know what I'll do!" At that location there are 1400 people registered to vote. About 1000 have already come through. My mom was all excited talking about "all the drug dudes came through. They rode together, lol." It made me smile. After I voted I went to my parents house and stole some fried chicken and grapes. Yummy! Then I went grocery shopping while everybody else was still at work. This dude at Safeway was just a taste smitten with me. He kept checking on me while I was shopping. When I got in line he came and got ME and only me out of the line to ring me up on a different register, no wait. I thank God he mad me cute, lol.

I'm cooking my husband his favorite meal. I wanted to make him chili, since it's Barack's favorite food to cook, but he reminded me that Barack would not be in this house tonight so I shouldn't cater to him. Now we're having lasagna, mozzarella garlic bread, and cran-apple juice. I have the sparkling cider ready for tonight. I am soooo excited. Hopefully I'm done crying. I didn't cry when I voted but when I got in the car I kept hearing his speeches and gospel songs and I couldn't help it, I was bawling. Tonight, I celebrate. I'm ready guys. I just know it's going to be a great night!

I'm a cool kid now!

Ohhhhh I have the new google phone. Me likey! I'm trying to see if I set this thing to post from my phone correctly. The real post is below.

And so it ends

Yesterday TheCount and I went out to dinner with some of his friends. During dinner TheCount said something that really hurt my feelings. I got silent and just sat there. As we all got up to leave everybody was deciding where they were going and TheCount told his friends that he couldn't go with them because he had to run me to some stores. As soon as I got in the car I started crying. TheCounts reaction to me crying only made me cry more. As we went from store to store we didn't speak to each other. We went to my parent's house to pick up a tv because ours died earlier that day. We didn't speak then. I wasn't feeling well after we ate so that didn't help. We got back home around 7. Y'all I cleaned from 7pm to 1am. I am proud to say our apartment is immaculate! The boxes of clothes that took up an entire wall in the bedroom? Done. The boxes of toiletries that took up all the space in front of the closet? Sorted, tossed, and put away. The boxes of wedding gifts in the dining room? Put away. Every dish, piece of lint on the floor, the hall closet, the bathroom. Finito! All of TheCounts work clothes ironed and put away. It makes me happy when I clean, it's peaceful. When I finally fell asleep last night I had a dream I got a raise at work.

This morning TheCount and I still did not speak. I said goodbye, he said the same. All day, no phone calls or texts. I got home at 6:15, no Count. Oh well. A few minutes later he comes in. No words. I get on the phone with my sister and I hear him in there putting something in the oven. When I finally come out of the bedroom I see he bought me the magnetic calendar I tried to find yesterday. I also see he bought a wireless router. I still don't speak to him but I do tell my sister that he did something nice. A little while later I bite his but. A little while after that he sits down and makes me fall and he laughs. Then the commercial comes on for the redskins-steelers game. He's a die hard redskin fan and I'm a steelers fan.

Me: Oh yeahhh the steelers are going to win
Him: Yeah right

And so it ends. Talking like old friends.

Him: What was wrong with you?
Me: you hurt my feelings....
Him: That wasn't my intention.....
Me: Yeah I know.

All is well :) We're about to watch my team beat his, he's hating already. Let me go get my jersey. I'm ready for some football!

Friday Randomness

I'm watching Dreamgirls or rather ruining Dreamgirls for all of humanity. "Listen" is THAT song. Y'all TheCount is over in the corner with headphones in. Poor neighbors, I sure hope they can't hear me! I have freshly painted nails, OPI Lincoln Park after Dark, beautiful! I love dark colors. Guess what guys, tomorrow, for work, I have to participate in Halloween. My parents stopped letting my sister and I participate in Halloween when I was 5. We are turning our department into a hospital. I have my pink scrubs and name badge that states I'm the receptionist. My office mate is going to be the patient, all bandaged up with glow sticks because she really did just undergo radiation therapy for cancer. The copy room is the x-ray room, we have an anesthesiologist, a maternity ward, and an ER. It's a competition between each department and I think we are going to win. We all have signs for the various areas and name badges. How exciting! Every Halloween from first grade on I had to sit in the office during the costume parade. I can't say I ever really minded. The day after Halloween my mom would go to the store and buy all the discounted candy and she would let us pig out. Time for the Dreamgirls finale. Gotta go tear it up!

WWWAAATTTTSSSSOOOOONNNN

Let me explain something to you about TheCount. He is very friendly. He knows everybody and speaks to everybody. Whenever we go somewhere he manages to find somebody he knows and he actually speaks to them. I'm the type of person to be walking through the mall, walk right past somebody I know, then say to whoever I'm with, "haha, we just walked past my nextdoor neighbor/my best friend from school/soandso's ex boyfriend/this girl from church." I do it ALL the time. I'm just not that big on small talk. Well when we were in Mexico TheCount and his overly friendly self made friends with this dude that worked next to a restaurant I liked. HIs name was Javier, he used to live in California. He is married with 2 kids, he has their names tattooed on his arm, he's been doing his job for about 12 years now......Oh my gosh y'all I wanted to smack him, I did not come to Mexico to make friends. Our last name is Watson, and that's what the dude called us. One day we were eating at a different restaurant and he was walking by and saw us:

Javier: "Watttsssoonnnnnnn! What's up my man. Hey waiter take care of them, they are good people. Hey Watson, stop by and see me, I have more coupons for you guys."

Of course we were nice and polite, but we didn't go by. The next night it had started to rain as we were walking to dinner. I had my fabulous weave in so I didn't mind. On the way back it was storming something serious. Since the streets were cobblestone I had to be extra careful because I didn't want to sprain my ankle running. We paused at one corner to plan the best way across because the street was flooded. As we were contemplating, we heard:

"Wattttsssssooonnnnnnn! What's up my man!"

We turned around and of course it was our dude, Javier.

Javier: "Having a good time? Carry your wife across the street man."

Me: "No, it's fine, I like to play in puddles"

Javier: "Guys, come here. Meet Watson, he is a good man. Watson, this is Dude. Dude's dad is African American."
Dude: "Yessss, my dad is African American from South America, that is where I am from. Coooll Shirt Watson. Look, I have a card like that."

Javier: "Go away now, these are my friends, what are y'all doing tomorrow? Staying in all day?"

Count: "Yeahhh, I think I'll lock her in tomorrow."

Javier: "Ohhhh Watson, you are sneaky. Ok be safe guys."

I can't tell y'all how many times during the course of the week we heard somebody calling out our name! Granted the only other time we saw black people was when the cruise ship was docked, but still, we couldn't have been the only interesting people in the town!

Count 'em off

I think it's always important to take out some time to count your blessings. Today I found myself in a place where I was beginning to worry and stress about some stuff. Then I stopped to realize that I have never gone without something I needed and I needed to be thankful for what I have. So in this post I will share the wedding blessings. Here we go:

1. My dress was 50% off. I went into the shop and tried on a dress that I liked, then the sales consultant told me to wait, she had a dress that was on clearance that I should try. I fell in love and bam, it was mine!

2. My wedding cake was free. Yepyep, free. A 3-tier square cake with flowers cascading down the side that was big enough for 250 people. FREE! TheCount's best friend's mama is a cake baker and she did our cake for us.

3. The catering was......free. Well, we bought the food and the people cooked it for free. My aunt, my dad (who has a catering business), and my mom's best friend (who also has a catering business) cooked and served the food.

4. My cousin did my makeup for free. I bought the makeup with the gift cards I got at my bridal shower. I paid $1.50 for some mac foundation and chanel lip stick. Whooohooooo :)

5. My hairdresser was the bizzomb, lol. All that she did for what she charged was great! I drove past the salon one day and told my mom to go in and pick a stylist. What a great choice!

6.The weather was beautiful!

7. People were very very generous with gifts and funds. Seriously, we stared in surprise at some of the amounts people wrote.

8. My parent's paid for the wedding. My mom worked night and day to make sure some of the things were completed. Chair covers, table clothes, hand made invitations and programs, gift bags, picture frame favors, bridesmaid gifts, MamaTM is the bomb!

9. Family came from near and far to be with us to celebrate. Even strange family from North Carolina that I had never met before and we didn't even send an invitation to found out and showed up.

10. My husband is the bomb! He's washing dishes and cleaning up as I type and watch The Mentalist :)

I made another good dinner tonight. Rosemary chicken and potato's. The potato's were so good that I'm making another batch right now for my lunch tomorrow. It was sooooo simple and tasty. Take some time today to smile at the small things. When times of stress and pressure hit, take some time to count your blessings!

Singing Skin

I sat down to write a blog post and guess what I ended up doing? Watching Beyonce videos on youtube. I don't know how I ended up doing that, I never even go on youtube. I'm singing Crazy In Love now, lol.

I cooked my honey our first real meal of our married lives. Scallops and Pasta with a side of fried garlic corn. Yummmyyyyyy! I made this bomb alfredo sauce :) Now my honey is making (meaning slicing from the roll) chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Why the heck didn't I get married sooner. This is great.

Today at work I had a mini breakdown. Y'all I looked in the mirror and I looked freaking terrible. My skin just looked lackluster and my eyes looked dark and tired. So I decided I'm going to have to do more than just mascara in the morning. At the very minimum I will do mascara and eyeliner....VERY MINIMUM! I'm going to try and do shadow too. I have some mac mineralize powder that makes my face look nice, but I 'm not sure if I want to start wearing that everyday. My skin is actually clearing up! People keep talking about I have a married glow, I want to tell them that's just my skin clearing up, because it really is! My dark spots are drink enough water.decreasing and lately my skin looks good, I don't know what was wrong today, I guess I didn't drink enough water today. I've been guzzling it up since I got home.


"I don't know why you lovvveeeee me. And that's why I loooveeeeee you..." I am tearing this Beyonce song up! I need to shut up because TheCount is studying for his test that he has to drive to Pennsylvania to take tomorrow. He hasn't complained about my singing yet so I guess I'm fine. He normally tells me shut up before I even get the first note out, just like the hater that he is, lol.

What do you do to insure you look good when leaving the house?

First real weekend with my husband and another wedding

I finally got a real taste of married life this weekend. Friday night I was supposed to go to the rehearsal for my friend's wedding on Saturday. I called her 3 times and sent her a text, she never responded. So I didn't go. She never even told me the correct time. TheCount was like you are being trifling, I still didn't go. Saturday morning we were up pretty early so I decided we should finally get some groceries for the house. We went to W.alMa.rt first then the vitamin shoppe to get my shampoo and scalp treatments then to Trader Joe's but they didn't have what I needed. Finally we made our way over to Giant, I had my list of all the sales and everything. We had a lot of fun together. Since I was in a wedding that night and we were going to church in the morning we decided to spend the night at my parent's house. I was supposed to meet at the hotel at 5:30 to get ready for the wedding at 7:30, yeahhhhhh I wasn't there, lol. When I got to the hotel at 6, I saw the bride on the phone cussing somebody out. I was like oookkkkkkkk, and ran over to do damage control. It was the beginning of a very interesting wedding.

Her wedding was very very interesting. Let's start with the good. The reception was beautifully decorated and the food was aaammmmaazzziiiinngggg. For the appetizer each person had HALF A PINEAPPLE on their plate with fruit on the inside. It was beautiful and tasty! So tasty that I kept eating fruit I was allergic to :) I had crabcakes but I hear the chicken and beef meals were equally as good. From what people told me, the bartender was also amazing, people were raving about their drinks. Now on to the rest of this "event."

First of all the groom cursed the bride's 13 year old sister out and threatened to cancel the wedding all because she didn't let him take a shower in the room all the bridesmaids were getting dressed. Yes, he is as jerky as he sounds. Anyway, we get ready and walk next door to where the wedding will be. I help her get in her dress, which the lady made too tight. This chick is a size freaking 2, and the seamstress had to take that in, but she took in a bit too much, she couldn't even sit down. Halfway through the reception I had to sneak behind her chair and undo her corset snaps and zip it back up.

The music for the ceremony was verryyy interesting. The groomsmen walked in to some song talking bout "Hi, my name is Charlie, and I'm a virgo..." and some other foolishness. We walked into a song from Dreamgirls, the flower girl walked into "Beauty is her name," and I forget what the bride walked in to. Want to know what their first dance was? I bet you'll never guess what their first dance was. "Me and Mrs. Jones," yes the song about having an affair. Just because the title has your name in it does not mean you should ignore the song content.

The groomsmen were ummmmmm very very interesting. As we met up to leave out of the ceremony we had to link arms. This is what followed:
Groomsman: I missed you last night at rehearsal.
Me: yeahhh
GM: looking at my ring oh, I see I'm too late
Me: Oh yeah, about 2 weeks late
GM: Dammmnnnnn, well they say you supposed to have a husband and a boyfriend.
Me: Ummm they didn't say that to me
GM: Well can I be your husband for the night?
Me: nervous laughter

As we go trough the night talking, since I had to sit next to him.
Me: No thank you, I don't drink
GM: Did you have a bad experience with alcohol or something?
Me: No, I just don't drink
GM: Does your husband drink?
Me: No
GM: Would you have married him if he did
Me: No, I wouldn't have dated him if he did
GM: So I would have had a chance if I didn't drink?
Me: Well if you didn't drink, smoke, or curse. And if I wasn't married and....
GM: Dammmnnn, ok. Umm has anybody ever called you bourgeois?
Me: Hey, I've heard worse.

Y'all this dude tried everything in his power to get me to sleep with him. His ole funky jacked up teeth old behind! Ugghhhhh.

But the best part of the wedding was the fight. Yes the fight. Over the darn bouquet. Between my old boss and some lady. Y'all they would not let go. Spinning around snatching. They had to do a tie breaker. And the other lady actually pouted because she lost! I thought she was going to cry. My boss came over afterward and said, "I was going to beat her motherf***ing @ss if she didn't let that d**n thing down." Oh if you could have seen it. And people have the nerve to ask why I didn't do a bouquet and garter toss at my wedding!

There's more foolishess, but that's all for now. I've made our lunches for tomorrow and now I have to put my husband to sleep :) AND PSERENDIPITY WHERE ARE MY PICTURES?